Is is wrong to go on holiday without your child?

[GinFizz3489]

I have a 3 year old and as you can imagine he is full on!

We took him abroad last year on holiday and it was nice but I didn't really feel like I got a holiday, more just parenting in a new location. Myself and my husband didn't really get to enjoy nice meals together or kick back with a few cocktails.

We are going away a family holiday abroad again this year and have chosen somewhere really geared towards kids entertainment etc.

I mentioned to my husband about maybe booking a holiday next year abroad for just the two of us to actually get a break. However this would mean we couldn't have a family holiday abroad.

Is this wrong? Should I just suck it up and accept this is my life as a parent and that I won't have many years of taking my son abroad? Or do we take some time for us?

While we are away my son's grandparents said they would take him away either abroad or somewhere in Britain so he isn't missing out.

I know it can be hard but you will regret not sharing these memories together later on. We don't have our children for that long! My husband and I always had extra holidays separately with our friends (me, a beach holiday with girlfriends and he, walking holidays with his mates) this way, we got to have a proper relaxing break as well as a family holiday (which will become easier btw!)

When we go on an adult holiday our children stay with grandparents. They've always loved this.

We also go on family holidays too.

Everyone is happy.

I think a holiday or two without my kids might well have saved my marriage. As it was everything we did was child focused and we never made time for just us. It was a big mistake. I couldnt bear to go away without them at the time though.
Now they are older and I have a new partner after divorce. We go away at least once a year just the two if us and those are the times we really relax as a couple and have time for ourselves to really reconnect and I can see how beneficial it is. I think it also makes me a better parent as I come back refreshed and happy and more able to give my time and energy to my family.

I’d go for it. Even a long weekend will make a difference.

Wow.

Definitely not 👋🏻👋🏻

If we had had the opportunity to do this we probably would have loved the idea! However for a long weekend, not a full week, those days have gone and we always take our DC away with us. Yes I would feel guilty expecting someone else to look after our child and yes I would miss them, so for me a few days max. Xx

When my teen was 3 we went on holiday to the UK 🇬🇧 without him. He stayed at my parents. They had a wonderful time with him. We had a wonderful holiday. We were gone 2 1/2 weeks. Called him every couple days. Did video calls. So I say go for it. We dud several short family holiday camping trips once we got home with him.

Everyone is diffetrent and theres no wrong or right but a wk is a LONG time to a child,especially a young one. Ive heard too many stories of parents going on honeymoon,ringing home and gp's saying oh hes fine having a great time when in reality the child was upset and asking for the parents. Could you go away foe a weekend you and hubby and still do the family holiday???

The decision is entirely up to you and the grandparents. I would recommend that you start with a weekend and see how it goes, then build up.
Also be aware that the grandparents would need written permission from parents to take the child out of the UK - take advice!

Why don’t you think about a cruise? When our eldest was 6 we went on a week’s cruise. She got to do all the ‘kiddy’ stuff in the evening children's clubs while me n DH had lovely meals and watched shows etc. She was sooo happy and entertained. She stayed with us all day and explored new places, we all had the best of both worlds. With no help from grandparents, it was a great way of having a bit of ‘us’ time.

We did this. We had a lovely relaxing time, which we really needed - small children are hard work. The dc had a lovely time with their grandparents and it really helped them to bond with them.

I think it’s really good for kids to stay with their grandparents for a while.

Not sure id do a whole week away personally but we’ve done a nice long weekend without the DCs before. But we’ve done this in addition to taking them on holiday so they aren’t missing out.

I think whilst you are in the child rearing phase, holidays with them are the way to go. A child needs holiday memories and if they can't have holidays with you, with respect, and have to go without a holiday well. Plenty of time after they are 16 or 18.

I think you suck it up

it will get easier though. Three is a tricky age for holidays

We've done a long weekend but that's the maximum I'd do really with a toddler at home. Well we planned just two days but our flights were cancelled. And we did it as at the time a family member was living with us so DC was very used to them so made the childcare easier and wasn't too much of a change as could stay home/sleep in their own bed etc. depends on the length of the holiday I think?

I think family holidays are important and make key memories. I found a toy giraffe yesterday that we got in Paington. My poor DC got pooed on by a seagull and we had to try and get clean clothes, then we went to the pier and they fell in love with the giraffe but it was way more tickets than we could ever afford to win. We hit a jackpot on one machine and then a couple gave us all their tickets and suddenly we had enough tickets for the giraffe after all! Your child needs to do that with you and not GP.

Have breaks with just the two of you but you maybe only get ten shots at most at those family ones.

Only on mumsnet will you get people telling you that you must ALWAYS be with your children. Everyone I know in real life has times when they would and have gladly handed the kids over to the grandparents and hopped on a plane for a week off.
Our children were around 4 and 7 when we had our first holidays without them and we then had a child free holiday every year. This was in addition to our family holiday. It hasn’t done them any harm and they don’t resent us for it.
They had a wonderful time with their grandparents and we had a week of relaxation. Win win.

Dunno some pita's in my life seem to think I must be at home with my children 24 fucking 7.

Kids are full on, esp on holidays. My two are teenagers now and we have enjoyed many holidays, some a lot if hard work, and I feel that we're coming to the end of an era. It feels so short.

I think that rather than one or the other, I'd book a family trip to a holiday geared up for kids, maybe in UK to a holiday camp type place for 4 nights that your child will love and then book a weekend away at a nice UK hotel.

My boys are 13 and 9. We’ve always done family holidays and DH and myself have had only a handful of sleepovers and one big weekend away in this time. Our grandparents are retired but busy so we don’t get any respite or offers. If we ask we have to book way in advance and it takes the fun out of it so we don’t bother. I have always hankered for us time and I’m a big advocate of it. Life gets busy and we plough so much into our kids we can sometimes forget how it all started, just the two of us! Once our kids leave home it will be the two of us again. You need to invest in the two of you and I would say yes, go for it. Recoup and enjoy.

I really hope when (if) I am a grandparent my kids trust me to have their children so they can go on holiday. Most people who don't get it are people who don't have the option, either due to lack of childcare or funds to do both family and child free breaks.

Not at all ‘wrong’! I personally wouldn’t enjoy a holiday with dh without the kids (and mine are small and full on) for the worry of leaving them or being stranded abroad for a volcano or whatever but if that’s not a concern for you go for it.

Wrong no - necessary form sure.

Go on holiday and enjoy yourself. For some people on business trips or OU courses the childless week is non optional. Yet everyone survives and the adults get to adult.

I did an OU week and some silly moo asked if he was alright. (He was wasting away in Nanny's arms.) I told her I left him with a credit card and the number of the pizza place. He was 2.

Miserable bitch reported me.

DC with grandparents will have a ball. Think of it as letting them share in the joy of his early years.

If you leave him home alone then yes it is wrong