Is is wrong to go on holiday without your child?

[GinFizz3489]

I have a 3 year old and as you can imagine he is full on!

We took him abroad last year on holiday and it was nice but I didn't really feel like I got a holiday, more just parenting in a new location. Myself and my husband didn't really get to enjoy nice meals together or kick back with a few cocktails.

We are going away a family holiday abroad again this year and have chosen somewhere really geared towards kids entertainment etc.

I mentioned to my husband about maybe booking a holiday next year abroad for just the two of us to actually get a break. However this would mean we couldn't have a family holiday abroad.

Is this wrong? Should I just suck it up and accept this is my life as a parent and that I won't have many years of taking my son abroad? Or do we take some time for us?

While we are away my son's grandparents said they would take him away either abroad or somewhere in Britain so he isn't missing out.

Why don't you go away together and book yourselves into a different resort a taxi ride away for a few nights? I think that would mean you all get to spend time together but you also get time away with the peace of mind that comes from not being a flight away.
It's not wrong at alllll to want the time away and if you can do it then it's not an issue.
You don't seem wholly comfortable with it though but you're lucky enough to have help on hand so I'm sure you'll come up with something you're happy with.
Next year he'll be 4 and it will all be different again.

It sounds like you have great help in grandparents so also suggest perhaps asking for a bit more help for the odd night away so it's less likely to get you to total burnout.

I don't agree. As a pp said, DS's needs supercede his parents' wants, but otherwise I certainly don't view having chosen parenthood to be a series of acts of automatic sacrifice, and I don't think that would be beneficial to anyone if I did.

I cannot imagine doing this. My kid was a right energetic pain who never slept, but I could barely go a night without missing her terrribly. From the time she was about 14 months old to 4.5 years, I had a job that required 1-2 nights away every month. It was torture for me. A week away? Never. I love going on holiday with her, imho kids make it more fun. 🤩

I’d suggest you have a 3 day break to see how it goes, not a full week.

Our boys are a little older now, but in 20 years we’ve been abroad 3 times without them. The first time was our honeymoon, my son was 3 and stayed with my parents for a week. I missed him a lot, each time I saw a boy his age it wretched my heart. When we came back he talked about the time we took him to Nana and grandads and didn’t come back him☹️

It was 9 year later before we went abroad together (without kids) again, but for 3 days only. We did it again 4 years after that. 3/4 days is just right, a week is too long - different when they’re older, but not when they’re little. When they’re older they’ll hardly notice you’re gone!

@S251

your last sentence is probably why there are so many depressed people about

@ABwithAnItch

how do kids make it more fun?

Honestly I would just adjust your expectation of what a holiday is for a short period of time - you are a family now and you have a small child, holidays will be different. But that won't be forever! I personally would embrace the way your holidays look now in the knowledge that in a few years they will alter again. Maybe a little two night mini break or something for you and your husband if you need that break.

I can't imagine being away from my daughter for a full week, I would feel like my arm had been cut off!

Because you get to see the joy on their faces as they splash in the pool and sea, make sandcastles, try new foods, have an afternoon ice cream?

It really isn’t. People have turned into snowflakes.

Do it! Before covid my hubby and I would book long weekends to Spain, often random places where we’d relax and actualy feel like humans! We have had the kids abroad before and it is harder than just parenting at home! Since covid we bought a caravan and go away a couple of times a month! The kids are 6 & 8 and love it! They play out all day and enjoy freedom in a saver space! Highly recommend that also! We are planning next Yr to go away abroad without the kids too x

@S251

people thinking of that parenthood is all about sacrifice and that they can’t do anything nice for themselves for years and years is enough to make any one depressed imo

How old are your children?

@LuckySantangelo35

why?

Why not think about using the holiday kids club and a sitter one evening? Your time after kids is different - if you want to sit back and relax then no not compatible . Personally a no from us- we don’t get a break, they are ours, our choice and I like to go with them .

Kids clubs all the way!

Just wondering. You seem to have a lot to say about parenting but never say anything about your own kids.

How old are your kids?

Welcome to martyrdom. 😳

I pretty much disagree with all of this. As long as you have good babysitters, e.g. grandparents there is no reason why couples can't have time together, a meal together or even a holiday abroad together.

@PeaceOnThePorch

I dont have any as yet!

and?? So?!

I think that you’ll find others on here who are parents will agree that becoming a parent does not have to mean signing yourself up for years and years of selfless martyrdom.

I think it's good for your relationship if you can get away and know he's happy.

Why not try a 2-3 night break first, see how you all feel then try a week away next?

Yes in my view it’s very wrong & who would be looking after your child for the duration of your holiday. How will you explain to your child who will be 4/5 that they won’t be coming on holiday with you. I’m all for having short breaks away without children but to sacrifice their holiday for your stress free adult holiday is extremely selfish.

Right. On some threads you say you have kids and use them as an example of why kids should be left, but then on other threads you don’t have kids?🧐

Your posts are noticeably very argumentative, often aggressive, always telling people to leave their kids, give their kids less attention, you’re never on the kids ‘side’, you often seem hateful of kids and parents. You seem unhappy. Your answer to everything is to go out with the girls and drink Prosecco leaving the kids.

I’m not against going on holiday without kids, if you look back, I commented that I’ve done it, but I keep noticing your name on threads and not for good reasons and your posts contradict themselves.

For me a holiday wouldn’t be a holiday without my children. But I have lots of friends who go away without their children. But then I don’t have childcare for a night out so it’s not something I could do anyway 😂😂😂
but I do think a week is too long, maybe 2 or 3 nights, however it’s a personal choice only you can decide

Me and dh have a holiday with dc one year, and without them the next. We are lucky to have grandparents who I trust completely with the dc, they always have a great time and get spoilt when they are with them. 1 week is fine too, it gives you time to actually relax. Everyone is different and some people are worriers ( we aren't ) and to tell the truth I don't miss dc one bit, its bliss ( risk getting called an horrible parent ). Me and dh need the time, we both work full time and spend the rest of the time running our 4 dc to numerous clubs each week so look forward to and enjoy our holiday without them as much as we do the holidays with them. Go for it op

I can’t believe people DON’T go away sometimes without their kids 🤷‍♀️ Why on earth would it be wrong?

Why on earth did you decide to have a child that seems to be getting in the way of you ‘kicking back’??