Is is wrong to go on holiday without your child?

[GinFizz3489]

I have a 3 year old and as you can imagine he is full on!

We took him abroad last year on holiday and it was nice but I didn't really feel like I got a holiday, more just parenting in a new location. Myself and my husband didn't really get to enjoy nice meals together or kick back with a few cocktails.

We are going away a family holiday abroad again this year and have chosen somewhere really geared towards kids entertainment etc.

I mentioned to my husband about maybe booking a holiday next year abroad for just the two of us to actually get a break. However this would mean we couldn't have a family holiday abroad.

Is this wrong? Should I just suck it up and accept this is my life as a parent and that I won't have many years of taking my son abroad? Or do we take some time for us?

While we are away my son's grandparents said they would take him away either abroad or somewhere in Britain so he isn't missing out.

This is true, I may fall into that but mine are a bit small to know yet.

I think it goes the other way as well, sometimes a complete I need to leave them constantly, 24.7 childcare and work and family time and couple time.

Can we not all be a bit more about who cares if it works for you fab.

I was professional, gave up because I suddenly had four despite being told I wouldn't have any and many losses..

Would I leave them for a holiday, not a chance. What's DH holiday? One week a year, Tennant farmer.

I would like to leave them to go to the toilet. That would be a great start. That's others idea of hell.

I didn't have quads BTW. I adopted then had two.

Personal preference. I know a few couples that go away without the kids every year

I won’t do it, the kids deserve to travel as much as I do and the memories outweigh the hard work. We’ll have our travelling days back when the kids are older

I’d do a night away with the OH but definitely not a holiday

I personally think it's fine and would be good for you and your husband/partner but agree with what other say maybe an long weekend close first to see how it goes and If there is any problems you have not got far to get back.

I think take an intelligence course.

Your son is 3 yrs old. And has grandparents willing to look after him, while you're on holiday.

Please do that.

The biggest group of naive people have no choice. They have to go away with their infants/toddlers. Because they don't realise that they are taking children to a foreign place with no familiar routines, where the children don't know their way around. The children go off swimming - without the parents keeping an eye on them every minute to make sure they don't drown.

Every year a small crop of holiday children die, usually by drowning.

So if you can, spend a week or two away with hubby. Go for it and enjoy.

However, once your child turns 12. And enters THEIR most socially formative years.

You might want to consider an annual 4-5 day break camping or caravaning and inviting one of your child's friends along. Not really any extra cost for extra child.

But going away in your child's early years supports your marriage.

Doing a short annual break focussed on your child's teenage years - supports your child's growth and development.

Or equally good, do a family PGL holiday. They're a really good, fun, team-building exercise for families. And they match up families based on kids ages.

But right now, love the grandparents who give you the freedom to get away for a week or two.

I personally wouldn't be going to another country and leaving my child with other people, especially if they had only had a single night away from us. Can you try a local holiday a few hours away for a few nights? You can get some recharge time and see how your LO goes? There is no point travelling all the way to some great location and being miserable because your LO is struggling.

I’ve got lots of friends who do this, but not me. I single now so my kids come on holiday with me. I’ve done a weekend without them whilst they’re at their dad’s but never a full holiday.

Used to live our family holidays to Pontins and Butlins back in the 80s and we I have tended to do similar with mine but to caravan parks as Butlins is expensive now and too far for us and Pontins went down hill. Have also done an abroad holiday geared at families too with kids entertainment etc. I did struggle abroad though with trying to relax at the pool with the kids in tow though. We tend to do active holidays with day trips out and kids entertainment on an evening.

I do sometimes look longingly at couples who go for a week or more and leave the kids behind. I wouldn’t have anywhere to leave for a whole week though. Their dad has always managed though. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Are your parents/PILs really willing and able to have a lively toddler for a whole week? Try starting with a weekend perhaps.

There are so many places that have kids clubs and activities these days. Some have evening sitters too. Many places do so much for the children even in the evening, that you will only see them for breakfast and to put to bed. How would it work for you to share holiday with the grandparents so that you have evenings apart?

Parenting is a 24/7/365 role that you signed up for, and if you work, then they will look forward to spending more time with you.

When he starts school, your current care arrangements may change, and you may find yourself using some of your holiday at different times to DH to cover.

Having said all of that, many marriages fail because of the lack of connection due to being just parents, so if it is right for you, then it is

People are insane on here. Holidays with kids are hard work. They do not appreciate it. It’s good to go away just with your spouse. Martyrdom is 🙈 Go away, have some actual fun

Okay I must be the odd one out. My kids used to go on holidays to my parents every summer for 2 months starting at about age 4. My parents would come down the last day of school and take them back with them. And return them a week before school was to return or I would drive up and bring them back. My kids have great memories of these holidays and they got to meet tons of extended family as the town consists of about 75% relations.
My kids didn't feel they missed out on anything and I was able to let them have some great small town memories. I also didn't have to worry about childcare during school holidays.

I now do the same for my granddaughter and she comes to visit us all school holidays. My other grandchildren live in the same area as me so they don't stay over but I see them often.

We have and do
We went to the other side of Aus in February for WWE - a 5 hour flight from Queensland
DD is 14 and has no interest in WWE, would have hated being there so she stayed at her friends place Friday morning to Sunday night

We did it when she was a bit younger too South Aus to Victoria as i chase WWE when it comes to Aus

Its great for all of us. Me and DH get alone time, DD gets a break from us
We all come back home happy and relaxed

But don’t you see, YOU missed out on those beautiful summer memories! You can’t get them back. Two months is an extraordinary long time to be without your parents.

I would be pretty devastated to look back on some of the best years of my life - summer days with my young children chasing butterflies and hatching them. Picnics and paddling pools - sticky faces from icecream and beach days - and imagine I had given it all away?

Your post sounds like something from the world war when the children were packed off. Sorry!

2 WHOLE months! Wow 😮 that’s a long time. Would hate to be separated from my kids for so long.

I think this is the part I'm not truly following. People on this thread seem to hate going away with their children and I really don't know why

We have a 2.5 year old and we have taken her on four holidays so far - twice in the UK (with grandparents too) and twice abroad (just her, my husband and I). Honestly we had so much fun on all four occasions. It's lovely to spend so much time together and to see her enjoy experiencing new things. No, our holidays are no longer the restaurant and bar hopping city breaks we used to love, but that's ok, we'll get those back again one day! In the meantime, we are all making memories together.

@dahliadream I think it depends on how you view a holiday. We never did lie ins, hotels or pool holidays pre kids and prefer being go, go, go from an apartment base around a city. Holidays for us have not changed much since having a child as our toddler just tags along and we love exploring with him.

Those who had pure relaxation holidays before kids and try to repeat the same are always going to be disappointed.

I think it’s entitled. You’ve got a child now. It’s entirely possible to have fun with them!

I don’t think it is wrong. Personally, a week would be too long for me and I do actually really enjoy holidays with our three young kids. However, DH and I try to get away for 1 or 2 nights once or twice a year - just in same country to reconnect and refresh. Kids stay at grandparents and have a ball.

if you have the money to do a longer trip with kids and one longer trip yourselves go for it. I don’t think there’s anything wrong (in fact I think it’s a positive) to leave kids with loving grandparents, but I personally would find substituting a family holiday for a couples holiday and also the week thing a bit much. As so many others have said here, go for a long weekend in the U.K., doesn’t have to be expensive and then do a holiday with your child somewhere with kids clubs so you can have the best of both worlds.

I don't think there's anything wrong with having a break without the children but personally I wouldn't do it at the expense of a family holiday or as an additional one. I think family holidays and time away together as a family are really important for kids growing up and some of my best memories as a child and I'd never want to sacrifice that for the sake of a holiday for myself. I'd maybe do a family holiday with your son and maybe look at a city break or weekend away with your husband. As your child gets older the holidays will be less full on and more geared to relaxation.

Some people on here are acting as though the op has said she never wants to holiday with her kid at all. It’s one week. The child is 3; the parents need a break. Nothing wrong with this at all.

The child will have a lovely holiday with his grandparents. Personally I think that’s nicer than putting him in a holiday club with strangers, somewhere unfamiliar and uncomfortably hot.

Entitled? Behave!
it’s absolutely fine to not agree but not fine to try to put people down when they have a different opinion.

It’s also entirely possible to have fun without them.

It’s also entirely possible to have fun without them.

Quite easy actually

When they were little I felt bad about leaving them for more than a few days. But a few child free long weekends away either as a couple or separately with friends were absolutely priceless.

Yes! 🤣🤣

This is where the UK differs so much from other places abroad. I’ve recently moved to Hong Kong; land of the helper. Everyone has one and loads of parents go away for the week and leave the children with the helper! It’s very much the norm in Hong Kong and I struggle to get my head around it. But I certainly wouldn’t judge anyone who does it and your child will be with family.
I do agree, maybe a weekend or a long weekend would be a better idea at first to see how things go. But if your child is happy and grandparents are happy to have him, then why the hell not 😄

I’ve seen others mention this but I’m a huge fan of cruising with kids - kids clubs are a revelation, and I only learnt when I took my DS, they have evening sessions which mean you can go for dinner, drinks and a show whilst your DC is having a great time - as it gets later they’ll generally have movie time to chill them out.
MSc even take all the children for dinner together!!