hard to watch very young kids addicted to screens

[fleurneige]

We have several young friends with toddlers, aged between 20 months and 3.5 years- and they all give kids their phone or tablet as soon as they start whining a bit or saying they are bored. Honestly, it is hard to watch how addicted they already are, and having massive tantrums if they don't get phone or tablet when requested.

How do you feel? Thanks for discussion.

Ok so is this at home? The park? Where is it?

are they neurodiverse? Big difference.

I hate it too.
I'm a teacher and I hear from all my teacher friends how much this is affecting children's language skills.

*TomeTome · Today 21:19

Nothing is wrong with any of those things, and that is often what children are doing on their screens.*

Come on. You cannot actually think that a child reading a physical book or playing with physical toys is doing the same thing on a screen?
Susan Schwartz, MAEd, alearning specialist at Friends Seminary, elaborates. “When children manipulate objects — real life, whole body movement with 3D objects — there is more visual and tactile input to their brain so that they are interacting in a more holistic way. So while they are learning the motions to swipe on a phone or match a picture on an app, they’re not developing that whole body understanding of where they are in space, how they’re interacting with materials.” For parents who are looking for educational activities for toddlers, playing with blocks actually teaches a more valuable and developmentally appropriate lesson.

If you need them to sit still for half an hour in a cafe whilst you chat to a friend I think it's ok as a last resort, though would personally try books and colouring first.

Park or in pushchair then no, engage with them!

Car journey - ok if it's a longish one and you are desperate. Better than a crying kid and there is only so much that can be done in the car to keep them entertained!

Bit of down time for a short period....it's ok, bit lazy but needs must (we all need 5 mins peace sometimes) and no different to TV.

I agree OP

I have a 3yo and that's not how we have done things, it actually makes me mad that parents can be so lazy and selfish. Sorry if that's judgey but it's true, these kids deserve better.

I find it extremely uncomfortable too. I am old so wary of speaking out about this , but I just hate to see toddlers in prams with a screen stuck in front of them. And all the other examples I could think of.

Why is a physical book better than reading on screen? Are all books equal? For that matter are all toys?

I have edited my my post to give context. Screens are 2 dimensional. Life is 3 dimensional.

Everyone saying "but it's only a few hours a day" - you do understand that everyone thrived without portable screens with wifi until about 2010?

I agree. Nobody with half a brain would argue that an excessive amount of screen time isn't harmful - there have been multiple studies showing how screens are adversely affecting brain development, concentration skills, and mental health.

It's widespread, and it's easier to give in than hold the line, so many parents pretend it's not harmful for an easier life.

I have two very young children. The telly was deployed on occasion when my youngest was first born, and I was figuring out how to adjust our new daily routine. Now the telly goes on maybe once a week max for 30 mins. Probably less frequently tbh.

Cannot fathom why anyone would routinely give a toddler or young child a phone or tablet tbh. Neither of mine have ever even touched one once!

In fairness, I don't personally know any mum who's toddler uses handheld screens, and all my mum friends heavily limit TV time. I have only ever seen a child in a pram with a phone or tablet a handful of times in passing. So I don't think it's really that widespread? Idk.

Wow I didn't know this

I think maybe this is why my daughter has such good language skills, that and the amount of talking and reading we do together every day

They might not be the same (although I'd argue the book is pretty similar) but some people appear to believe that one thing (physical) has 100% value and the other thing (digital) has 0% value. It's not that at all. There's loads of interesting, educational, entertaining, factual, inspirational, imaginative, creative stuff available on screens. In my experience most kids have a wide mix - far wider and more stimulating than anything I ever had a child.

My child plays on the tablet, switch and watchs films at his dad's and does nothing else. It means I have to be strict on screens when he's with me because he's been overdosed on screens whilst there.

One of the headlined findings in a a report commissioned by Kindred (a charity) and published last month is that 25% of children starting school now are not toilet trained. A significant number of parents felt that toilet training was not their responsibility.
This was another finding
One teacher told researchers: “I don’t think parents are reading to their children or children are even having an opportunity to colour ... so they get skills to have to hold a pencil or a crayon ... I definitely do think technology is having a big impact... 10 years ago, 15 years ago, this wasn’t the case.”
Another teacher said children were coming into school not knowing how to take turns, or sit and play. They added: “You can put a tablet or a mobile phone in front of them and they’ll probably be able to show me a thing or two. But you give them a board game, a hula hoop or something like that and they don’t know what to do with it.”.

Is OP coming across as judgy or do you just not like what OP has pointed out? My DS is 9 years old and I never gave him a device at those ages.

From another research report.

Parents are the interactive element
But perhaps the most important form of interactivity is what happens with parents as they participate in toddler screen time. “Simple screen time just with the child watching the show or playing with the app,” notes Dr. Cruger, “is far less valuable than when it also involves direct interaction with the parents.”
“The new buzz term,” says Dr. Lytle, “is joint media engagement, which means you’re going to interact with your child around screens just like you would interact with your child around any kind of media, whether it’s a book, or art material.”

It’s the screens when there is no need for them that gets me. One child I see regularly in the street cannot walk anywhere without having his mum’s phone in front of him. He’s walking! I hate seeing kids in pushchairs with them, look around!

If it helps this is very common for more able autistics as it allows them to filter out distressing noises and sights so they can move from place to place.

Yep. Has taken me ages to stop feeling guilty about this. Autistic kids need a lot more screen time (generally). The improvement in my son by giving him more screentime is impressive! It’s does the opposite, calms and regulates them.

I agree, I hate to see tiny kids watching trash on phones whilst their parents chat away gossip to adults instead of engage with their children, I see it all the time at events for the elder sibling and the younger one just gets a screen shoved in their face.

If my friend wanted to give their child a device to keep them entertained whilst we chat over coffee or whatever it is we’re doing then I wouldn’t bat an eyelid. The parents have plenty of time to entertain the kids so for an hour whilst we meet is fine. It’s either that or you can’t actually chat because their to busy entertaining the child

Everyone is though. Adults, teenagers. Everyone. It’s just a reflection of the 21st Century.

Yep and that’s why before screens, people frequently do things like meet for coffee without it being insanely stressful.

Screens aren’t bad; very useful if you actually want to enjoy a meal when you’re out at a restaurant and your toddler won’t sit still!

It’s like everything though; moderation is key! I agree if you let kids use them too much they just get sucked in and then have massive tantrums after. Same with chocolate, or too much of anything really.