first Mother’s Day a non event :(

[Jules182]

Sending love to all the mums out there.

am I right or be annoyed that my first Mother’s Day with my 11 month old hasn’t even been acknowledged? All I am asking for is a £1 card from Tesco is it too much to ask?

This was after he went out until midnight last night. Asked me what the plan was for today I said I would assume you sorted something or got a card? The response was you aren’t my mum? Then was accused of making an atmosphere and ruining the day. Sure. Am I being Tottaly unreasonable? I thought my first Mother’s Day would be a bit more of an event with at least a card :(

They don't care or notice though?! The point is we care and notice!!! It's a respect thing for someone you love imo.

His reply "you're not my mother" makes me soooo angry 😱 if he replied with " oh gosh sorry I didn't realise I would need to get a card, I'll do better next year, let's do something nice as a family today" I would understand that but the "you're not my mother" comment shows he thought about getting a card maybe and thought fuck it she's not my mum.

Hi OP. I’m so sorry but if it helps I’m in the same boat and have actually cried - I’m embarrassed to say. I’m also sad to say this because I now have this memory of my very first Mother’s Day which I’ll never ever get to do again. Can’t believe it tbh. My husband is usually so attentive and a great husband and dad. He is saying it wasn’t a thing in the country he grew up in. More than anything, I feel so foolish. I put my DC in a beautiful outfit today thinking we’d be doing something a bit different to the daily grind of no sleep, nappies, weaning mess and endless laundry. I feel stupid for getting excited. Oh well, it’s a learning curve. I’m someone who puts thought into any card I write, regardless of the occasion or recipient and I particularly make a fuss for my husband. So it hurt.

I’m sorry to hear this.

Hopefully DH is from a country (such as USA) which celebrated Mother’s Day on a different day and you get treated then instead.

I feel like this is totally shit of him.

I'm not big into mothers day and birthdays and the like, but not to even get you a card!! And then to say he's not your mum when you pulled him up on it?!

My first mother's day we were actually at a friend's wedding so it wasn't the first mother's day I envisaged but DH still made it a special day for me in the morning before we went with things like breakfast in bed and a card and presents and just generally making me feel appreciated so you are absolutely not being unreasonable. You deserve more.

Thanks everyone for the lovely words. It’s honestly made my day a little bit easier. I’ve realised that I deserve 100% more as does my little girl. I managed to get out and get some time to myself but of course still no apology and I created an atmosphere the whole day when we could have spent the day together as a family. LOL.

'LOL'?

At least you find it funny 🤷🏼‍♀️

Its not really a lol moment tbh

So many of us with little kids are in the same boat op and we were all saying yesterday that we’ll be enouraging our daughters just to stay single.

I’ve realised that I deserve 100% more

So what are you going to do to achieve that? Is he open to a frank conversation about how shit he is in general?

I’m interested to know if he did anything for his own mother? If you were both busy arranging flowers/chocolates and a lovely meal for her it should’ve clicked.

Would be nice for dad to get a card from the baby who can't go to the shops.

Had you talked about your expectations beforehand?

Did he get anything for his mum?

What's he like usually?

And what is it with all these useless men who don't realise that THEY get you a card and a gift until your baby is old enough to scribble their name in a card?

Are they totally un-self-aware, or do they just not give a shit?

IME Mother's Day didn't really become something until the children went to nursery/toddler groups etc and "made a card" there - so when the child was about 3 or 4.

By about 6 it was burnt (or stone cold toast) in bed, brought with great pride, and shortly after, cups of tea/coffee they had help carrying.

@LenaLamont that might have been your experience. Mine was toasted pan au chocolate for the whole family in our bed with coffee for me and other drinks for everyone else. The dc helped as much as they were able but it was DH who made sure it happened and tasted nice. It was as much a treat for the dc as me tbh, they really looked forward to it. Also obligatory flowers, chocolates, roast dinner and DH getting dc to do as much of the cooking and housework as they were able to do, but him picking up the slack.

Really?
so Dad gets a free pass from making any effort whatsoever, wow, what a negative attitude.
i hope the OP makes a big fuss of her own Dad and ignores him on Father’s Day!