first Mother’s Day a non event :(

[Jules182]

Sending love to all the mums out there.

am I right or be annoyed that my first Mother’s Day with my 11 month old hasn’t even been acknowledged? All I am asking for is a £1 card from Tesco is it too much to ask?

This was after he went out until midnight last night. Asked me what the plan was for today I said I would assume you sorted something or got a card? The response was you aren’t my mum? Then was accused of making an atmosphere and ruining the day. Sure. Am I being Tottaly unreasonable? I thought my first Mother’s Day would be a bit more of an event with at least a card :(

really?

He should’ve sorted a card and lie in with a cuppa in bed at least, I would take yourself off to town for a coffee and cake and a stroll round the shops. He can look after your little one today. Happy Mother’s Day OP 🙂

YANBU My DH always used to get a card and present for kids to give me until they were old enough to do this themselves. I'd be very hacked off!

Not being unreasonable but unfortunately not a new story. Was my birthday yesterday and mothers day today. All I asked for was a card and coffee in bed. Yesterday I woke my OH and asked he get up and at least help co parent. Then asked if he could do better tomorrow (ie today). Today I decided rather than wait and be disappointed I'd get my own coffee to take back to bed then got up and went out for a walk. That was 3 hours ago. Have had a toastie and a coffee from a local park cafe. Been totally delightful. Be nice to think there's a card waiting for me at home or he's at least got them dressed but I'm trying not to expect that much.

He's usually amazing, switched on, does 50:50 with the kids and around the house but there's something about these days where it's like he just flops. Then when I complain it's said that he thought he'd fail anyway so why try. Arghh!

Ah I'm sorry , that's crap . Make today all about you now if you want to stroll round the shops, have a day time bath you do it !

Yes go out but take your baby with you. It's Mothers day so why not enjoy spending it with him?
His thoughtless father, less so.

Sorry OP I've accidentally clicked 'yes' on your poll. I don't think you're unreasonable to expect some acknowledgement on mothers day. My husband bought me a card from the cat (which I think is ridiculous but his intentions were sweet) - if he wanted to make you feel special and appreciated, he would. I would leave the baby with your partner and go have a few hours doing something for you.
And don't bother acknowledging him on father's day.

Oh this feels sad. I think my first Mother's Day was one of the most special. My DH is unwell but still dragged himself out with the little ones (who can't get to a shop by themselves!) to pick out some token gifts and helped them make cards. I said not to worry but he said that he doesn't want to show them that it's ever OK to ignore things like this. (And he is kind and thoughtful all of the time, not just on holiday days!) So many women are treated like crap and these men model this behaviour for their kids too. Go and do something nice for yourself and make sure he knows how let down you are.

Lots of us do - I had card and present ready to go. Shame DC isn’t here today though - but it’s the thought that counts, right? 😅

Exactly. I think I spent my first Mother’s Day thinking ‘God, I MADE A PERSON!’ while small baby DS grumped.

There will be plenty of these threads on MN today. Selfish, useless men who can’t even pop to the supermarket for a card and a bunch of daffs.

Is he like this with other areas in your life?

Oh that's really shit of him! No, you're not his mum but you are the mother of his child! Does he think you never deserve a Mother's Day card or gift until your child can independently go to a shop and buy you something with their own money? He's a twat.

Has he always been like this or is it since you had your baby?

And so the cycle continues of fathers modelling crap parenting.
Showing boys that they should not appreciate women. Showing them never to show feelings of love and support.
Then these same men moan about how women support each other and why is it all about women, what about the menz.
Modelling to girls that they, and they alone must take on all aspects of caring and nurture.
Then they are surprised when the divorce hits them.

My first Mother’s Day was like this, but at least when DH realised it would have been nice to do something, he apologised and did what he could the rest of the day, rather than doubling down. It was a good lesson in communicating expectations.

Assuming your DH is generally a nice chap and this is just a case of mismatched assumptions, I wouldn’t do tit for tat on Father’s Day. I’d lead by example- do a card and make a nice lunch or whatever you think is the right level of effort.

OTOH, if this is just the latest in a long line of thoughtless occurrences, you have bigger problems than Mother’s Day.

What happened for Father's Day? He should be replicating similar so can't feign not knowing or pull the "you're not my mother card". Definitely go out on your own if you want to.

Against the general consensus it's ridiculous to expect cards and presents for all occasions from babies..... It's a nonsense if you think about it rationally. Wait until they get older then you get all the stuff they make at school, which you are obliged to keep, until you can surreptitiously chuck it. (I have zero sentimentality). When they are older you will get fab presents. My DD's now buy all my presents, and from DH too, to give to me, so I always get what I want 😁

I would be so upset if I was in your position, you have every right to be annoyed by this.

I was up at 6am prepping my own mothers day dinner. DP woke up no idea what day it was then had a look of dread and dressed our toddler and ran out the house with him - I presume to get me a gift...!

The moral of the story is men can be useless.. but once you bought it up he should have either apologised or gone and got you something.
DP doesn't get it and says its all just commercial dribble but he understands its important to me so makes an effort.

You have the right to feel disappointed 100%. Go out for a walk - go get yourself something as a treat. A coffee and cake, a new top etc. You deserve it and happy mothers day you fantasic woman!! Xx

You have bigger issues. He doesnt value you.

are you married?

It isnt from the baby. It is from the husband acknowledging the role his wife now has and being thankful for it. How odd to think it is from a baby.

Thus is why mothers day falls before fathers day. Don't acknowledge fathers day and see how he feels about it 🤷‍♀️

So he recently watched you go through labour, and give birth to his child, and can't be bothered to do even a small thing to show how much he admires and appreciates you for that?

Sorry OP but I wouldn't be having any more children with this man.

Slow hand clap for the poster who never expected a baby to buy cards and has now subconsciously passed the message to her daughters that gift giving is a womans work. And so the cycle continues.

That's what I did! Had a lovely 3 hour walk and brunch in the park cafe. Bliss. Honestly sometimes it's better to create your own reality..