cod's tips for idle parenting day one

[FluffyMummy123]

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Brill thread. I did the ' up all night' this morning, and have been told to take it easy today. He he.

As for faking children's handwriting, well of course! Faking the artwork is fun too.

I love the 'artwork' stuck on cards one. I must remember that. Recycling.

To my shame, I have done the 'Mumsnet is very hard work' one. 'Shhhh, why don't you go away and play with xxxx, I need to concentrate on my 'work'!'

Mine are 2 yrs apart with the same birthday and only a week before Christmas, so I must be good at this idle parenting lark! Tisn't as easy as it sounds...but I do get away with having just the one party DH is not allowed near me in March now

Turkey, that is brilliant! Definately one I am gonna use!

I also do the 'do you want Mummy or Daddy to bath you?" Well he is away from Mon to Fri most weeks so it is his turn as far as I am concerned!

Turn yourself into a shite cook (if you're not already) and create very dull and boring food that they don't much like. At the same time (crucial, this bit) make sure DH is good at it. When they ask what's for tea, look vague. They'll soon give up on you and go straight to him! Result!

fantastic - ever since we decided to have children we said we would let them 'enjoy' the joys of washing-up, sweeping-up, making beds etc.

it works accompanied by pocket money - now we just give them £1 at the end of the week!

get a dog. hours of free entertainment for baby ds jumping on longsuffering dog's head/pulling its tail/slamming satisfyingly noisy door on puppy cage etc, plus you never have to clean up under highchair after meals again.
dog of correct height (labrador is ideal) also serves as useful walker for pulling up on, first steps etc while you sit on sofa reading grazia instead of all that walking around bent double holding onto hands of staggering baby. later in life, dog can be pressed into 'playing vets', dressed up in dcs' clothes, etc.
note: only works as a laboursaving device if you make dh walk damn dog