cod's tips for idle parenting day one

[FluffyMummy123]

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In fact, if you ban your dc from touching the mop/brush/washing machine for a while it will suddenly become the most interesting thing ever discovered and you can have half an hour's rest while they do the housework while thinking they've got away with murder.

Ensure your dcs have scooters, bikes, heelies or the latest fad such as poi-pois, so that now the evenings are lighter, they are dead keen to go and 'play out'.

Mine usually will then only re-appear at mealtimes (I leave a jug of drink in the front garden to avoid the 'I'm thirsty' whinging)

lurrvin these tips

i just told dd's school that I couldn't possibly help with the milk rota as I had a meeting. It was a vital and, I must say, most fulfilling meeting between me and a pastry in Cafe Nero.

(By the way - most of mine are in jest.. but I really DO fling carrier bags containing stinky nappies out of the upstairs window in general direction of bin when DS poos at night. Sadly, they sometimes land beside back door, and next person who goes out of it next morning is greeting by SQUELCH! )

Stop thinking of your garden as a thing of beauty and start seeing it as a very large playpen - gets you hours off while your dc 'weeds' perfectly good plants and drowns others in endless litres of water.

I this thread!

Brainwash convince your DCs - from an early age- that housework chores are actually really fun exciting games.

That way you will end up with a 5 yr old who sort washing, oputs loads in the machine and puts machine on, hoovers, dusts, and pairs up socks every weekend while you MN.

Also train them into using the dvd player and nagivating to the cbebies website on thier own, allowing you to have uninterupted lie-ins on the weekend.

i am the parrent of over indulged only child I must admit to doing mega fun things after school etc for years
No wonder ds is so popular!

If you want a lie in but your kids always whine that thay are hungry and want breakfast, fill bowls with cereal the night before, cover with a plate, and put a small jug of milk in the frigde. Then they can get their own breakfast, and then hopefully spend two hours on cbeebies website leaving you to sleep till 11am! bliss

When they are little, and want you to play tea-parties, lego, make-believe etc., say "Oh yes, lets play" and be incredibly enthusiastic and fun for about 5 minutes, then slink away...they carry on playing by themselves for quite a while after, not bothering if you have gone. Works best with 2 or more siblings.

If you want a lie in leave out minipackets of cereal to be eaten out of the packet and minicartons of fruit juice the night before. They can eaven eat this in front of telly with no mess.

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Persuade children that the cat/dog will like the person who feeds it everyday best. They will fight over the job, and you need never do it again.

Make it your MISSION to get your child diagnoised with ADHD (whether they have it or not.. give them lots of Smarties/Coke etc on days they are due to be assessed.) Don't give up until you have a diagnosis.

Then strive to get high rate DLA.. give up work and live off it.

Get kids into 'cleaning games' I get the fronts of my kitchen cupboards done each week this way as both madly spray and scrub in race to be first to the oven (in middle) and winner of the chocoloate biscuit.

this has worked for weeks now.

Get them very interested in the idea of (indoor) picnics. Ok, it's more packed lunches to make but at weekends and holidays you don't have to stump up lunch every day - bring out the packed lunch and give them a tablecloth to stick on the floor - fun for the dc, more rest or MN'ing for you, little washing up and they might eat more without nagging

Rotate the toys. Hide your child's favourite toys in a box and bring the box out the night before you would like a lie-in.

not sure about that one chocolaterockinghorse...!

I like playing hide and seek, you hide under the duvet like any fule no, they do not find you for ages and you can have a sly nap

An idoor picnic is even better in a popup tent, as you clean up afterwards by picking it up and pouring crumbs etc into the garden!

I like it EEC!

Swedes - I do that Also make sure there are lots of small plastic figure type toys so they spend ages rummaging through them.

(Rest assured it was a joke OliveOil - couldn't resist in light of recent threds )

ok, phew!

lol at magazine!
In the same vein - tell your children from an early age that you are clever enough to listen to them read and also read your own book at the same time. This is especially useful in KS2 when they are on long boring chapter books and you have to sign their home/school diaries saying that you have heard them read.