cod's tips for idle parenting day one

[FluffyMummy123]

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LOL no, but I taught her well.

I once babysat for a friend's 2 year old. I had to change the nappy and the 2 year old flung it, in a nappy sack, down the stairs in the direction of the bin. (that is what her parents do!)

Friend is lovely, but likes to keep up appearances and was

Only let them eat white chocolate. Brown chocolate you're obliged to clean up.

Put a step next to the cot for eldest child to climb in to amuse baby in the morning...

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have twins (or triplets). one pregnancy, childbirth just once and instant playmates. plus, you never have to have sex with dh again. bargain!

Squiffy, I always do your first suggestion

And 'Oh god, dd3 was up 4 times last night, I need a nap'

He would never know

hold your horses on volunteering to go on school trips with your child's class .. eventually they will go to the cinema or theatre which is far easier than an art gallery tour

1. Roll of old wallpaper pinned to the garden fence.
2. Pots of paint, brushes, sponges etc. for the child/children
3. Sunlounger, glass of wine, Penny Vincenzi for you
4. DH will tidy up the carnage when he gets in, as you have been 'creative' all day with the kids (throw wine glass, novel and sunbed in the shed prior to his return)

This is not idle parenting. It's energy efficient.

Oh thank god it isn't just me with the "I was up with him 4 times last night"... I do wonder if DH does the same to me though and we are just lying to each other about how much sleep we get

I did have a people carrier friend, but she went and got one that now doesn't fit my children

I have been ignoring my children to read this, and have now realised it is time to collect DH, and DS is wearing a tutu

Whisper would you like Daddy to dress/feed/play with/bath you? in and excited tone and then shout "He/She wants you to do it?" DH never says no to his kids because he works such long hours and doesnt see a lot of them. He does anything they ask .

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Boarding school children rarely want to go for sleepovers.

I dot hat too. I also do it if I can't be arsed cooking and just whisper pizza hut or Happy meal into dd's ear.

Or host sleepovers.

Pretend games are ok to join in as long as you choose them wisely. Take now for example dd and ds 1 are bringing me 3 course plastic meals which I just have to pretend to take a bite out of saying 'mm,thanks' and selling me Charlie and Lola books for which I just thank them and continue mn'ing.

Say " I can't read you another Mr Men/little Miss book,because they're shite Daddy looks forward to it all day long and you don't want to make Daddy sad, do you?"

Me too Ledodgy also when DS wants eggs for tea he either has Mummys eggs - boiled, or Daddys eggs - poached and more importantly cooked by Daddy. So when tea time comes I whisper "Daddys eggs" to him and off he runs to ask Daddy.