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Parenting

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Original poster

Do moms generally prefer/love their daughters over than their sons?

131 replies

Mummyof2wonderfulgirls · 12/02/2024 08:03

I know the title of this thread is gonna sound a bit ridiculous but just hear me out. A couple of months back I saw a post on a mom group on Facebook related to Gender disappointment. It was about a women wanting to abort her baby because it was a boy. This women already had 2 girls. The comment section was filled with sympathy for this women which is fine as we don't know her in real life and she might have some trauma related to men. But as she kept posting more on that group it became clear she was an anti male and a narcissist. Even though some voiced their opinion against abortion the vast majority supported her as they also suffered from GD due to having boys .

It seems like vast majority of the women I've met always seem to Prefer their daughter/daughters over their boys. Not just in real life but also on the internet(e.g. Social media, Blogs, Forums). All the gender Disappointment post on the internet seem to be about boys on every social media(Facebook, Instagram) site or general website (Netmums , Mumsnet, Reddit). There are websites like ingender and genderdreaming just dedicated to Gender disappointment. Not just GD related posts only but some of them are straight out Boy bashing or anti boy posts. This would be fine if those women only talked about adult men but some of this posts/Threads specifically target Little boys from Newborns to Preteens.

Now it's not a crime wanting a daughter. In fact as women it's completely natural to want girls. But what about sons? are they consolation prize to their moms? Does having a penis mean that child is a lesser part of you? The way some of them talk about their boys is as if they were talking about their step children. Does anyone remember the show "8 boys and wanting a girl" ? It was quite tragic as all 4 women had sons just trying to have a girl. There was also a episode on One Born Every Minute where a women was trying for a girl and finally had one. Even celebrity moms like Britney Spears, Melissa Joan Hart, Gwen Stefani all go on about wanting girls.

Now like i said earlier it's fine to want a girl. But it seems like for some women it becomes an obsession. If you look at all the 4 combination of parent child relationship, Mom son bond seems to be the one that's barely talked about or appreciated. I read somewhere that this is due to moms wanting a brighter future for their girls compared to their boys. If this keeps up how on earth are boys gonna have close bond with their moms? I personally found this quite sad.

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birdglasspen2 · 12/02/2024 15:40

What nonsense. I have 3 sons I love more than anything and wouldn’t change any of them.

Sunnnybunny72 · 12/02/2024 15:45

My friends who have sons and daughters all have their social media profile picture of themselves with their daughter, of any age.
Not a single one pictured with their son.
PIL favours SIL over DH. Quite markedly.
I have two boys and would have liked a girl at one point, but what time has taught me now they're grown is that for them, having a sibling of the same gender close in age has been absolutely the best outcome.

Thedance · 12/02/2024 15:47

I have make and female children and male and female grandchildren. They are all individuals and I love them all equally. Their sex isn't important

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Families

Cdoc · 12/02/2024 16:16

I am very very close to my mum, and always thought I would love a daughter to hopefully replicate that relationship one day. I have an 11m old boy and I absolutely adore him, I now couldn’t imagine not having a boy and he is the best thing in my whole world. I wasn’t disappointed when we found out his sex. We had had a mmc before him and were just absolutely over the moon to be having a baby

Inkythemouse · 12/02/2024 16:55

I have 2 boys and a girl. My girl is definitely harder work than the boys. I have a different relationship with all 3 but I certainly don't love or favour one over the others.
I don't understand how anyone can be disappointed with a baby. They're part of you no matter what gender they are

InAPickle12345 · 12/02/2024 18:00

I never even thought too much about what I was having, honestly didn't have a hope or preference for a boy or a girl. At about 6 months I 'knew' I was having a boy, just knew it. And he was a boy and he is the absolute light of my life. I love everything about being a boy mom. While I won't be having any more children, if I did, I would want them to be boys... I wouldn't know what to do with a girl 😂

The whole area of gender disappointment to me is just a bit off and I really hate that it's usually Mums disappointed at having a boy. Sure, maybe a moment of slight disappointment internally if you'd envisaged having a girl but, with the amount of people who struggle to conceive, people should just be damn happy their baby is healthy.

SuffolkUnicorn · 12/02/2024 18:03

My mother prefers the sons

Nix99 · 12/02/2024 18:38

I have a DD, 2.8 and DS, 3 months. Even though DS has only been in our lives for a short time, I love them both equally and enjoy spending time with them individually as well as together.

TheBraves · 12/02/2024 18:56

My mum has always seemed to favour my brother, she seems to think males are superior to females. 🙄 She was a terrible parent in every way and I don’t have any contact with her now.

I had a son first and I never really thought about his sex. He was just my baby and the love I felt was overwhelming. Then I had our daughter and felt exactly the same.

On mumsnet, there often seems to be a preference for girls but not IRL in my circle of friends.

bombastix · 12/02/2024 19:06

I think the evidence used to be that mothers favoured sons, fed them and cared for them more than daughters. Certainly the basis of jokes in the past - might be changing now that daughters can have careers and support themselves. You have to remember that not long ago an unmarried daughter at home was a liability unless she could earn, or got married so that they were taken off their parents hands.

theprincessthepea · 12/02/2024 19:28

I think culture has so much to do with this too. I love having a girl and am expecting a boy and although I felt weird about it I’m excited to have a son. I know that there are many good men and I’ve known many good boys too. My thinking came from not being around men.

I come from a culture where there is a lot of hardship for girls and sadly some of the cultural thinking is passed on through tradition. There is an obsession for daughters to marry and there is a relaxed way to bring up sons and in the long run it’s damaging. I have found that people prefer boys to girls based on my experience. However I think all of the trash talk about boys is skewing how we internalise the sex of children and we are seeing more people obsessed with having a mini-me over raising the personality they land with.

It’s sad as raising good people regardless of their sex should be on every parents priority list. It’s a shame if a parents trauma or skewed view about a certain sex affects how they raise their children. Im not surprised you are seeing this.