Do moms generally prefer/love their daughters over than their sons?

[Mummyof2wonderfulgirls]

I know the title of this thread is gonna sound a bit ridiculous but just hear me out. A couple of months back I saw a post on a mom group on Facebook related to Gender disappointment. It was about a women wanting to abort her baby because it was a boy. This women already had 2 girls. The comment section was filled with sympathy for this women which is fine as we don't know her in real life and she might have some trauma related to men. But as she kept posting more on that group it became clear she was an anti male and a narcissist. Even though some voiced their opinion against abortion the vast majority supported her as they also suffered from GD due to having boys .

It seems like vast majority of the women I've met always seem to Prefer their daughter/daughters over their boys. Not just in real life but also on the internet(e.g. Social media, Blogs, Forums). All the gender Disappointment post on the internet seem to be about boys on every social media(Facebook, Instagram) site or general website (Netmums , Mumsnet, Reddit). There are websites like ingender and genderdreaming just dedicated to Gender disappointment. Not just GD related posts only but some of them are straight out Boy bashing or anti boy posts. This would be fine if those women only talked about adult men but some of this posts/Threads specifically target Little boys from Newborns to Preteens.

Now it's not a crime wanting a daughter. In fact as women it's completely natural to want girls. But what about sons? are they consolation prize to their moms? Does having a penis mean that child is a lesser part of you? The way some of them talk about their boys is as if they were talking about their step children. Does anyone remember the show "8 boys and wanting a girl" ? It was quite tragic as all 4 women had sons just trying to have a girl. There was also a episode on One Born Every Minute where a women was trying for a girl and finally had one. Even celebrity moms like Britney Spears, Melissa Joan Hart, Gwen Stefani all go on about wanting girls.

Now like i said earlier it's fine to want a girl. But it seems like for some women it becomes an obsession. If you look at all the 4 combination of parent child relationship, Mom son bond seems to be the one that's barely talked about or appreciated. I read somewhere that this is due to moms wanting a brighter future for their girls compared to their boys. If this keeps up how on earth are boys gonna have close bond with their moms? I personally found this quite sad.

Equal but different, as we have different relationships.

A woman who'd abort solely due to the sex of her child isn't fit to have a child of any variety.

Well you're always going to find extreme views on a gender (actually sex) disappointment FB page. In real life, no,I don't think women prefer their daughters. I have a ds and a dd and love them both equally. I strongly suspect that women who have stereotyped views of what boys and girls are supposedly like, and who desperately want a girl so that they can dress them up like a Barbie, are more likely to feel the way you describe.

Yes, I absolutely agree with this. I think it's notable that a lot of the things that make baby girls preferred in the UK - the idea that they're more compliant, less physical, more likely to take on caring roles, more interested in clothes and appearance - are the exact stereotypes that often hold adult women back. Baby girls absolutely are preferred in the UK currently (I have had multiple, very unwanted, consolations on my two boys) but it isn't doing them any favours longer-term.

I must be weird then if it's only natural a woman would want a girl. I pictured myself with 3 boys and that is what I have. As men they are extremely caring and protective of me even though I'm very independent.

My mother was the opposite, spent my childhood telling me she never wanted a girl, and it reflected in her treatment of my brothers and I. I went NC but she also favouritises her grandson over her granddaughters as well.

I had absolutely no preference at all, and I have boys and girls.

I do feel for people with gender disappointment, it's not something I understand, in the same way I can't fully understand lots of mental health issues that I've never had, but there has to be something deeper going on there.

I think it varies. I'm a much wanted daughter, but I'm not the daughter my parents or grandparents wanted.

I have a female friend with three brothers. At a wedding she was introduced to someone who said, "I didn't know your mum had a girl", her mum only talks about 'her boys'.

So I think it depends on the family and on the expectations of some parents.

To everyone, just to be clear when I said "It's natural for women to want girls" what I meant was it's usually the women who have preference prefer to have girls compared to boys like men want boys over girls for stereotypical and shallow reasons . Which isn't a bad thing. It's only those who obsess over it come of as anti male. Which I find is a problem.

You’ve gone to a lot of trouble to research this if you’ve read multiple posts on Netmums. Mumsnet Reddit FB pages and blogposts. My experience is that boys are the golden balls of the family and I know more than one woman still cleaning and ironing for their middle aged sons despite knocking on the door of 80. So no I don’t agree

But those women approaching 80 presumably had their children in the 70s. I do think there's been a big shift towards preferring girl children in recent decades, though I don't think this has been at all to the benefit of teenage girls or women.

2 boys twin girls and adore every one of them

I only have one child at the moment and he’s a little boy. I know I couldn’t possibly ever love any child more than him, regardless of their gender. I would imagine most mothers feel exactly the same. Of course you will have a select few who want girls to the point that they don’t love their sons as much. This is very sad and unfortunately these people just aren’t fit to be parents at all. It’s likely any children they have will have miserable childhoods. The boys because they feel unwanted and the girls because they constantly have gender stereotypes pushed on them.

IME exactly the opposite, women favour their sons.

Nonsense.

It's not like I have just seen GD related posts this year. The first time I noticed this was way back in 2012. So yeah, in the span of 12 years what I've been seeing occasionally. Before that I always assumed moms prefer boys(Which I also though was wrong ). I'm not saying boy preference is any better. The point of this post was to say people who have gender preference seem to look down upon undesired gender kids. I know even that happens very rarely. But it's sad that some people only have kids so they can fulfill their own fantasy.

I’ve just seen this sex reveal video from a couple years back. They have 6 boys and the wife was pregnant with their 7th.

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGeBsfanP/

I also think that one of the reasons that people want baby girls but are harder on their adult daughters is that they have much higher expectations of women in terms of time devoted to and closeness to their parents (particularly their mothers), etc. Which is why their adult son can deign to show up and they're delighted, but their daughter gets told that her hair doesn't look nice like that as she's doing their entire weekly shop and clean for them.

This is very strange to me as my parents come from a culture that prizes boys over girls. I was born and raised in the UK, so I find that preference annoying and misogynistic.

When I was pregnant, my parents had the gall to tell me they were disappointed I was having a girl. They've since hassled me to get pregnant again saying my family won't be complete without a boy 😡

We are trying again and I will be happy with a healthy baby of either sex, but a part of me wants to have another girl just to spite them...

I don't agree that as a woman, it's natural to want a girl. In fact, that boggles my mind as to why some would think that...

In all honesty I don't fully understand gender disappointment, I would query how much a thing it actually is compared to people thinking they want certain traits for their child which they see as more typical to a girl or boy.

I have one boy and he's absolutely enough, not because he's a boy and a boy was what I always wanted but because his personality is just brilliant and he fills me with joy. I appreciate there are lots of parents who want much bigger families than me for lots of reasons. However, I can't understand the reason for 'chasing' a particular gender. They're all individual little people at the end of the day regardless of their gender.

Try coming from an Irish family. Girls are nothing but a disappointment to their mothers. Boys on the other hand can do no wrong.

I was a little bit the other way round. I imagined myself as a mum to boys and if I’m honest, had a slight preference for boys. My first was a girl and my second was a boy. I love them equally (obviously).

I have sons. Couldnt possibly love anyone more and am delighted with them.

But i do have two hang ups. One is the fear the boys will be conscripted to the front line. It was one of my first thoughts when i had a second boy. Yes i know its odd.

the other is, when you are pregnant with daughter, she forms all the eggs that might one day be your grandchild so you carry your grandchild in a bit of a topsy turvy way. I sort of feel i broke a long line of female ancestors. I have sons so this line of egg growing has ended. Boys just make new sperm all the time.

I think the idea of having a preference when pregnant holds water. Mothers wanting a daughter and men wanting a son is fairly natural I think. Having a mini-me to bond with and share interests with is perfectly understandable. But once the child is here I don't think loving one over the other applies. In fact, if anything I see mother's doting on their sons more often.

Your second statement doesn't make much sense. That's literally like saying your sons aren't related to you genetically as you are with your daughter. You share the same DNA, It's not like your daughters kids will inherit anymore Genes from you than the kids your sons have.

I have both. I have more anxiety about raising a girl and how to protect her as well as I possibly can but that is down to my own history of being sexually assaulted as a teen so I recognise that is my own problem to work through.

I love them both equally although I can admit here in anonymity that my son is easier to parent but that is down to their personalities not their sex. He is also the child that likes quiet games, playing kitchens and dressing up and vets and doing arts and crafts. DD loves loud noisy games and sports. Both were raised the same. If I had wanted a stereotypical girl and boy I'd have been disappointed I'm sure! Best not to have expectations of your child before they develop their own personality, they are all different.