Do moms generally prefer/love their daughters over than their sons?

[Mummyof2wonderfulgirls]

I know the title of this thread is gonna sound a bit ridiculous but just hear me out. A couple of months back I saw a post on a mom group on Facebook related to Gender disappointment. It was about a women wanting to abort her baby because it was a boy. This women already had 2 girls. The comment section was filled with sympathy for this women which is fine as we don't know her in real life and she might have some trauma related to men. But as she kept posting more on that group it became clear she was an anti male and a narcissist. Even though some voiced their opinion against abortion the vast majority supported her as they also suffered from GD due to having boys .

It seems like vast majority of the women I've met always seem to Prefer their daughter/daughters over their boys. Not just in real life but also on the internet(e.g. Social media, Blogs, Forums). All the gender Disappointment post on the internet seem to be about boys on every social media(Facebook, Instagram) site or general website (Netmums , Mumsnet, Reddit). There are websites like ingender and genderdreaming just dedicated to Gender disappointment. Not just GD related posts only but some of them are straight out Boy bashing or anti boy posts. This would be fine if those women only talked about adult men but some of this posts/Threads specifically target Little boys from Newborns to Preteens.

Now it's not a crime wanting a daughter. In fact as women it's completely natural to want girls. But what about sons? are they consolation prize to their moms? Does having a penis mean that child is a lesser part of you? The way some of them talk about their boys is as if they were talking about their step children. Does anyone remember the show "8 boys and wanting a girl" ? It was quite tragic as all 4 women had sons just trying to have a girl. There was also a episode on One Born Every Minute where a women was trying for a girl and finally had one. Even celebrity moms like Britney Spears, Melissa Joan Hart, Gwen Stefani all go on about wanting girls.

Now like i said earlier it's fine to want a girl. But it seems like for some women it becomes an obsession. If you look at all the 4 combination of parent child relationship, Mom son bond seems to be the one that's barely talked about or appreciated. I read somewhere that this is due to moms wanting a brighter future for their girls compared to their boys. If this keeps up how on earth are boys gonna have close bond with their moms? I personally found this quite sad.

I think posters have made it clear here as to why some women would want a girl- they have more in common as adults, women may want to call their parents more, spend time with them shopping and having cake.

I have two sons. I hope that they want to see me when they are adults, but it’s only a hope. Their life is up to them.

Blueskies3 · Today 11:12

I think posters have made it clear here as to why some women would want a girl- they have more in common as adults, women may want to call their parents more, spend time with them shopping and having cake”

Our adult son loves a rummage round the charities and a cake 😁
Our adult daughter has more in common with her dad, I think.

I have 3 adult DC. Eldest a DD then 2 x DS's. I love them all equally but my youngest son is most loving toward me, then elder son then DD. We all get on well and meet up often but if I'm really unwell eg in hospital my youngest son rings me every day to check how I am, elder son every other day and DD just rings once as week as normal.

I know lots of men who still see their parents but it's more of a catching up session than having their lives intertwined. My own mum is dead but all my female friends seem to spend the majority of their time with their mums. Now my dc are teens I can see how this happens.

I'm currently trying to indoctrinate my (very small) boys into the idea that a trip out for cake with mum is one of life's biggest pleasures 😀

In reality, I think it's quite a lot about women being instilled with a sense of duty about taking care of people that men aren't burdened with, and also a bit about shared interests, which are more likely, though not certain, to overlap by gender. I spend a lot less time with my parents than my brother does in part because I'm the only one who isn't into and doesn't go to watch football matches - my mum is the biggest fan of the three, and so her and my brother will happily go with or without my dad. DH and his mum have similar tastes in music and theatre and so go together quite often - much more so than I do with my mum. I will concede that this is less common than the reverse, though.

My DH is very involved with his parents. They only live round the corner and he sees them several times a week and often helps them out with things or does them favours. I think this is largely because he is naturally a nurturing type and regards family as really important. Also his brother is pretty useless and selfish so I think DH feels a sense of duty to look after his parents. I don’t know if that would have been different if there had also been a sister in the picture. Sadly my folks are no longer around but I’d have been spending a fair bit of time with them if they were still here (though probably less time than DH spends with his folks).

I have both. Still very little though so I can’t comment in terms of my own experience of raising them through to adulthood and beyond yet.

I think the girl obsession has picked up in recent years due to the Insta/cutesy fashion culture. Girls names are frillier and prettier, pink frilly clothes, those silly headbands, baby ballet. It’s all much more aesthetically pleasing than greys and greens, dinosaurs, cars and all the rest of it.

When I was little in the early 90s girls and boys clothes were interchangeable, mainly rompers or dungarees in primary colours. Girls tended to have short practice haircuts, usually a short bob with a fringe. There was less tat to buy and much less pink tat. It wasn’t really the fashion to dress little girls like dolls. And parents kept their kids babylike for a shorter time anyway, there wasn’t this ‘awww still my little girl’ mindset.

Given we live in an online/Influencer age, I think that’s part of it.

I do think there is some truth that adult female children have a more caring and involved nature toward elderly parents, but I don’t think that sway as anywhere near as strong as people think. DP is far closer to his mum than I am to mine.

I have to be honest I’m suspicious of those posts where a poster swears they weren’t trying for a girl after 3 or 4 boys, but had one and then just so happened to stop there ‘because I only ever wanted 4/5 children’. Hmmmm

I very much wanted a girl while pregnant the first time but of course I love them all equally - they are all amazing and different.

I do notice that I have far higher expectations of my girls. I have no idea why. I also consider whether colours and clothes suit them or not and don’t think this way with my sons clothes.

I’m conscious of the above but it must be something so deeply engrained in me - as I want to treat them equally.

I know it's ridiculous but this was one of the (many, mostly much weightier and much more influential in actually making the decision!) of my cons for having a third child - I hated the idea of people thinking that we were just 'going again to try for a girl' and I really hated how congratulatory people would be if we did have a girl. I got a lot of comments about how much people were hoping DS2 would be a girl before we found out we was a boy and they all really annoyed me, especially the idiots who said it in front of DS1.

I have a friend who always says things like ‘girls are like this’ or ‘boys do this’ it irritates me so much. I guess if you think like this, then you might have a firm view on the type of child you want.

@Globetrote "Sorry to be snobby but I’d seriously doubt the intelligence of the women who actively engage in Facebook group like this, particularly those who encourage another woman to have a termination"

Agreed! Ghastly, vacuous women.

I have one of each, very close in age, I had absolutely no preference as to the sex of my children.

Interestingly, I'm one of five (3 f, 2 m, I'm slap-bang in the middle), three of us have children, my older sister who has children has three boys, my younger brother who has children has three girls.

Again, I'm slap-bang in the middle with my pair.

They seem very happy with their children, as am I, my relationship with my children is based on them as individuals, not their sex. They are very different people, but I'd be hard-pressed to attribute their personalities to their gametes, genitalia, and endocrine systems.

Sex-based preferences are societietally driven and deserve push-back.

I can't think of any good reason why I'd have preferred a child of either sex.

I understand that people have 'reasons', but drill down, they're not 'good' reasons and involve expectations upon unborn children relating to nothing but their sex.

When I had my 2nd son so many people said "ahh shame it's not a girl" and when pregnant with my 3rd everyone assumed were trying for a girl and "praying" for us. It really enraged me and I would correct people, I wanted a healthy baby whatever the gender.
When no3 was a girl I'd get "you must be so relieved" 🥴
I am no closer to my girl than boys. They're all amazing.
The only bonus is I just get to do really fancy hairstyles on her, which I enjoy! 😂

BUT my MiL openly says her daughter is her favourite and that she's wishes my husband (Dc2) was her, so she "didn't have to have 3"!

I must say you've chosen a very provocative username and subject matter for your first post on Mumsnet @Mummyof2wonderfulgirls .

When you've done whatever you are up to on Mumsnet I suggest you remove yourself from that nasty sounding Facebook Group and report it to FB for encouraging abortion. It's American owned so doubt it's one of the things they'll tolerate.

I hadn’t noticed the username. For some reason I assumed OP had a mix, or none, or boys. Now it feels a bit ‘voyeuristically encouraging others to share their private desires while knowing I have what they want’, doesn’t it?

I have boys & girls. I love them all but I get on best with one of the boys, he’s 19. He’s just a very easy person to be with. My girls are hard work sometimes. I find it bizarre that there are gender disappointment groups. I could have had 10 boys and not been disappointed. Or 10 girls!

I can’t quite imagine being that bothered that I would terminate ! I would say there’s some serious issues going off there

I’ve got a daughter who is amazing and we are super close - even work together , she’s now 22

I also now have a 5 year old son who is the most lovely little boy, such fun and so loving

i feel it’s very sad to have such gender disappointment tbh

I am currently pregnant with a boy. I commented on page 1 and 2 on how I am anticipating on meeting my son and that I am just as excited like I was with my girls. I choose the username cause I only have girls currently. But i can see why it may confuse some people. I probably should have mentioned that in my OP. and I have left the group. It's filled with anti male posts. It's shocking how Grown women can have such poor perception of male children. It's quite sad.

I have 3 sons and a daughter and of course love them all equally. I honestly cannot comprehend the negativity around sons.

My brother is the favourite child. So, my experience is different.

My mother only wanted boys, so that was my experience.

I always remember my mum saying she was glad she had 3 boys rather than 3 girls. I always feel she favours them over me but I always think it's more they're needy mum's boys who like her paying for everything.

I chose not to find out what we were having, partly because I didn't want to buy too much beforehand and partly because I didn't care which.

Yup this is how I feel too. I cant believe someone would have an abortion because the baby was the wrong sex!

I only have 1, a boy. From when I found out I was pregnant I wanted a boy so would had the reverse gender disappointment. I really did not want a girl.