When can I let my toddler walk on pavement during outings?

[ChanSmell86]

Hi guys first time mum here with a lovely 21 (soon to be 22 month) old daughter. She has been a very capable walker now for nearly a year. My question is how do I transition to sometimes letting her out of her pram to walk when we are in public? Should I start off in a safe place in public like a park? What kind of age should I entertain this? I don't know if I'll ever be a reins kind of mum? But yeah I've got absolutely no idea how you transition? I would always bring the pram and slowly increase the time she is allowed out of it. She's such a Diddy bean still in 9 to 12 month clothes but I'm only 5ft1 so holding her hand isn't as hard as it was when she was much much shorter. Thanks in advance for any advice

And yes I did edit to be ruder.

Come on "regional" that was ridiculous.

Competitive? I did hold hands with my child at two if he was walking as he liked to hold my hand. However, walking is not any less safe than when a child is on a balance bike or scooter and I didn't hold hands for that. So I don't find it particularly odd as long as a child follows directions and holds hands to cross the road.

Reread the thread. It's you who have (extremely rudely) tried to put me down, and not the other way around.

I've criticised no one, only described my own observations of families near me and experiences of my own. You've used sarcasm first and then downright insult "smugfest".

I posted on the first page, I haven't commented on your parenting at all.

If we took the buggy ds had a rule he had to stand on the side away from traffic and hold onto the buggy. Pavements anywhere near roads he had to walk near us and/or hold hands.

Really depends on the flavour of toddler you have what you do. If you have a runner insist on holding hands when anywhere near roads. If you have one that still tires easily and you like longer walks take the buggy for a little longer and let them out when safe as long as they will stay close enough for you to react.

Absolutely some parenting trends can be regional. In the country my mum lives in, they sterilise pretty much everything a child touches up to the age of 3, and think we are shockingly reckless not to do that here. I'm observing this without any moral judgement on either side and certainly not smugly.

Honestly I think, rereading your posts, the smugness is all on the other side. You are "amused" by me. That sounds a little smug, no?

Really depends on the flavour of toddler you have what you do.

Exactly, they are all different.

There's no rule that all two year olds should wear reins or no three year olds should, or a non-napping two year old needs a buggy because a napping three year old does. There's no right or wrong way and there is no competition.

I did say the exception is if you have multiple toddlers to look after at once, or if the kid has SEN that means they can't understand this particular instruction.

Do you think toddlers all get a perfect diagnosis at 18 months? Lucky you thinking that.

IRL DD didn't get her diagnosis until well after we put the reins away.

Reins give you a lot of reassurance. I gave mine freedom to walk on pavements quite early on because I had the security of knowing I could gather them in if necessary. Hasn’t impeded independence in either of them.

No I don't think you'd need an official diagnosis to get a feel for whether your own child understands the dangers of the road.

My list of exceptions wasn't exhaustive. Some children are more boisterous than others, I wouldn't want to pathologise that. But I do think, based on my observations, that a majority of kids from around 2 onwards can understand a rule like "never leave the pavement". Before that age one can hold hands if one prefers not to use reins.

Of course anyone can use reins. I never said reins were wrong or harmful. I just said I thought they weren't necessary in most cases, in my opinion. Just like (say) sterilising everything arguably isn't necessary beyond 6 months, but many parents prefer to.

I can see you disagree with my opinion and that's ok, that's mumsnet, not everyone agrees and that's fine.

Ps @MrsTerryPratchett I think we are actually in agreement. Your dd needed reins: as her mum you knew her and you knew she needed them. She turned out to have SEN, which may possibly have contributed to her need of reins. That's what I meant in my original comment.

@Mumoftwo1312 she's still only 3.5.

look up impulse control.

youve been lucky so far, doesn't mean it's safe!!

you don't have to use reins IF your child will hold your hand near roads/in carparks etc.

thinking toddlers understand cars/roads & you don't need to hold their hands/use reins etc is just mad.

My daughter does not have SEN but at 2/3 and even 4 I did not trust her road safety. One day she ran full pelt across a road. Luckily it was a quiet road. She wore reins until she was nearly four as I could not trust her. I suspect actually most toddlers do need reins. There was not a chance she would have listened to stop or played the games you do with yours. They might behave all obedient but have that moment of just running and not listening to you. Purely luck nothing untoward has happened to your child.

I agree. I wouldn't be relaxed on road safety until about six when they will mostly listen (SEN aside).

She is young enough that if she was running with a friend she would get distracted and not pay attention though
Honestly I think you are a little complacent.

Why would it be regional? You either have a docile toddler or a Duracell bunny.

I would definitely use the reins if you are not able to sprint after your child. I’d never take my toddler on a pavement unless I had free hands snd appropriate shoes to put in a shirt run if he tries to bolt. I’d also not push the pushchair if he was walking as that also limits your ability to keep up with them on pavements if they start running. Sometimes my LB was great at holding my hand but sometimes he’d want to walk independently.

When I see people with reins, they're often long enough for the toddler to get onto the road anyway. So they're not a substitute for vigilance and explaining to the child about the road.

I'm not telling anyone not to use reins. I'm just saying we never needed them, most families I know never needed them, and in my opinion most children don't need them.

I have to say I agree with this. I just don’t see reins in the wild if you like except occasionally on very young unsteady babies. I’m definitely not saying don’t use them, just that there’s a difference between MN where everyone uses them and RL where no one does!

Hahahahhaha!! As predicted hilarious.
Reins on children who are stable (but toddlers and trip and run) is normal.
If you don't use reins that's totally fine! If you chose/choose to reins, that's totally fine!

The end.

@WithACatLikeTread

the age for greater impulse control is more like 8, especially when the situation suddenly presents itself. Better control if they have time to think about it.

something exciting across the road v don't eat this sweet & you can have 2 in 5 minutes.

How are you getting on op? X

@ChanSmell86 some of these replies are mental. Like your DD is never allowed out of the pram 🤣

Wtf gets rid of their pram when their baby is 18 months old??!! Particularly when OP has said she walks everywhere and gets trams etc.

So what, baby takes first steps oh well no pram anymore? Of course there will be lots of occasions when the pram is still needed.

OP if she's happy in the pram on outings then I'd stick with that as long as possible. Much safer than walking next to a road.

Sorry I'm another one who is astonished you have never let them have a little toddle on the way to park or whatever , it's good fun especially when it coincides with snowfall or spring flowers bursting through . Oh here we go I'm getting all sentimental , it was a long time ago .

@ChanSmell86 I once had to chase after a toddler, before it ran out into the road round Markst square. Mum and get friend were on their phones and oblivious. I'm
Also from Nottingham, and I would definitely use reins. As someone said, open spaces surrounded by very busy roads in the city centre.

Waves at everyone from Nottingham!