When can I let my toddler walk on pavement during outings?

[ChanSmell86]

Hi guys first time mum here with a lovely 21 (soon to be 22 month) old daughter. She has been a very capable walker now for nearly a year. My question is how do I transition to sometimes letting her out of her pram to walk when we are in public? Should I start off in a safe place in public like a park? What kind of age should I entertain this? I don't know if I'll ever be a reins kind of mum? But yeah I've got absolutely no idea how you transition? I would always bring the pram and slowly increase the time she is allowed out of it. She's such a Diddy bean still in 9 to 12 month clothes but I'm only 5ft1 so holding her hand isn't as hard as it was when she was much much shorter. Thanks in advance for any advice

I used reins. They were brilliant.

As soon as she was confidently walking she should have been walking in public with you. You need to get them used to it young and then they know to be sensible around roads etc.

We got rid of the pushchair entirely when my first was only a couple of months older than your little one - and she was prem and tiny; still in 6 - 9 month clothes when she was walking.

Don’t let her being small hold her back.

Just brought some let's see how we get on thanks for everyone that had some constructive to say

Reins, reins, reins.

DD was a confident walker around 11 months old but we really started to let her walk around properly around 13/14 months. She had reins because when we’d hold her hand, she’d let go and make a dash for it. She’s 2 and a half and has ASD so she’s always in the buggy now. She won’t walk for the life of her, just sits on the floor and refuses to walk!

The reins that you strap to your wrist and your child’s wrist are really good. That way you can still get them to hold your hand and encourage safety whilst they have some independence. Don’t worry about some comments, it is a parenting advice after all. This should be the best place to come too for advice but some people can’t help themselves.

You’ve purchased some reins now so enjoy having walks with DD outside

Her being small doesn't hold me back because I'm small too when she was smaller holding her hand was crippling I'm very overweight and got spd from my pregnancy which hasn't gone yet so when I would hold her hand to take her to bed (I didn't want to carry her to help teach her at bedtime she needs to go get in bed) it would kill my back being hunched over but now she's abit taller I mean don't get me wrong I can't stand bolt upright holding her hand but it's not as bad. Honestly I can't say enough it never occurred to me to start walking her the minute she's walking. I don't really even notice very young children in public and everyone knows how much people love to give you unwarranted parenting advice no ones ever said to me she should be walking outside and when I did ask people no ones ever said what you've all said like I said earlier makes me worried what else I'm doing wrong because it wasn't glaringly obvious

My sister worked in a nursery for like 8 years and she's never said anything she never let's her walk anywhere too so I just went along what I saw others doing the youngest kid I've seen walking independently is 3 and that's the friend who said she admitted she did it late.

Do you take her to baby groups or have play dates with other children her age like from nursery? With my first DC I didn’t know things like that either but followed what all the other mums with similar age DC were doing.

Not everyone’s got their own ‘village’ to go too for support. OP said that she asked her mum and even went on Google for advice. She’s now made it onto a parenting forum to speak with other parents and ask. What’s wrong with that?

Reaching out to old classmates just because two people from 20 years ago now have children? That’s quite unrealistic. You also don’t know the context of the conversation between the OP and woman on the train. I highly doubt the OP said, ‘hi stranger on the train. Here’s my DD. Do you think she’s old enough to walk outside yet?’

It’d be great if everyone had this big network of support to lean on when it comes to raising their children but unfortunately, not everyone is lucky enough to have that

We used to go to a playgroup that you have to be invited to but it ended at a year I take her to the church which has a playgroup on a thursday but that's inside so she's not in her pram there. I hadn't asked this question there maybe if I had I would have know earlier. My neices and nephews range from 17 to 6 is the youngest. My friends daughter is 4 n my cousins youngest is 4 too. I've have a few school friends with young daughters and we've said we should get together n then it doesn't happen need to pull my finger out n make it happen

God, what a fucking pile on.

Yes, OP, most people would have had their children walking in public places before now, but it isn't a huge deal, you simply didn't know.

Don't worry about it, you have a plan to get walking with her from now on, which is great. Also wonderful that you are doing a lot of walking in general to lose weight, that's a fantastic decision that will benefit you both!

I will come back tomorrow n let those whod like to know how it went!

Stop answering to strangers on the internet. Don’t ever question your ability as a mum, none of us know you and I imagine you’re brilliant. My little one is almost the same age as yours and we only started walks without the pram after Christmas. It is entirely dependent on where you live, what you spend your time doing and how comfortable you feel. No one can make that decision for you. I use reins because it makes me feel more confident, some choose not to. Don’t care either way as long as my little girl is happy, which she is!

As far as I am aware as a 35yo woman no one has ever asked me when my parents started taking me for independent walks without a pram 🥱

I went with if I couldn't think of a reason not to do it I did it with all parenting things, when my child was younger

I can't think of one reason not to allow a walking child to walk where they walked so they walked where they walked

Thanks :) I'm normally very thick skinned but nothing will bring you to your knees quicker than something that could affect your child's health safety or development. If those little rascals only knew how much power they held lol

We still use the buggy with our 2 year old. We walk too far for too long to be without it, and he still has naps in it. But when we are out and about we ask him if he'd like to walk, or he tells us. He has to hold our hand if we are near a road. Bought some reins but he had a tantrum when we tried so we've never used them!

Yeah I'm bringing the buggy as a non driver everything is done on foot and I walk quite far so if she's had enough I'd like to have the option of somewhere to put her as carrying is out of the question

Glad you've bOught some. Hope you enjoy your walking together now! You won't have hindered her at all. You sound a very caring Mum.

Since you specifically asked about other things and mentioned nappies, have you started trying your potty train? Most that I know seem to do this starting between 18 and 24 months (although nappies at night for longer with some).

Mine started walking bit by bit on pavements as soon as they started walking (10mo for my youngest, 13mo for my eldest), but we kept the buggy with us when we went out anyway, because of the amount of walking we do. If you walk and use PT most places (which it sounds like, as you mention a tram), I'd suggest you do the same. Throwing the buggy away at 18mo is usually for people who drive everywhere IME.

I have very healthy and active 12 and 9 year olds. When they were about 21 months, although I’d let them toddle around in parks etc. it wasn’t really suitable or practical to walk them on the pavement with me. I would do it if the road was really quiet and I had plenty of time and the purpose of being out was for a walk but if I was trying to get from A to B in a reasonable time then a buggy would be used.

It’s entirely normal for you to mostly still use the pushchair at this age. You sound like you’re doing fine, don’t doubt yourself.

Re reins, both mine hated them, my son used to sit down if I put them on!

No but that's my next job I watched a few YouTube videos as again that was something my mum has forgotten all about and I saw that 22 months was a good point to start she's 22 months on the 13th so going to try. I was thinking of doing the intensive 3 day method I've seen and if that doesn't work try where you just keep putting them on potty (she has a wicked potty it looks like a toilet and even makes a flush noise) and rewarding when she signals she needs to go and when she does go? Fingers crossed it goes OK

I don’t think it is a strange question.

If OP doesn’t drive then she will need a pushchair as her little girl won’t be able to walk far, and managing a pushchair and holding onto a slow toddler is tricky. Reins can help but to be honest a lot of children just refuse them and you can have that if you don’t wear reins you go in the pushchair argument until kingdom come but children this age (and older!) really don’t respond to reason. DS liked his little life backpack for five minutes until he realised he was on a lead and that was that. Fortunately they were a £5 FB marketplace purchase (from a woman whose son also refused them!) not new!

We didn’t use the pushchair much after about 2, but I drive so it was just a question of walking from a car park to a park or similar. Otherwise I can see the problem especially if you’re navigating busy streets.

How you describe it was how I thought it was which why the comments saying I'm bizarre n afraid etc were quite shocking! I actually live near the main ring road so I will not be letting her walk on that til I've seen how she reacts and if she listens. But the road that leads to the tram stop is perfect. I will work my way up to the ring road but take every opportunity that comes to us

Only on MN have I ever heard of buggies being binned off at 18 months. They are still very much needed for the majority up until 3 or 4 - long distance, getting to appointments on time, and the important one for me - naps!

Same for potty training. Yes they might start to get familiar with a potty but it isn't 'the norm' to be properly potty training before around 2.5.

I got the reins from vinted so only spent £4.50 and then I ordered from amazon a wrist one thats on like an old school telephone cord. The wrist one will help me with my back more than anything I'll be able to stand up straight fingers crossed she doesn't hate them