When can I let my toddler walk on pavement during outings?

[ChanSmell86]

Hi guys first time mum here with a lovely 21 (soon to be 22 month) old daughter. She has been a very capable walker now for nearly a year. My question is how do I transition to sometimes letting her out of her pram to walk when we are in public? Should I start off in a safe place in public like a park? What kind of age should I entertain this? I don't know if I'll ever be a reins kind of mum? But yeah I've got absolutely no idea how you transition? I would always bring the pram and slowly increase the time she is allowed out of it. She's such a Diddy bean still in 9 to 12 month clothes but I'm only 5ft1 so holding her hand isn't as hard as it was when she was much much shorter. Thanks in advance for any advice

I find it the other way! Nearly every time someone posts about a child refusing to go somewhere or not complying perfectly with a request you get ‘strap him into the buggy’ as if it’s a given everyone with a child aged under 5 routinely takes a pushchair everywhere! I always assumed it was because a lot of posters are London based as I can totally see that if you don’t drive you’d need one. We live in quite a remote place and need to drive even if going for a walk, if that makes sense, and it wouldn’t occur to me to take a pushchair if I was going from a car park to a park or a group or soft play.

I wasnt fazed by those saying bin the buggy as a walker that's actively trying to lose weight I would not expect my daughter to walk the 2 miles to swimming swim with me for a hour than walk back. She falls asleep the second we leave. I won't be getting rid of the buggy for a good while yet

Totally agree re potty training, most children I know are between 2.5 - 3.5. We’re still really struggling and DS was 3 in December. I hear girls are easier and I hope that holds true as DS is slowly destroying my sanity.

My 13 month old walks the school run twice a day. When I say it’s time for school she fetches her shoes for me to put on. She loves it. It takes 3 times as long now though as she likes to stop and touch things!!

Is your child ready? Ask yourself:

Can your child walk to and sit on a toilet?
Can your child pull down his or her pants and pull them up again?
Can your child stay dry for up to two hours?
Can your child understand and follow basic directions?
Can your child communicate when he or she needs to go?
Does your child seem interested in using the toilet or wearing "big-kid" underwear?

Apparently it's not about age it's developmental milestones she definitely isn't all of these things yet she can follow a few instructions but not many. I don't think she could communicate how to go (the video I watched the mum would ask her child tell mommy when you need to go potty) my daughter would absolutely not be able to do that. I'm gonna start sewing the seeds in preparation but definitely not gonna sweat her not being ready yet

Ignore all the fucking rude comments OP.

Does no one remember learning things for the first time? Not being sure about something that seems obvious to you now?

Your baby is fine, don't worry needlessly about her development!
You don't know what you don't know.

Now you do, have fun walking!

Remember eyes in the back of your head :)
Reins are a great idea.

Also ignore people saying I binned the buggy at 3 days 😂

Lots of people still use buggy's at 3 or even 4, especially if you don't drive and walk everywhere. So helpful for shopping and naps!

This was my experience too, except we used reins when they started walking on pavements. I know the city centre you're talking about...a mix of wide open spaces, then busy streets and the risk of traffic, buses and the tram lines. I would have used reins up to around age 3 there as just too many distractions..people, food carts...pigeons. It's hard for excited toddlers to know when to stop.

I've never heard anyone say they wish they hadn't used reins on their toddler. But I have witnessed some absolutely terrifying near-misses of toddlers and traffic....one in the Market Square, close to the tram stops. So just pace yourself. Parks and playgrounds to start with, then quiet residential paths and footpaths. Build up to city centre streets, starting with reins. Then just holding hands at 3-4 or even 4+.

Good luck!

OP you sound like a lovely Mum, your daughter has been running around in the park and places you know she's safe. Her development will be absolutely not be damaged from not walking on pavements 😳 Definitely give her a try tomorrow, but there's nothing wrong with a mixed approach of a bit of walking and a bit of buggy, she's not even two, that's perfectly normal!

Hi there, just wanted to offer you some support as it sounds like you're doing great. I'm so sorry, some of the posters on here are so rude. There does seem to be an issue with this on mumsnet at the moment and it isn't as supportive as it should be. Especially the first replies usually.

I completely understand why your daughter is not walking independently on pavements etc. I live in a suburban area, wide footpaths, woodlands, off-road paths and so of course my children walked these routes without buggies young. I took them to London age 2.5 and 4 and we definitely needed the buggy for the 2.5 year old. He wanted to walk and did lots, but I couldn't relax as the pavements were busy with everyone walking fast. It's not about you being nervous, it's about risk and you weigh it up for the lifestyle you have and environment you're in. Nottingham is a very busy city. You're doing great.

One of my children has learning difficulties. We practised as a game in a park, him running and me saying "stop"or "come back" or traffic lights game emg. "Red" meabt stop. Traffic-free places like national trust, zoos, farms, parks are all great to practise walking (and listening!). Walking holding your hand etc. Also, with busy lives I learned to slow down. My 2.5 year old walked with me every day to nursery, holding my hand (must say, 2 years later he became a rubbish walker when he started school as lost fitness!). It took ages! So again, these kind of things are doable if you have the time. Just it's of praise and making it into a game. I realise I was lucky as didn't work full-time.

But basically, be really proud of yourself. Ignore some of the weirdos on here and sounds like you're a lovely Mummy. Hope you meet some lovely nearby mummys on your trips and then you'll find you just notice what they're doing to copy/ ask them. Best of luck to you!

my LO is 18mons and we go on walks in our neighborhood. I never let her walk in the street, but I do let her walk on the sidewalk. I’m always, always within arms reach of her.

We live a five minute walk away from a lovely private college with beautiful grounds (like a park) and a pond. We let our LO walk in this setting nearly everyday.

Thanks I'm in basford so Nottingham Road is near mine which is such a dangerous road so would not feel comfortable with her near it. I am gonna get off the tram tomorrow at lace Market n walk to Victoria swimming baths so I'll let her walk til we get to the subway (food shop) then it'll be pram n once I'm on sneinton market I'll let her walk again just make sure no skateboarders get her! My reins won't arrive by then but once I have them I'll see how we go and if she listens n behaves well I might walk with her to Vernon park or down the canal! Glad you know Notts so you know the kind of obstacles I'm facing

I would do it whenever and wherever you feel comfortable and like you have enough hands to manage. You could try reins initially, if she will wear them.
don’t feel bad asking - all depends on the type of area/how busy etc. we have a lot of heavy traffic passing through our town and I definitely don’t always feel happy with my children walking when they’re small in case they break away for a second.

When my eldest was small we kept the buggy till he was 2.5, ditched by time 2nd child was 18 months. The biggest difference is we got a car. Buggies are fantastic when you have a decent walk and need to carry, changebag, shopping plus tired child. Definitely get reins, your back will thank you. Bending down to hold small child’s hand is awful for your spine.

Don’t feel pressure here either Op. Most people I know actually started it at 2. My boy and a few of my friends’ boys are still struggling with training at 3. Don’t worry about this :)

We never did all this we just stuck a potty in the bathroom and left our chid to it, they worked it out when they wanted to go

Hi op, I’m also originally from Nottingham :)

I would say try not to overthink these things. Try holding hamd first and if that doesn’t work, then reigns will be handy. It’s fine to take the pram out for the first few times as a backup but you may find you don’t need it after that and your hands can be freed up.

You can always talk to your Health Visitors if you’re unsure about anything, and if you’d like more friends with young kids, have you tried the peanut app? It’s specifically to meet other local mums.

Reigns were a godsend for our son. Granted we now know he has additional needs but he had (and still doesn't) have any awareness of danger, he would dash off. He likes to jump and skip which he uses to regulate and he finds holding hands hard to do this. It allowed us to get out and be more confident in his safety. He also hated the buggy by the time he was about 14 months so that was a battle every time!! But we kept it until he was about 3 as he got tired, plus there are some places he just had to be in it! I started small, small walks around our estate, then built up. I also don't drive so was reliant on public transport. It will get easier it is daunting the first few times and you need eyes everywhere! Good luck

Sorry I think your response is quite odd and discouraging. The point is about MAKING a village. I have moved to 5 different locations as an adult where I didn’t know anyone and you find ways to meet new people.

The school friends isn’t an unrealistic idea either. I could quite easily reach out to mine on fb.

Hi no not tried peanut yet she should be going nursery in Sept so I will be able to meet lots of new mums. I'm actually quite antisocial lol before anyone jumps down my neck about that I absolutely am confident talking to others, love my friends and family but I prefer my own company (apart from my daughter) Having my daughter at 35 means I lived a certain way for a long time n those habits are ingrained into me but I want my daughter to thrive so I will absolutely be chatting with mums at nursery and I'm hoping to make some good friends and step away from my antisocialness lol. I have always said I wannabe the mum that all the kids come round to. I want her to have friends over n to come on holiday with us etc I can't wait til she goes school and has her first best friend or crush ❤️ we've got so many amazingly things to look forward to

I didn't take offence I knew what the person meant when she said reach out to school friends I was meant to be going to a friends on Xmas eve but she cancelled on me because of a family member being unwell not really spoke since so gonna reach out n then I have another friend. I have a cousin with 5 kids but I couldn't go round her house because she had a huge Japanese Anita x German shepherd that was really territorial and scary n neither of us felt comfortable so not been able to but he's been put to sleep bless him so I can start going to hers her youngest is 4 but her 2 girls are older but they love my daughter so they will be ideal. I actually have a mate whose daughter is 8 months younger than mine n I keep saying we need to meet so they can grow up together but you say it n it doesn't happen lol. I've had a very hard time I put on 6st when I had her ended up giving birth at 20st never been above 16 before that so it was so hard on me. The pain I was in was excruciating. But I've had a gastric sleeve and have a new lease of life so we will be doing so much this year! We go softplay, park and swimming but I want to do so much more. I am happy to talk to people so I bet by next year I'll have loads of new friends. I'm finally living again and it feels good.

My son is 3.5 years. I still have a pram. He doesn’t use one day to day, and can walk miles or cycle now, but I often still take it out on long days out so he can walk 90% of the time and rest if needed. If it’s a busy road area or if he’s unwell but I need to go out I will still use it.
He’s currently ill with tonsillitis and feeling crap, but with the pram I can walk him up through the local woods today for some fresh air whilst he tests or naps.

Toilet training. Trained at 2 years exactly. Ds couldn’t talk either at that age, and couldn’t pull own trousers up and down but trained fine. He’s been using toilets at nursery daily since 2.3 years and the teacher helps little ones with trousers or on and off toilet as needed. So I think that list is ott.

My little one was walking on the pavement at about a year. Usually in the park or on walks round the block. We use backpack reins. I still feel more comfortable with her having them on at just turned 3 when we're in busy places or I have the baby with me too.

Be prepared today for her to take forever to walk anywhere. She will want to explore everything and touch everything. Particularly if she isn't used to being free to explore she might be quite resistive to you moving her on, so be prepared for the journey taking 3-4times as long and don't take it as her 'not behaving'. She doesn't know how to behave in that situation, she's still just learning.

Love your idea of playing games I'll definitely try implementing that ❤️ thanks for your kind words

@Mumoftwo1312

thats dangerous nonsense. At 2 she might 'know' to stop before crossing the road etc, but they have little to no impulse control. If she sees someone/something across the road she will just run across the road.

2 year olds don't 'understand' cars & roads.

FMD

Hope you have a great day out! My baby days are long behind me and I haven't been to Victoria Baths for years! But your comment about the skateboarders around there made me laugh out loud......definitely have to swipe her out of the way!