When can I let my toddler walk on pavement during outings?

[ChanSmell86]

Hi guys first time mum here with a lovely 21 (soon to be 22 month) old daughter. She has been a very capable walker now for nearly a year. My question is how do I transition to sometimes letting her out of her pram to walk when we are in public? Should I start off in a safe place in public like a park? What kind of age should I entertain this? I don't know if I'll ever be a reins kind of mum? But yeah I've got absolutely no idea how you transition? I would always bring the pram and slowly increase the time she is allowed out of it. She's such a Diddy bean still in 9 to 12 month clothes but I'm only 5ft1 so holding her hand isn't as hard as it was when she was much much shorter. Thanks in advance for any advice

I accept that DD was very unusual. And has ADHD so naps were a mythical beast out of the house. She's a very good walker. Noticeably better than her peers.

OP are you seriously calling your 2 year old ignorant? Get a grip.

Ignorant as a word is used differently. It should mean unknowing. But lots of people use it to mean stupid. And then more people use it to mean oblivious or cheeky. I assume OP is using it that way. It's just a cultural thing in some cases.

I was never a huge fan of reins either, but then my tornado of a 22 month old showed me a few months ago they are actually not too bad. We got him one-off the backpack ones. Tiny wee toddler backpack with straps and a clip to keep the straps together, rein part cab be clipped off and on as you need and it's actually quite handy, can fit a nappy, snack and a toy in it (careful of weight though), we just chuck it under the buggy and use it as needed. Maybe that might be helpful (also saves carrying a nappy bag too so bonus!) ? Loads of different kinds too. Like this one... Best of luck and happy walking @ChanSmell86

Toddler backpack with reins

Hi OP, if you are in Nottingham you could try the Victoria Centre or the Exchange for DD to practise walking - slightly less scary and hectic than open street pavements. Definitely get reins or a wrist strap though - it's amazing how fast they can move on those little legs once they get confident!

I'm so sorry OP, there's a lot of unpleasant people around today.
You're going to give it a go now, so that'll be great for you both although welcome to the new and exciting world of sprinting through the park after her and taking 2 hours to walk to the local shop, exploring every pebble and leaf on the way.
Nobody knows it all and you haven't done anything wrong at all...there's just a few people on here who like to make others feel small.

@MissMelanieH I agree...I read some of the posts and I was shocked at how mean some of the responses were.
OP, my DD only really started walking when she was about 16/17 months old. When out and about, I would have the buggy with me so she could go in there and have a sleep if she needed it but if she wanted out and it was a safe open space for her, I would let her wander around.

I'm also a FTM and no friends or family in the same situation nearby ie no mum friends to share ideas and worries with!

I just tend to think back to my own childhood, chat to my mum and husband and google/mumsnet if I need advice.

I also observe other parents when we're out and about (to a degree).

My little boy was a late walker at 16 months but as soon as he could walk, he ran everywhere (still does at 3!)

I found ways of managing our life so he didn't need the pushchair very much. For example, we'd go for a good walk all around our town (with reins on - we had the backpack ones) and then when I needed to do some shopping, he'd sit in the trolley, with a snack.

It takes a lot of time and patience to teach a runner who doesn't listen (perfectly normal at that age) but we're now in a place where he automatically reaches for my hand when we get near a road, listens really well when I ask him to walk and is generally much easier. We stopped using our pushchair at about 2.5 but we had barely used it for a long time before then.

Good luck, you'll be fine!

God no. I would miss the basket of the pram. Hopefully my son will use it until three. 🤣

It should be fine. I presume you will but please use reins. There are some lovely backpack ones. I see too many little ones without them and the parents don't even keep an eye on them near busy roads.

Personally my nearly two year old doesn't get a lot of chance to walk on pavements because I am either hurrying to talk my eldest to school, hurrying to collect her or walking distances to toddler groups. He does get to play in playgrounds though. I think second children probably have to suck up and sit in the pushchair if you don't drive. I am buying some reins for more freedom though. Also the pavements have rubbish or glass so not exactly a nice thing for a toddler.

You do you. My dd is now 3.5 so it didn't do her any harm.

She's not unique: none of her nursery classmates ever used reins either. We often saw her classmates walking to nursery too.

When I see people with reins, they're often long enough for the toddler to get onto the road anyway. So they're not a substitute for vigilance and explaining to the child about the road.

I'm not telling anyone not to use reins. I'm just saying we never needed them, most families I know never needed them, and in my opinion most children don't need them. I did say the exception is if you have multiple toddlers to look after at once, or if the kid has SEN that means they can't understand this particular instruction.

My little granddaughter was happy to have a tiny rucksack shaped like an tortoise which also has a strap attached. I will try and get her little sister who has also just started walking to use it.just felt safer to me.

How very splendid for you that you didn't need reins.

Lots of people do. I needed them for one of my children.

I don't fall into any of your "exceptions". Maybe I am just lazy and incompetent.

Another word on reins. My sister-in-law gave me a pair along with other baby and small child things when my daughter was born. I was reluctant to use them once she started walking at about 14 months, because I didn't like the idea of her movement being restricted. However, I revised my opinion when she was about two, realising that she needed to be safe from traffic when walking in the city centre. Not only did she never object to the reins, she once asked for them to be put on even when she was safe around traffic without them - behaviour I would never have anticipated! You might be similarly surprised.

Yes bully for you @Mumoftwo1312 and you sound positively reckless with child safety. Absolutely no sane ,caring parent would let their child walk by the side of a road,not holding their hand . Children get distracted,clumsy and impulsive at that age . Buggy,hold hand or reins at all times in dangerous areas !

We didn't need them either, and our childminder only used them for a child with additional needs when she stopped using the buggy to contain him. The youngest was in a buggy and the other children would hold on to the buggy or the next child's hand, all connected in a group. DS wouldn't have just run across the road if he saw something at two, that may be the case for some children but not all.

LOL you'd never have known if I'd used reins. We used them by water mostly. So by canals or harbours etc on weekends. Not entirely sure why you're 100% sure not a single child or sibling ever wore reins at the nursery???

I haven't called anyone lazy or incompetent! If you feel your child needs them, that makes sense for you to use them, everyone knows their own child best.

I know my child, you know yours. Is that so hard to agree with?

My dd's nursery staff were also telling me, before dd turned 2, "she really can walk all the way here now".

I knew dd wouldn't run into the road because she could explain to me that it was dangerous. We'd seen roadkill and discussed that. And so on. Now she's 3 we play games like, race you along the pavement to the next crossing, and wait there. She understands rules, and leaving the pavement without holding hands is a blanket rule we never break.

As I say, her nursery classmates behave the same as her, so she's not unique. Nor am I uniquely "reckless" as another pp accuses me. Maybe it's regional? Reins are never really seen where I live.

But every child is different. Your child is different to mine. I never called anyone lazy or incompetent.

We had one too. But there was definitely a painful time when she walked along with the BB slower than without and then getting her to go the distance took time. I wasn't going to be carrying a 2yo and a balance bike and the shopping haha. She generally walked as far as she could,then got in buggy, or when it got busy she was strapped in etc. some streets are bustling and I didn't like the idea of her getting lost or anything.

We used balance bike more as she got older, now she uses pedal bike.

Don't remember using a pushchair much past 18 months. She walked everywhere with me just held my hand at all times unless being told she could go and run off

Lol "Regional"

Is there no limit to your competitive rein smugfest?

I'm sorry I've made you so angry/defensive. It wasn't my intention to offend anyone. I'll stop justifying my parenting decisions now, as you're interpreting it as competitiveness or judgement on my part. In my view, all the judgement is going the other way. Carry on judging me if you like

Ah I've seen you've edited to be ruder. There's no need for that. "Smugfest" is really unjustifiably rude.

I am not judging you.

I am amused by you. You don't need to justify your parenting decisions any more than anyone else. You also don't need to validate your parenting decisions by putting down others.