When can I let my toddler walk on pavement during outings?

[ChanSmell86]

Hi guys first time mum here with a lovely 21 (soon to be 22 month) old daughter. She has been a very capable walker now for nearly a year. My question is how do I transition to sometimes letting her out of her pram to walk when we are in public? Should I start off in a safe place in public like a park? What kind of age should I entertain this? I don't know if I'll ever be a reins kind of mum? But yeah I've got absolutely no idea how you transition? I would always bring the pram and slowly increase the time she is allowed out of it. She's such a Diddy bean still in 9 to 12 month clothes but I'm only 5ft1 so holding her hand isn't as hard as it was when she was much much shorter. Thanks in advance for any advice

Months ago! Reins are your friend here. Better to be safe

Agree - the reason we don't cycle that particular journey is that DS has been on a pedal bike since 3.5 and he's much too fast for me on foot now, especially as I'm pregnant! So right now we mainly stick to trail cycling. There was a sweet spot around 3 when the balance bike was perfect though - and no doubt it will be different again in 6 months.

I had a little backpack for mine that had reins attached, I let them walk with me on pavements, to the shops, park etc with their bags on and I could prevent any sudden dashes in the road by hauling them back.

As PP said, give yourself a lot more time than you think to get anywhere, we studied many weeds and flowers on walls very intently, it was excruciating.

Some days on the school run I wish I still had them 😂

Bless you, it is so hard being a first time mum and knowing what to do! My DD is 2, started walking at 11 months, confidently by 13 months, and we still use the pram a lot. If we are going to the park I will always take it with us because we live uphill from the park so there is no way she would be able to walk back after walking there, running around, and playing. We also go to a lot of NT properties and I always let her walk there but will have the pram just in case, or occasionally I will take my baby carrier (she's also on the smaller side so still fits in it fine), because the couple of times I haven't had a back up and my DD has got tired I've had to carry her without a carrier and although she is small it's obviously not great on your back! I also work full time so as bad as it sounds I don't have the time to walk her to nursery in the morning at her pace, so I will walk some of the way then pram the rest of the way. It all depends on where you live and your circumstances! Like others have said you sound like a lovely mum who is doing their best.

We used reins a bit (child ran into road once, fortunately a quiet road with no traffic at the time) and tried to get our child to walk keeping a hand on their buggy, easier sometimes than holding their hand. You keep your child on the side away from the road.

As for potty training - easier in summer when you can run about in garden or park without a nappy. Some of the children whose mothers proudly boasted they were dry early were still having accidents and/or wetting the bed at 5.

Before she starts school you want to train her to dress and undress herself. She may not be able to manage laces then. You can encourage her manual dexterity with things like sorting toys, jigsaws and latter on lace cards or a dressing up toy like this https://www.amazon.co.uk/Playskool-Classic-Dressy-Toddlers-Exclusive/dp/B083ZRZF7Q/ref=asc_df_B083ZRZF7Q/?tag=googshopuk-21&linkCode=df0&hvadid=463168303852&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=18360044702354269471&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9180678&hvtargid=pla-954692625965&psc=1&mcid=0724497bfa25346c8811ba9c424e2e55

Me too! Both mine flatly refused a pushchair from around 18m so they either walked or I used a carrier when they got tired.

True! Mine is the other way round - never napped in a cot. Only in pram, car or if breastfed to sleep beside me! Our buggy lays back and has a hood that goes all the way over so he can't see much when we cover him over for his nap - otherwise as you say there would be too much to look at!

DD was 14 months when I stopped using the pram, she was horrendous for tantrums for a while so it was stressful sometimes but most of the time she was well behaved. Depends on the kid though, DN was a runner and would bolt the second he could every single time, in which case reins were a saviour.

I'd also like to chime in and say I was in a buggy for a few years! I remember it because it broke when I was in it and probably too heavy to still be using it😄 I was my parents' third and last child so I guess it was convenient for them, I'm not sure (I think I also liked it!). Did it hinder my development? Of course not. In what way would it? I've always enjoyed walking long distance, I'm not overweight. I quickly learnt the rules of being a pedestrian. No lasting negative affects experienced😅

Well can't change the past but as soon as she could walk. You just hold hands and they walk the side away from the road. Please consider some support for your anxiety.

We used reins. They were brilliant and we have two very confident children now who are not scarred or unable to venue away from mum or dad!

DS started on a pedal bike just after 3 so similar. We still kept the balance bike until he was 4 as he was too fast for the pavement and I was worried about cars pulling out of driveways and not seeing him at that speed. It is tricky!

@JDJT You were lucky. “In what way would it?” Don’t be so disingenuous.

There are unfortunately lots of overweight children who don’t want to walk anywhere because they had lazy ass parents.

I am NOT anxious I did not know! Either you didn't read the full thread and are chiming in with your own interpretation of my own mind or you did read it and still decided you know me better than myself. I am not gonna entertain another comment on my anxiety or nervousness because to be quite frank its pissing me off I just didn't know and now I've got some good feedback I know what to do anxiety still not there thank-you

Really, JDJT says she has memories of sitting in a buggy, that's all. I'm sure she did plenty of walking as well.

We don't have a car so took a buggy with us as standard for a long time, and even took it with us on certain types of trips when our kids were 4. Our kids also walked lots, but having a tiny child walking all day without a break at adult speed is a nonstarter when every errand/day out involves a ton of walking. At the risk of repeating myself, my experience is that those who brag about selling their pram when their toddler was tiny are usually people who drive a lot.

@ChanSmell86 You’ve said a lot that people have never mentioned it to you.

Why would they? They see a snapshot of your life.

Why on Earth would they see you with your kid in a pushchair and assume you keep them contained pretty much all the time?

I never said otherwise.

We got rid of the pushchair for ours before she was 2 because she never used it. We don’t have a car. She enjoys walking 🤷‍♀️

If you’re gonna keep your kid contained for years don’t be surprised if they are slow or struggle to walk anywhere at 3/4/5/6.

Ignorant is being used as an adjective to describe her behaviour mummy says put that down doesn't listen, don't touch momars microwave does anyway she ignores 99% of any requests, discipline etc yet doesn't ignore my mum for the same. I know she's testing me I know its because she's comfortable and safe with me I also know it's normal and eventhough she ignores me I percivere but it is still ignorant no matter the cause because she fails to do what she understands I do not tell her she's ignorant though or punish her for it but when talking to an adult about it I certainly will use that word. It matters especially when roads are going to be involved. Hopefully she will be wary of roads but I will be testing her on some quieter ones it would be a death wish to just let her loose on the main ring road near mine even by holding my hand I weigh 17st8 at 5ft1 I do not move fast and I get a mothers strength protecting a child but I am not willing to bet on my reflexes when the wrong move will be life threatening. But absolutely when I get the reigns in a few days

My children and grandchildren were walking along the pavement as soon as they could walk but never when in a hurry as it's a slow process!
But In parks etc though they were out of the buggy as soon as we got in the park from when they were confident on their feet.
I never used reins.
22 months seems very late for them never to have been out of the buggy when out and about. They learn so much and are much more aware of their environment when walking outside.

she fails to do what she understands

You are aware she has no impulse control and won’t for years, yes?

The fact that you are wanting to test it slowly because a wrong move could be life threatening does show a degree of anxiety IMO.

Obviously letting a toddler totally on the loose but a busy road is dangerous, but that's what reigns (or a firm hold of the hand) are for. It's not something to build up to or worry about, just use your common sense.

Then if toddler wants to go in the buggy, she can go in the buggy, if she wants to walk (and you've got time) she can walk. That is likely to go on for a while until she's in it so rarely that it's pointless. Mine would walk in public from around a year but we didn't get rid of the buggy for me first until gone 3 (second is still in it).

One tip is too make sure that you're schools is on the inside of the pavement - that means you (and possibly pushchair) are a block for the road. If she falls, she doesn't fall into the road etc.

I'd sounds to me like you and your toddler are pretty insular. Trying to make friends with kids the same age is really useful because you can see what their kids do and vice versa. I was very confused on whether some things were she appropriate during COVID because I didn't spend time with other kids her age, and it sounds like you are much the same.

Ps: first baby at 35 is pretty normal.

We used a balance bike or scooter for longer distances. The good thing about that is it builds up their stamina for later walking. DS walked miles with the childminder too as she didn't drive and only used a single buggy for the youngest child.

Op I was also thinking how great Wollaton park would be for a good :)