When can I let my toddler walk on pavement during outings?

[ChanSmell86]

Hi guys first time mum here with a lovely 21 (soon to be 22 month) old daughter. She has been a very capable walker now for nearly a year. My question is how do I transition to sometimes letting her out of her pram to walk when we are in public? Should I start off in a safe place in public like a park? What kind of age should I entertain this? I don't know if I'll ever be a reins kind of mum? But yeah I've got absolutely no idea how you transition? I would always bring the pram and slowly increase the time she is allowed out of it. She's such a Diddy bean still in 9 to 12 month clothes but I'm only 5ft1 so holding her hand isn't as hard as it was when she was much much shorter. Thanks in advance for any advice

I know reins are frowned upon but toddlers are quick!
If you're walking along a road I'd feel more confident with reins in case she doesn't hold your hand.
In a safe environment like a fenced off park/ play area let her run free!
Sorry you've had some snarky responses, there's no such thing as a silly question!

Sorry you got so many vipers on your thread early on.

My son is the same age. I try to let him walk as much as possible, holding my hand if a pavement with cars, I’ll pick him up and carry him if a particularly busy or dangerous road, or no hand holding when in a quiet, safe area. Trying to teach him not to go onto the road and he’s starting to understand, he’s generally pretty good at understanding things so obviously this is different for all children, but of course always always be on alert when by a road as children can always be unpredictable.

Our DC was very prem and wasn’t walking without hanging onto the furniture until 19 months. He was in age 2 clothes at 5, so I know about small toddlers.

The important thing is to teach them to walk holding your hand until they are pretty much school age and/or are safely aware. I appreciate there may be different grooves if you have several under 4s.

When our DC was an older toddler we lived in a big US city. Kids were still in their strollers at 4. We had one of those Little Life backpacks with an attached rein. I had to stop using it because it clearly wasn’t something considered acceptable there. To be honest, he was happier holding my hand. I used to get compliments about his advancement because people thought he was younger as he was so tiny.

@ChanSmell86 ooh you are getting a battering.

Walking/reins/buggy - take your child out, let them walk a bit. If they run off, use reins/wrist strap. If you are putt for a long time, or need to get somewhere quickly, use the buggy! I still used it as dd was approaching 4 for a long beach day out.

Nappies - well, you can try at 18 months, but it'll likely take you months. DS was potty trained at 2y 9m, he was ready and I was pg and didn't want 2 in nappies - even then DM was surprised that I was trying to PT a boy before he was 3. Took about 3 weeks. DD on the other hand announced one day when she was 2y 3m "pants today", and was done and dusted, day and nights, weeks and poos in 48 hrs.

Every child is different!

I lived 100s miles away from my family when I had my dc, I didn't know what was what. I had a brilliant HV though, and made friends at parent baby groups. Great for a bit of support, great for having an idea of what the "norm" is for children around the same age as mine. Still the case 15 years later now they're grotty teens.

OP your daughter is not 'ignorant', she's testing the boundaries and you need to parent her. She needs to learn that you are absolutely, at just under 2, the boss of her. This is what will keep her safe.
There are many facilities in Nottingham for parents and families. There's even a mentor scheme. Maybe something like that would be good?
Wollaton Park is as good as a beach to run free- you can be a long way from the road. Get a bus there- she'll love it!

Easy when you have a compliant child, or aren't out numbered etc...

Reins are absolutely fine but equally I don’t like the way they are shoved on here as the only possible solution, as some children really won’t wear them.

What is there other than reins, hands and buggy of some sort?

I'd encourage her to walk as long as you feel it's safe. I live in London and when out and about in a crowded area it was safer for my toddler to be in a pushchair - too many people, too many cars! But if a quiet area he/she walked. I once had to resort to a wrist band/lead thing as I had younger one in pushchair but my toddler not old enough to be sure he wouldn't dart across the street if he saw something interesting.

@wubwubwub well, you named two alternatives there!

I do think many children can be taught to hold hands but I know it’s hard if you do have a bolter (one of my friends does.)

Reins are pushed on here a lot and not always in the way they’re intended - same with pushchairs. I have absolutely no issue with reins at all but they shouldn’t be used to tie children up or physically restrain them in indoor settings and I’ve seen both suggested on here recently which made me I also see reins pushed a lot as a way to get children to leave places which I do think is awful, reins shouldn’t be used to physically drag a child out of somewhere or off something and it could be really dangerous. So I suppose I don’t judge reins as such but if I saw them used in such a way I would.

I don't know about people suggesting that they use them with force. I've only ever seen them suggesting them in the context of keeping kids safe whilst walking near roads and stuff.
I used reins for a bit with my DD(4) when we're like, near canals or harbours with no walls a D stuff. She was a good hand holder, but it meant that I could have the "safety" knowing if she did tug away and bolt, she couldn't get far. It was POM more than anything I think for me.

@ChanSmell86 being a parent is so hard - no matter what we do, someone somewhere will think we're wrong and leave us feeling guilty. If you can, try to find mum friends in real life for some peer support and playdates, it really helps.

DC walked in public pretty much as soon as they could walk. We used reins for a bit but then DC worked out how to get out of them so we just went with holding hands. DC's almost 2 and does country and city walking, including hillwalking. They can usually do a good 1-2 miles before getting a bit tired and wanting a rest. We do still take a stroller with us for if they get tired or if we're going somewhere I know it's a bad idea to have DC on the loose (eg there's a particular shop that gets them inexplicably excited so on the rare occasions we have to go there we may need to use the stroller and a book as distraction if I need a hand free for whatever task I'm in for), but it usually just sits in the car.

If you’d message someone that you went to school with solely because you have children and they have children then that’s great for you. I think that’s weird as fuck and actually quite rude.

When that poster made that comment, OP never said that she didn’t have support anyway. So what that she asked a woman on public transport a question and now she’s on a parenting forum for advice? Again, what’s wrong with that?

Agree with this ! So many of the same comments early on as well.

Also ignore people saying I binned the buggy at 3 days 😂

Yep!

Jeez, some of the early comments were totally unnecessary!
I'm glad you've ordered some reins now @ChanSmell86 and hope your daughter likes them!
Just be prepared for every trip out to take a lonnnng time! Mine used to want to stop and look at/touch everything! It's a great way to encourage their speech though.
Oh and don't rush the potty training until you think your daughter is ready. It's fine having a potty lurking around and to try to encourage it but go at your daughter's pace. All children are different. My DS was trained in about a week, although I stayed in for the whole week and just left him in pants! Tried the same with my daughter but she just wasn't ready. Don't think she was properly trained until she was about 3. It's not a competition and they get there eventually!
You sound like you're a great mum

We used the balance bike for that

There are alternatives, like a sling or a bike

Our childminder had under twos in the buggy, next youngest directly holding onto the buggy.

Use reins. A poster on here lost one of her twins when they were hit by a car after bolting
Not worth the risk

As others have said, the decision of when to ditch the buggy entirely is very dependent on lifestyle. DS is nearly 4 and we still use it to take him to nursery because it's a good 25 minute walk at adult pace and I'd be late for work if I tried to do it at his speed. He walks and cycles plenty, just not when we're under time constraints.

Here (I am sure she won't mind me copying her post)

MrsPresley

I say this a lot but GET REINS!

My DS died after being hit by a car when his dad didn't put his reins on. He was distracted by DD for a few seconds but that's all it takes

I would never want anyone to have the life I or my EX-H have had for the past 28 years, for the sake of a few pounds.

Yes accidents happen, but we can do things to minimise the risk, wont always work but at least we know we did all we could.

I think the individual child makes a big difference too. A 25 minute walk with DS on a balance bike would have taken 20 minutes for us, I struggled to keep up. Luckily he was excellent at waiting at kerbs, it would not have worked with every child.

Finally a response that's bloody common sense!