Leaving 15 year old at home

[yetanotherdaytoday]

Is a sensible 15 year old too young to be at home alone for a night, as a one off?

DH has to take MIL to hospital 300 miles away and I need to be at work in the next town, to run an event, on a day with train strikes. My youngest can go to her friends but I don't have anywhere to send my DS.

DS is suggesting I leave him at home. I'm tempted. I was up to all sorts at his age, he's a good kid and very very sensible in comparison!

I don't drive and therefore wouldn't make it back till breakfast.

If it was a normal day at work I'd just take the day off, but the event can't run without me.

Is it madness to consider this? I'm not sure what else to do. My couple of friends who I could usually call on for favours just can't help that day.

WWYD?

Of course he'll be fine. As long as you've taught him what to do in emergency situations and he's not the type to leave the gas on or leave the back door open and go to bed! I should hope the former has been the well before 15 but a lot of MN posters don't seem to ever teach this to their children and then wonder why they can't cope alone!

Those are just NSPCC guidelines not the law. There's no magic cut off when they reach 16, they don't suddenly turn into fully functioning adults overnight!

Oh my god, I've heard it all now. Your poor children.

Yes. Hence why I said “There’s no law against it…“

Leave him. He will be fine. Liase with the neighbours and tell him where to go in an emergency. I was often alone at fifteen, it develops confidence.

I think leaving a sensible 15 yo, who is happy to be left, for one night is absolutely fine. I did it. Ds survived. It's one of the small steps every kid has to take towards independence.

@Easterdaffsx ignore the people who have expressed horror that you hired someone to be with your kids up to the age of 17. I think you did the right thing. Kids up to that age can be so vulnerable. I know I was.

And many adults hate being home alone let alone kids.

Just inform the neighbours, give DS a ‘bedtime checklist’ for locking up etc, and relax

You have to be joking. You can become a nanny at 18. You can legally live alone at 16. A nanny for a 17 year old isn't a nanny, it's a personal maid, doing tasks that their "charge" is more than capable of. I'm shocked she found someone, most nannies would be appalled at the suggestion.

And no adult should hate being home alone. It is a basic life skill to be able to manage this comfortably.

@mantyzer @MrsSunshine2b

I have read about people on MN who live alone and are afraid on their own at night. I really get where they are coming from. Especially if they are more vulnerable. We can’t control how others feel. And we shouldn’t. It all comes down to personal choice. I am not going to ridicule someone for the choices they make.

And you can call anyone we hire to provide a service for us a servant - cleaning, gardening, cooking - but it’s horrible and insulting.

We always had a live in nanny as both work in the NHS and often called away or delayed coming home. Sorry if some of you find that shocking or joke worthy but it's how we managed a good work life balance for us and our children were safe and happy .
Nanny wasn't 18 either ....nearer 60 amd in family for years ! She was amazing and we all loved her.
She cared mostly for our youngest who is SEN ..... wasn't going to sack her because some of the others were teenagers really was I ?

We were so lucky to have her . She was like a really granny to them all amd no they didn't grow up entitled quite the opposite. I just didn't want them to be latch door children so to speak . They always had someone at home when I couldn't be .
Their nanny supported all the values we believed in and no she didn't pick up after them but complimented us raising them.
One is a doctor now / one a teacher / one still at uni amd one still at home. Not careers that were handed to them on a plate from nanny but obtained through time and hard work.

Just make sure he doesn't tell anyone. You don't want teenagers arriving to throw an impromptu party.

Unlikely - he’s 15 and it’s a school night - said teenagers will have parents who want them home a decent time

This is such a cliche that really doesn't happen in real life! Today's teenagers can't be arsed to go partying - they are all at home on their phones or PlayStations 😆 tongue in cheek but also not.

Of course it happens in real life

It happens.

Teens haven't totally changed to become a homogenous group who hibernate at home every night.

A nanny is a childcare professional. A 17 does not, in any way, require childcare, and in most cases is more than capable of PROVIDING childcare services.

It may seem weird to you and me but I suppose it depends on the young people themselves. I trust that the woman who hired someone to stay with her children knows her own offspring and what they need. And also what she needed for her peace of mind. We can’t dictate to her about that.

@Easterdaffsx that's a drip feed on the 17 yo having a nanny. Really you still had the nanny because of your youngest having SEN.
How old was the youngest when you no longer felt the need for the nanny?

My parents left me for a week at 15 so I may not be best placed to judge 😂😳

Me too, for a long weekend, but it was different times!

In case anyone's interested, I didn't leave him in the end, DD stayed up late with my friend, we got a cab home, work paid. She was absolutely shattered but had a great time hanging out with my friend and her DC.

DS made himself dinner and stared at the computer screen all night, as expected

MIL recovered well from her op.

This thread was useful as I feel much more relaxed about leaving him for a night, now, having thought it though here, should we need to do it again, and I'm sure it'll come up again sooner or later...