Leaving 15 year old at home

[yetanotherdaytoday]

Is a sensible 15 year old too young to be at home alone for a night, as a one off?

DH has to take MIL to hospital 300 miles away and I need to be at work in the next town, to run an event, on a day with train strikes. My youngest can go to her friends but I don't have anywhere to send my DS.

DS is suggesting I leave him at home. I'm tempted. I was up to all sorts at his age, he's a good kid and very very sensible in comparison!

I don't drive and therefore wouldn't make it back till breakfast.

If it was a normal day at work I'd just take the day off, but the event can't run without me.

Is it madness to consider this? I'm not sure what else to do. My couple of friends who I could usually call on for favours just can't help that day.

WWYD?

If he’s a sensible lad and from what you‘ve said about him, I would leave him but I’d let your nice neighbours know, and ask if he could go to them if there was a problem. I’m sure they’d say yes.

I’ve been the nice neighbour, I popped in as prearranged at about 6pm, the boy was quite happy on his own, he’d made his own meal and was on his play station. He had my number and rang me at 10.00pm to say he was going to bed. He got himself up and ready for school and waved on his way to the bus stop.

I wouldn't overnight, no.

Over protective. Totally. At 16 I was in the army. 15 is more than responsible.

I have a very sensible 14 (nearly 15) yr old. Knowing I have good neighbours he could call on if necessary, I think I would feel ok about leaving him overnight and I know he would feel fine about it. He’s usually on the Xbox with his mate down the road so that’s another contact. He’d probably be in bed by 9pm!

This 🤷🏻‍♀️

He's 15. Of course you can, unless there are some medical etc reasons you can't.

He'll love it. Let a friend or two stay over with him.

It's the perfect age to up the independence and responsibility aspects. I'm presuming he has a phone, neighbours can be made aware, you and DH can check in (if you must...).

We suffocate our children without meaning to but we really do. 15 is plenty old enough to be left overnight and it's good for them to have some independence and feel grown up.

Hope you find a solution

Absolutely fine.

Train strikes have been called off now (according to the headlines). Does that effect your decision?

My question to myself/child in question would be this;

IF something goes wrong, there is some sort of emergency.. WILL you go and seek help from the neighbours or will you panic and flap like a headless chicken or freeze up and 'hide'.

If he WILL go and seek help, fine, off you all pop.

If you think he'd not - then hire a car seems the most sensible solution.

Why don’t you ask your employer to pay for a cab? Or even half the fare?

Nanny until 17?! Your poor children. I had my own baby at 15. Everyone is being very dramatic it’s 1 bloody night 🤣

Unless he's generally a bit hopeless, of course he'll be fine!

But why can't he stay with a friend, and why won't your work pay for a taxi home?

I thinks it's not ideal but fine as long as he won't be scared

I would, but also insist on facetime/video call quite a few times to check. Also if the neighbours are friendly and you all get on,(not sure what yours are like but my street we all get on great) pass your phone numbers on.
Have a meal easy to reheat, get things ready for morning.

I would if the child was confident, I could trust them and they had people close by they could contact in an emergency.

.....Have a meal easy to reheat, get things ready for morning.

Why would a fifteen year old with no special needs, need his mother to 'get things ready for morning'? He should be entirely capable of getting ready for morning, and getting himself out of the door on time.

I had my own flat at 16! We infantalise teenagers so much these days and they don’t know how to take care of themselves. How are they going to be ready for the world if we don’t let them to do basic things? I vote yes but I don’t think many will agree

I was left quite often at that age as I was a "sensible" teen. Let's just say kids are good at pretending to be more sensible than they actually are and I did some pretty bad stuff. I think a 1 off night will be fine, maybe don't go away for a week at a time like mine did 😉

I left ds the weekend after he turned 16, and I doubt he was magically more mature than literally a few days before.. I also left him for 6 weeks a few months later (long story) and it might not have been ideal, but he had people around in an emergency, and actually he was fine.
The only thing that would give me pause in your shoes is that it’s potentially sticky legally and if school got wind they might try to raise a safeguarding concern, which could cause you a lot of stress..

It would, yes! But apparently ASLEF are still striking, and when I look at The Trainline for that day, it's still showing no trains.

I was regularly left overnight from 14 years old with my younger sister. However I had neighbours I knew and could ask if needed. I think this is key. Not sure if I'd do it with mine, as he's very young now. Yeah we stayed up v late.

Oh stfu with your ridiculous comment. Who the f said spy? You are ridiculous!! I said to check he's OK! If he doesn't answer the phone is saves worrying especially if he's being left overnight. And where did I say I want a camera?

Absolute 🤡

Very astute! Yes, there is a reason for this. I've omitted an important detail, and will probably get crucified for drip feeing, but I didn't want it to muddy the waters - I really wanted to know how others felt about leaving a 15 year old, and this thread has really helped me think it through, thanks everyone.

To the posters who've asked why I'm nervous about leaving DS - no particular reason, it's just new territory, it's not something we've done before. He's been on his own in the house for a few hours on the odd occaion and is perfectly happy, but never overnight. (He asked if he could stay home alone for week rather than come on the family summer holiday, the night before leaving! That was a no).

The detail I've left out is that the friend's house my youngest is going to is the same place I am. The friends she would usually go to in our town can't do it that day, which is unfortunate. Plan A is I bring her with me to our friend's in the town with the event, my friend will put her to bed with her DC, DS stays home alone, and DD and I get up early in the morning, get the train and get back in time for school.

I could ask work to pay for a taxi. (I hadn't considered asking before this thread, I was thinking I'd fund it - not sure why!) That's the other option. But it would mean 10yo DD staying up late, doing a 45 minute taxi journey with me and getting home at nearly midnight. She's not very well at the moment - she's had a cold she can't seem to shift - and the poor thing will be shattered.

So I need to weigh up what's the lesser of two less-than-ideal situations - keep DD up late or leave DS at home alone. Sorry for the drop feed, but it really was useful to focus just on leaving DS.

I think it's an option, now. I just have to work out which is best for everyone.

Why don't you leave DD at home with DS and get a taxi back for midnight? Neither of them are alone or have to stay up late or miss school...

If you must leave him it would be a good idea to get an indoor camera so you can keep an eye on him.

I mean....literally there. But go off