Leaving 15 year old at home

[yetanotherdaytoday]

Is a sensible 15 year old too young to be at home alone for a night, as a one off?

DH has to take MIL to hospital 300 miles away and I need to be at work in the next town, to run an event, on a day with train strikes. My youngest can go to her friends but I don't have anywhere to send my DS.

DS is suggesting I leave him at home. I'm tempted. I was up to all sorts at his age, he's a good kid and very very sensible in comparison!

I don't drive and therefore wouldn't make it back till breakfast.

If it was a normal day at work I'd just take the day off, but the event can't run without me.

Is it madness to consider this? I'm not sure what else to do. My couple of friends who I could usually call on for favours just can't help that day.

WWYD?

Yes. They are old enough! What on earth do you think will happen to him? I hate to sound old, but at his age in the Guides and Scouts we were leading patrol camps for the weekend with no phones and an adult contact in the nearest farm, and were responsible for babysitting other people's children overnight. What has happened that a 15 year old can't feed himself and put himself to bed with full access to phones in the event of an emergency?

Could he not go to the MIL with DH, at least an adult will be close by.

I thought that was what you were worried about though? 🤔

No - this is mid week and he has school. Plus the DH is up at MIL’s for a couple of weeks.

I think it should be fine to leave him. Not only fine, but it would be good for him. You could keep in touch via occasional phone or text. You say that he is responsible and is fine with it, so in fact it would be a sign of trust (of him) on your part - which is a good thing.

I would definitely do it. Tell her to invite as many friends over and have a party. Leave her all the alcohol in the cupboards and tell her to help herself. Make sure she knows to answer the door to strangers and don't do any washing up after herself.
It may seem strange but I tended to find with my children they did exactly the opposite to what I asked.
If you tell her all this and think she'll do it then don't leave her. If you think she'll wonder if you've gone mental for suggesting it then definitely leave her.
I remember my mum leaving us overnight when we were 14 and 15 and the ceiling fell in! Not mobiles then. We had sort it out ourselves... It was a nice surprise for mum when she got home!

It's funny how polar some of the resources are. From the DP who has a nanny for a 17 year old, to those who think a 15 year old should be able to manage on their own without a second thought.

Things can happen, but are rare. We once had the police on our doorstep at 2am because of an attempted burglary- a rare occurrence , but not one I would feel comfortable leaving a 15 year old to deal with, no matter how good they were at switching on the microwave.

On this occasion, it's unavoidable and the least worst case scenario.
The only thing I'd say is that if MILs hospital trips become frequent, DH will need to try to find a more local solution for her.

Oh and in some funny way age 15 is easier than 16-17 as most of them aren't at the stage of downing the tequila and inviting their pals round.

As much as its not a great situation, its will build up a huge trust between you and child. Make sure you have as much safeguarding in place, what can't be touched to prevent xyz and what to do if xyz happens. Keep phones charged and close by etc, how to get out if there's a fire.. etc. Make sure food can just be warmed up (15 year old are great at snacking instead of eating!) And make sure there is a trusted neighbour that can keep an eye on the home or be a port of call in an emergency. Good luck!

Hire a car , you will save on your travel there
train fare

I also have a very sensible 15yr old, I have left him overnight with neighbours on stand by. I kept relaying the importance of locking the doors,not answering them and putting the keys somewhere safe. When i got home in the morning, I couldnt get in, he'd locked the doors and left the keys in the locks🙄but at least he knew where the keys were so he could get out in an emergency.

Well that's your answer then! Video chat a few times and again before he's off to bed making sure the door is locked etc.

Unfortunately I wouldn't get very far as I don't drive.

If you have good neighbours he can call on in an emergency then absolutley he will be fine. Anything like my son, he will make himself food and not move from his computer or room for rest of the night. Remind him he has to keep in touch and let you or DH know h'es ok regularly. Its such a big thing leaving them the first time overnight but as you've said its generally our anxiety as parents rather than the kids!

Have I missed that you asked the DS about his opinion?
He might like an opportunity to be more grown up.

I've not read all of the responses so sorry of this has been suggested but our fire alarm went off the other night for some reason and even with the kids bedroom doors wide open next to the alarm, they didn't twitch. They're 12 and 14 so not sure if they are deep sleepers or whether it's an age thing. I'd just want to know that they'd be woken by the fire alarm before deciding.

I'd definitely leave my daughter at this age if she was happy with that, though for preference I would rather she had a friend to stay with her I guess....

When she is 16 I expect she will be off travelling with friends, when I'll have very little control over what she is doing or with whom, so a night at home alone at 15 seems like good preparation.

Physically, most 15 year olds are at no greater risk than an adult. So as long as you trust the kid to make reasonable choices, it should be fine.

I also work with kids this age and if anything am over protective/cautious in a work context, but I wouldn't bat an eyelid if a sensible 15 year old was left alone at home for one night, provided they were informed in advance and happy with the arrangement. Nor would any of my colleagues I don't think.

A disproportionate amount of children in fires are found still in bed. The frequency of most fire alarms are at a frequency that wakes up adults and not children.

Nanny at 17 is nuts, I bet people have au-pairs that are barely 17. Imagine having a driving licence, job and a nanny to make your tea!

DS is well up for it! He wanted me to leave him at home for a week this summer instead of coming on the family holiday.

@yetanotherdaytoday You have your answer then. You do have to give them a chance to go solo.

Your joking here eh?

I wouldn’t, at 15 he is a child. I’m sorry that’s not helpful.
Could he possibly come with you and stay with your friend too ?

I realise people will say what will happen, he’s almost an adult etc etc BUT in reality a number of things could happen. I’m sorry, I just wouldn’t x

If something went wrong I don’t think the OPs biggest worry would be the legal consequences

I have a fifteen year old DD and I’d have no hesitation leaving her overnight as a one off. I haven’t had to but it wouldn’t trouble me greatly if I needed to. She’s really sensible. She has a mobile phone. She can prepare simple meals. I think it’s good for teenagers to experience a little independence. I stayed at home for weeks at a time when I was that age and refused to go on holiday with my parents 😂