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Original poster

Child running off after swimming

150 replies

Vvvvvvvvvvv · 04/11/2023 09:46

When I’m half in and half out of my clothes … it’s so dangerous as obviously there’s a pool and it’s wet and slippy. It’s really stressing me out and none of the other kids seem to do it. Help!

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
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BertHandsomeAteMyBudgie · 04/11/2023 09:48

First how old?
also sympathy, bolters are a nightmare.
reins.
I can’t think what but there’s a way to clip the door closed I think.

Original poster
Vvvvvvvvvvv · 04/11/2023 09:50

He’s nearly 3. It’s so difficult as where we swim is a private pool and you have to get changed poolside which I know isn’t ideal but he’s on everything, climbing chairs and the sides and leaping around and trying to run round - it’s awful! Was so much easier taking a non mobile baby.

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Soggydog · 04/11/2023 09:50

If you wanted advice people will need to know how old the child is (eg still young enough to be put in a pushchair or not?) What is the changing room set up? Are there any additional needs? Would the child sit to eat something or suck on a lolly whilst waiting for you or watch/play on your phone to distract? Could you afford one of those wet coat things so you don't have to spend so long changing and can just bung it on and have a shower and change at home?

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BertHandsomeAteMyBudgie · 04/11/2023 09:56

Okay. So reins. He may tantrum but until he can behave safely this is the way it has to be. Is it a cubicle poolside or are you effectively changing in a communal area?
I would also start talking to him about this away from the pool and remind him that he need to behave or you can’t go. In fact I would also consider next time he asks to go saying no we can’t because you run about too much & wont sit still, but he might be a bit young for that yet.
I personally would not be above approaching a kind lifeguard and asking them to talk to him about why we mustn’t run about by the pool and that they will be watching.

BertHandsomeAteMyBudgie · 04/11/2023 09:57

Also as pp deprive style item might be handy

BertHandsomeAteMyBudgie · 04/11/2023 09:57

Dry robe!

MolkosTeenageAngst · 04/11/2023 09:57

Would he sit and watch cocomelon or similar on your phone?

Soggydog · 04/11/2023 10:03

@BertHandsomeAteMyBudgie That's the word I was looking for! 🤣

EducatingArti · 04/11/2023 10:05

Can you take the pushchair poolside. Strap him in and give him something like a bread stick to eat.

Original poster
Vvvvvvvvvvv · 04/11/2023 10:07

I’m not really sure how reins would work when I’m trying to get dressed myself though as I can’t hang on to him and dress myself.

I think there’s a chance my phone could end up in the water if I went down the screen route

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Tomorrowiscoming · 04/11/2023 10:19

So push chair strapped in until he can behave. At 3 he should be able to stop and wait, do this in other scenarios too as practice. Mention it at nursery too. Also have a treat for after swimming if he listens to instructions but make sure he doesn't have it if not listening.

Original poster
Vvvvvvvvvvv · 04/11/2023 10:20

We can’t take pushchairs poolside. It is a small private pool. I know he should . I’m feeling shit about it, as I know none of the other kids behave like that.

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Perfect28 · 04/11/2023 10:22

Snack.

TheShellBeach · 04/11/2023 10:23

If you can't keep him safe, and they don't allow pushchairs in, perhaps you'd better stop going until he can behave.

Perfect28 · 04/11/2023 10:23

I towel him up, wrap him up or use a wearable towel and give him a snack- then I get dressed. He finishes, I'm ready and I can focus on getting him ready.

Original poster
Vvvvvvvvvvv · 04/11/2023 10:24

I have wondered that @TheShellBeach but swimming is important: maybe I should just sack it off though. It’s not really reaching him how to behave but at least I won’t be judged at home! Hard knowing what’s best to ro.

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TheShellBeach · 04/11/2023 10:28

I do sympathise. Sorry, I wasn't being judgemental.
One of my four children would have run off in those circumstances. The other three would have behaved.

I just wouldn't have taken DS1 to such a set up.

Have you tried telling him that you're not taking him again because of this behaviour?

Original poster
Vvvvvvvvvvv · 04/11/2023 10:30

No I meant other parents there - just makes you feel like such a shit parent when you’re helpless while your child rampages around! I suppose it’s just generally I don’t feel he listens to me at all.

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Soggydog · 04/11/2023 10:32

Do you drive there? If so I'd either put the dry robe or a towelling robe on each of you and get straight in the car. The humiliation of dashing back to the door in it is probably less than the stress of trying to keep him safe. It's easy for people to judge if they have a child happy to sit, but having had one of each (one who would sit like an angel and one who has only been gradually getting better at sitting since around y1) don't blame yourself. People like to judge if they have low self esteem and it makes them feel better. That is their issue so don't let it be yours. Your child is wonderful as he is, even if it is hard work x

Soggydog · 04/11/2023 10:34

And my child who doesn't sit is incredibly bright and also good at sport. His brain is just constantly active which is why he hates sitting as it is boring. As are a lot of the kids who wouldn't sit still that age x

Original poster
Vvvvvvvvvvv · 04/11/2023 10:34

Thanks, I don’t know if they are judging - just feels so crap my kid won’t do anything 😭

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Cantab54321 · 04/11/2023 10:38

Take a small toy he only has access to at the pool. Something like a truck transporting a plastic animal that can’t swim and has to stay away from the water. Only let him have the toy while sitting down.

Beamur · 04/11/2023 10:38

The pool set up isn't ideal for an active but not entirely biddable child. I'd look for a different pool or just have a break from it for a few months (or longer)

underneaththeash · 04/11/2023 10:40

Beamur · 04/11/2023 10:38

The pool set up isn't ideal for an active but not entirely biddable child. I'd look for a different pool or just have a break from it for a few months (or longer)

And me!

WASZPy · 04/11/2023 10:40

I don't think swimming is that important at 3. Bin off the lessons at the private pool. Take him to another sports class- rugby tots or something- so he can be learning to listen in a group and do something active.

Taking him swimming yourself sometimes to a leisure centre where there will be cubicles for changing until he is old enough to do swimming lessons without you.