Child running off after swimming

[Vvvvvvvvvvv]

When I’m half in and half out of my clothes … it’s so dangerous as obviously there’s a pool and it’s wet and slippy. It’s really stressing me out and none of the other kids seem to do it. Help!

How is it your fault?

Have you considered that he may be on the spectrum? You don't seem to be accepting this may be the case, youve only said that he's coping ok at nursery. That means nothing.

I don’t know, doesn’t seem to be but if he is then things won’t change. I don’t think he is though.

You don't

Please, OP get an appointment with your health visitor and ask for advice.
This is not your fault.
Feeling at the end of your tether and almost wanting to hit your child? I think we've all been there.
Toddlers are exasperating and toddlers who are neurodiverse, moreso.

Does your little boy sleep well? What does he eat?

Another way you can do it is you get out first if they are in a float suit and dress then call them out with high interest snack.it may not be easier as they will likely Bob around not coming out but may feel safer depending on pool situation.mine at 3 is fine in pool by herself for a time (supervised obviously) makes things much easier.but vote for crisps as best option, something more fun than normal snack.

Why don't you think he is ?

He sleeps well. He eats well but only if you feed him which is frustrating. I am just feeling really sad.

You sound very depressed, OP.
Maybe a visit to your doctor would help. You can mention the possibility of autism while you're there.

I think you are in denial which is ok and normal but you need to see a paediatrician

What happens if you don't feed him?

I really don’t think he’s autistic @TheShellBeach . Just have to manage as best we can. I am low today, not even sure why.

Well he doesn’t eat, I think that’s obvious!

Can you change pools to one with cubicles just for the short time? It really would make your life so much easier until he’s outgrown running off. DS was much the same and I even had to stand in front of the cubicle door to get dressed as he could unlock it. No amount of distraction or snacks would have kept him still, he was a serial bolter.

It will get easier - he’s almost four now and we go to a different pool where it’s communal poolside changing and he manages to behave himself!

Hoping four will be an easier age. Mind you I hoped 3 would be!

It's absolutely not your fault.

There's been some great suggestions in here. I think you need to speak with HV urgently and get some parenting tips and advice.

Things to try but you have to be consistent

Time out. Moving him away from what he is doing for a set amount of Time

Step/chair. Sit in step for set amount of time.

Apologise and cuddle make it right each time.

Start small and build but but building it in now will help you setting boundaries.

Why do t you when there are so many signs? Just because he sleeps? A lot of children with add too. If he's not great but there is no harm in getting him checked, however if he is there is harm in leaving him undiagnosed and unassisted in his struggles

I mean, does he get down and run around, and never eat?
If you refused to feed him, surely he'd get hungry?

I know it might feel easier to blame yourself than think about the possibility that your child might be different but talking to your GP or HV about it isn't going to change whether he is or isn't.

But if he is, then you'll get the ball rolling sooner.

Does he enjoy the swimming part?
If so I agree with the poster above who said stop the lessons but find a local pool you can take him to just to enjoy the water and practice getting changed, using all the stuff like easy clothes for both of you, give them a snack while you get dressed (safely locked in a cubicle and with you standing in front of the door) etc.

It doesn't need to be presented or perceived as a punishment imo, just change it and if he asks why you aren't going to the old pool explain it wasn't safe for now but you might go again when he's a bit bigger.

I haven't got direct experience of ND kids but I do have two kids who were/are always the most boisterous in any group (middle is less so!) So I can empathise with feeling judged etc. And I can empathise with reaching a point where you're not sure at all what to do next to help your kid. I'm sorry, it's really hard.

Are there any activities where he is least likely to tantrum/meltdown? Or where he can last longest before it happens? I think if I were you I'd be doing those and trying to plan them to minimise a major problem. Eg short park trip, don't go near any equipment that frustrates him, snacks before journey home. Or whatever.

Maybe chat to nursery about your general concerns, they may have a staff member who could advise?

And don't blame yourself, honestly. You are doing the best you can, and so is he in his own way.

You can also put your phone on YouTube cocomelon if you forget your crisps.please don't worry kids are chaos and he won't be running off forever

Does he feed himself at nursery, OP?

No, it’s not just because he sleeps - I haven’t said that at all.

I don’t think there are ‘so many signs’, but I also don’t think it matters. Autism isn’t curable so if he has it he has it. But I think it’s just me tbh!

Yes he does @TheShellBeach but trust me like many kids he does many things at nursery he wouldn’t at home!

I wouldnt do time out but time in.

I know it's not curable but the sooner he is diagnosed the more help he gets. Not sleeping, not listening, not feeding himself, running away, not being bothered by bribes - all signs. I think it's you too you are in denial and not wanting to investigate. Just because it isn't curable does t mean just leave as long as possible and see what happens. There is no harm in investigating. I hope you're right I hope it's his age and not autism but it doesn't hurt to get checked