Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6

Original poster

Child running off after swimming

150 replies

Vvvvvvvvvvv · 04/11/2023 09:46

When I’m half in and half out of my clothes … it’s so dangerous as obviously there’s a pool and it’s wet and slippy. It’s really stressing me out and none of the other kids seem to do it. Help!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

savoycabbage · 04/11/2023 10:45

I’d stop and start again in the summer. He will be older and you can all wear less clothes which makes everything easier.

Learning to swim is important, but he’s two.

Original poster

Vvvvvvvvvvv · 04/11/2023 10:49

I’ve already had to end football so it just feels a bit like giving up, but I suppose we’ll have to, he can’t be behaving like he does. Just so embarrassing having to say we can’t come as I can’t control my child.

OP posts:

pumpykins · 04/11/2023 10:50

Mine is like this too. Being tired makes them hyper

Give them your phone and a bag of crisps 😊

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families General parenting

Original poster

Vvvvvvvvvvv · 04/11/2023 10:53

But then he’d throw them in the water or something stupid. I hate this, it feels I can’t go anywhere but then that makes behaviour worse 😭 why did I have a kid?? Was life too easy before?

OP posts:

mikado1 · 04/11/2023 10:54

Not a great set up but sounds like he'd run away in a changing room anyway. Could you just put on a dry robe or towel and go straight to car?!
A friend of mine was mid way through getting dressed, half naked, when one of her twins ran out of a changing room and back to the pool at this age, nightmare.

QuillBill · 04/11/2023 10:54

It's not giving in. Honestly mine did probably a hundred different classes over the years. Some they like, some they don't.

Yes, he has to learn to swim, but it's not working at the moment and he's only two so it's fine.

Classes like football can be too structured for two year olds. Most two year olds are playing alongside each other. Not playing football, I mean playing with trains or in a sand pit.

Sirzy · 04/11/2023 10:55

I would be looking for another pool for now. The one you go to doesn’t sound suitable for young children from a safety POV.

mikado1 · 04/11/2023 10:56

Classes like football can be too structured for two year olds. Most two year olds are playing alongside each other. Not playing football, I mean playing with trains or in a sand pit.
Completely agree. The only thing we did until school was swimming. Second son didn't even get that because of Covid etc and is fine in the water now.

Princesspollyyy · 04/11/2023 10:57

I would stop going until he's at an age where he can behave properly. He's obviously not at an age where you can teach him not to run off, he's going to do it anyway.

NugatoryMatters · 04/11/2023 11:03

Can you change pool?

Find one that actually suits your needs.

DS does lessons at a little private pool specialising in children’s lessons. There are lockable cubicles and one has a baby jail play pen in it.

DS is usually the least compliant and most challenging child in any social situation (there’s a strong family history of ADHD here). I totally understand how you feel about being a ‘shit parent’. All you can do is try to choose environments where it’s less likely to become a disaster! And make plans to better enable you to succeed.

If you can’t find a more suitable pool, then chucking a dry robe/towel and sliders/crocs on both of you and either heading to the toilets (there must be toilets!) so you can get changed or just getting straight in the car and changing at home may be your best option.

It will get easier. For not just avoid poolside changing entirely.

TheShellBeach · 04/11/2023 11:04

I think this is your first child?

My first would have sat and behaved.

My second would have run off, just like your little boy.

It's not your fault. Some children are just like that.

DS is an adult now, with a diagnosis of AuDHD, but I didn't know that when he was a small child.

Original poster

Vvvvvvvvvvv · 04/11/2023 11:04

I am getting a bit worried about adhd to be honest. Might just be me though.

OP posts:

InTheRainOnATrain · 04/11/2023 11:06

Once he’s 3 can’t he go in the pool without you? I’d honestly sack off lessons until then because then you only have to deal with him.

Ineedanewsofa · 04/11/2023 11:07

oh I feel for you, having what feels like the only child in a class that won’t behave/sit still/join in is pretty rubbish. If it’s any comfort we didn’t stick to any class/activity for more than a term until DD was about 5 for one or another of the above reasons, including swimming. She’s now 8 and has joined every club/activity going at school! We also restarted swimming in yr1 and she now swims really well. Just takes some a little longer to develop the concentration and social skills for group activities

HamSandwichKiller · 04/11/2023 11:08

This poolside setup is unusual. It's okay for it not to work for you. Honestly I only put up with changing poolside during Covid times. Find somewhere that'll keep your kid contained for now.

Coconutmeg · 04/11/2023 11:08

I used to swim in a pool that had a playpen to plonk kids in while you change - it was well used so you are not alone.
It’d be worth asking if they might think about providing one

gotomomo · 04/11/2023 11:11

Bribery? My dd1 was a runner but could be bribed with money or "sweets" (yogurt covered raisins). She was mr men book obsessed and knew 8 coins (quarters, we lived in the USA then) bought a book!

TheShellBeach · 04/11/2023 11:12

Vvvvvvvvvvv · 04/11/2023 11:04

I am getting a bit worried about adhd to be honest. Might just be me though.

Don't worry about it.
If your son has got ADHD an early diagnosis is a good thing.
It doesn't mean he's going to have a terrible life
My DS got a degree and has a good job.

NugatoryMatters · 04/11/2023 11:14

Vvvvvvvvvvv · 04/11/2023 11:04

I am getting a bit worried about adhd to be honest. Might just be me though.

Don’t at this point. Honestly. He’s two. Being a handful is not necessarily indicative of being anything other than 2.

I have suspicions about my DS but that’s largely due to neurodiversity being rife in my family. He is too young to reach any conclusions yet though.

capnfeathersword · 04/11/2023 11:18

I have a child like this. He is 6 now and an absolute delight but he does need parenting in a different way to my other children and one of his major struggles is any 'dead time' - waiting for something to start, transition from one thing to another etc etc.

Anyway, in your situation I would stop immediately because it isn't working and you don't have to put yourself through it. Don't worry that he 'should' be able to do it or you 'should' be able to manage it. One of the best pieces of advice I have had is 'you have to parent the child you have'.

So - look for a pool with a different set up, with cubicles for changing. Or, wait until he is old enough to do formal lessons and go in the pool without you. My son started this at 3.5 so not too far off for you. He is now a strong swimmer at 6! He didn't go at all at 2 as it was covid times. The lessons have a set routine and we have no trouble at all. The kids come out, stand in shower, I wash their hair, we get pajamas on and we leave. It runs on rails as they have done the same thing every week for as far back as they can remember. I barely ever take them to a pool outside of lessons because I hate all the faff of changing myself at the same time as them!

Give yourself a break. You do not ' have ' to do things.

shortandpaleandoldandugly · 04/11/2023 11:19

You need a different pool or to go with someone else. That way, you get out and get ready first while they play with whoever is with you. Alternatively, snacks and entertainment of some sort.

TheSeasonalNameChange · 04/11/2023 11:23

Mine was like this too. We either took an extra adult or didn't go swimming because it was so stressful and the behaviour escalated to get even more dangerous. We actually found he calmed down around 4.5 and have been able to restart swimming lessons with no problems since.

Unfortunately some kids are just like this so don't blame yourself, just try to support him through it.

Soupdragonandme · 04/11/2023 11:30

Can you wrap him up and hand him a banana whist you get ready? Then get him ready second? I found with my hyper toddler he would stay still because he didn’t want to get cold, but if he was dressed first he was happy to run amock.

Otherwise, lots of explaining beforehand that if he sits nicely you will go to toy shop/ hot chocolate/ feed the ducks, but only if he sits nicely. Obviously the success depends on how much understanding he has. Good luck.

Apossum · 04/11/2023 11:31

Can you look at going to another pool? Otherwise I think the advice of chucking a dry robe on and then getting him dressed and calling it a day is the best one. My son is a bit of a wildling too and while he’s fairly okay.. ish.. at the pool in the changing rooms, I can’t say I’d want to risk changing poolside!

NugatoryMatters · 04/11/2023 11:35

You should be able to find lessons where you don’t need to get undressed from 3 up, @Vvvvvvvvvvv.

It might be better to focus on activities that work well for you and your little boy - where you can both feel like you’re succeeding. If he really loves running around, do that.

And don’t compare yourself to other people. Their children might behave better getting changed after swimming - but they are also little terrors in different ways. You’re just not seeing that.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6