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Original poster

When would you leave your baby to go abroad?

289 replies

arsol · 26/10/2023 09:56

I'm a bridesmaid at a wedding next year and the plan is to go abroad. I won't be going as my kids will be 3 and 12 months.

Which got me wondering what age people think is reasonable to go abroad without their kids? I thought most people like me would not want to leave a baby under 1, but then an influencer I follow has just left her 4 month old to go to a wedding abroad which made me wonder if I was being precious. The longest I've ever been apart from my 3 year old is 3 days and around 1.5 hours drive away.

Interested in views just out of interest really to see if I'm being over anxious.

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DelphiniumBlue · 27/10/2023 23:31

I went for a long weekend with friends leaving DS1 &2 with DH when they were 21/2 and 5. DH said they were fine, but a friend/neighbour said he didn't manage well at all, and the younger one was quite clingy for a while afterwards. I didn't leave him again till he was 17!

2chocolateoranges · 27/10/2023 23:35

PuttingDownRoots · 27/10/2023 21:50

Those who wouldn't leave older children/teens to go abroad...

Would you let them go on a school trip abroad or something like a Scout Camp?

Yes mine have been to North of Scotland, Belgium, France and Germany with school.

For us a holiday abroad is a family holiday. But each to their own, I know others who have a great support network and can afford holidays abroad outwith family holidays. We choose to do things differently.

we have been on plenty of weekends away without them but each time it’s been within 3 hrs driving time to get home.

FrangipaniBlue · 27/10/2023 23:38

Left DS at 20 months for 4 nights to go abroad on SILs hen party.

From he was 3 years old I worked away Monday - Thursday most weeks, including some places that required flights (but still within the UK).

Went to the US to a wedding and have also travelled to Mexico and Australia for 2 weeks each with work, all while he was in primary school.

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arintingly · 28/10/2023 07:11

2chocolateoranges · 27/10/2023 23:35

Yes mine have been to North of Scotland, Belgium, France and Germany with school.

For us a holiday abroad is a family holiday. But each to their own, I know others who have a great support network and can afford holidays abroad outwith family holidays. We choose to do things differently.

we have been on plenty of weekends away without them but each time it’s been within 3 hrs driving time to get home.

Show quote history

So it's more about cost?

The thing is that weekends abroad can be cheaper than weekends in the UK. The Eurostar sale can give you £35 tickets and UK hotels are very expensive. But it depends on where you are in the country.

2chocolateoranges · 28/10/2023 11:53

arintingly · 28/10/2023 07:11

So it's more about cost?

The thing is that weekends abroad can be cheaper than weekends in the UK. The Eurostar sale can give you £35 tickets and UK hotels are very expensive. But it depends on where you are in the country.

Show quote history

I used to work part time so cost did factor into things then but not now(now work full time) . I just want to be able to get home quickly … just in case.which is why any weekends away have been a drivable distance under 2/3 hours.

holidays abroad when our children were younger were a luxury.

Mamabear48 · 29/10/2023 06:19

My oldest was 3 months old because it was my sisters hen then again at 4 months for my best friends hen. My youngest I didn’t go abroad till he was 7 months. I and they were absolutely fine and enjoyed it!

GuitarGeorgina · 29/10/2023 07:27

Depends on whether or not you have someone you trust to leave them with. A lot of people don’t.

I’d rather leave a baby/toddler than a 17 year old. I think my ds would have the party of the year if I was safely abroad and I can’t imagine what I’d come home to.

AuntieMarys · 29/10/2023 07:29

I went to NYC for 4 days when ds was 8 months old. And again when he was 5 and dd was 2. Dh coped!!!

MrsPCR · 29/10/2023 07:46

If it was a wedding I really wanted to attend, we'd all go as a family and make a holiday of it for the week or and then I'd just leave them for the day. I personally don't think I could leave them to go abroad. Eldest is 8. Hated leaving middle to go 2 hours away overnight when he was 18 months.

WeHaveChocIcesInTheFreezer · 29/10/2023 08:37

I have 6 month old twins, I’d say after 1 year old I’d be happy for up to 3 nights with my parents or DH.
I’d probably want them quite a bit older for a week away from them.

Everyone’s different, there’s no right or wrong answer just what works for you and what you’re comfortable with/how happy you are with who they’d be left with etc. I know some who have left a 3 month old for several nights, and others who haven’t even done a single night away and their DC is 10 years old. No judgement for either.

boong121 · 29/10/2023 08:46

No chance.. none.

theduchessofspork · 29/10/2023 08:49

I think that’s plenty old enough if you want to go - they’ll be with their Dad presumably.

WolstonecraftWoman · 29/10/2023 08:56

I travel quite a lot for work. Left my eldest for the first time to work abroad for three weeks when she was 16 months. I actually find it gets harder the older they are (DD now 9)It’s not ideal but I get a lot out of working abroad and they benefit from quality time with DH and grandparents.

RandalsAunty · 29/10/2023 09:09

Left my 11 month old DC with my mum. She leaves in another country so have not seen DC as much as she wanted. DC was her first grandchild. She was delighted and we had a great break. I trust mum mum 100% and never had issues with leaving kids with her.

Chocoletta · 29/10/2023 09:16

I personally wouldn't. Haven't been away from my 3.5 year old even for a night yet! But that's just me! I'd be too worried about something happening and me being needed, especially if abroad.

HerMammy · 29/10/2023 09:22

If you're my neighbour...every 6 weeks since birth!
And I'm not exaggerating, leaves him with her parents
What's wrong with that?
A lot of paranoid pps here, it's perfectly ok to leave your child with their dad or grandparents.
I can see why there's so many posts with women struggling when their kids grow up and don't need mummy, they've made their entire life and personality being a mum.

Parker231 · 29/10/2023 09:26

WolstonecraftWoman · 29/10/2023 08:56

I travel quite a lot for work. Left my eldest for the first time to work abroad for three weeks when she was 16 months. I actually find it gets harder the older they are (DD now 9)It’s not ideal but I get a lot out of working abroad and they benefit from quality time with DH and grandparents.

ive traveled for work throughout DT’s life as many of my clients are in the US and Singapore. By the time they got to the age of your DD, they were totally uninterested in my trips and just wanted presents brought back - lots of last minute visits to tourist shops at the airport!

Overfrog · 29/10/2023 09:44

I think it really depends on your personal circumstances and baby's temperament. I have a sensitive and clingy DS (2.5) and he's always been like that. I've spent one night away from him and he was with his DH - he was 20 months. We are planning our first night away from him when he will be 3, but we will be a 20 min drive away. Some people with easy babies and who bottle feed may feel fine leaving much earlier, especially if they have a close relationship with grandparents and the baby knows them well.

ArrrMeHearties · 29/10/2023 09:49

I'm taking my oldest to Disneyland Paris next November just us two. My youngest will be 18 months at that point. He will stay with grandparents or dh. I'm really looking forward to having some quality time with oldest as we both love Disney

ElaineMBenes · 29/10/2023 10:01

especially if they have a close relationship with grandparents and the baby knows them well.

Leaving them with grandparents while you go away for the weekend is a really good way for them to build a close relationship

HerMammy · 29/10/2023 10:04

I have a sensitive and clingy DS (2.5)
And by never leaving him he won't learn he can be without you.

HelenTherese2 · 29/10/2023 10:30

I left my DD at 6 months to go on a long weekend with DH. It was a free trip to Spain with his job.

It was wonderful.

Duechristmas · 29/10/2023 10:34

We did it once when mine were three and six for two nights, other than that I waited until my youngest was 14 and my oldest was 21, for three nights!

Duechristmas · 29/10/2023 10:35

HerMammy · 29/10/2023 10:04

I have a sensitive and clingy DS (2.5)
And by never leaving him he won't learn he can be without you.

By providing what he needs now, he'll be a confident child and adult.

Duechristmas · 29/10/2023 10:39

PuttingDownRoots · 27/10/2023 21:50

Those who wouldn't leave older children/teens to go abroad...

Would you let them go on a school trip abroad or something like a Scout Camp?

Yes, but they are supervised and we are home if there's an issue, for both parents to leave the country is entirely different. I've had friends stuck because of ash clouds, strikes, tsunami warnings and a tornado. The tornado one left teens at home for an extra week than planned, they can have responsibilities but they also still need their parents whilst running a house.