Word for toddler girl private parts...

[Blessedbethefruitz]

Weird question, sorry! Huge searchable history on here, I'm not a troll!

With ds it was easy - willy is freely used across the UK.

But I want dd 20 months to have a word to describe her vulva/vagina, for if she's hurt, needs a wee, has a uti etc. Right now she seems to think it's her bottom as I refer to changing her bottom/nappy. I don't want something ridiculous like flower, or something gross like minge or fanny. What's usual in your home/circles/region? She knows when she needs a 'wee wee' from copying her big brother. I could use that I suppose?

Squad rather than brigade. At least the names have changed.

Because a child repeatedly talking about her genitals would be a red flag but a girl wandering around the playground saying, "flower, flower, flower" wouldn't. Because a child holding a toy car randomly goes up to the teacher and says "bobby touched my Mini" would be misinterpreted. Because not all adults a child discloses to are teachers or doctors. Every single person needs to know every single euphemism. Because children who actually are talking about flowers and minis shouldn't be used to clarify or show or point.

What exactly is wrong with vagina? Actually.

Did I say what my own child uses? No 🙃. I was reflecting that as a professional who takes disclosures of sexual harm, this has never been muddied by use of a euphemism

Why? My 2.5 year old knows the word uterus. I intentionally taught it to them and never say a baby is in someone's tummy. Dc has actually started saying the baby is in the Mummy's belly (no idea where they picked that up, possibly Bluey or something) but I say uterus.

OP, I would use vulva, vagina, and probably, (like a pp), wee-hole, baby-hole and poo-hole. The different parts of the bottom haven't come up in conversation yet though.

Tuppence - never heard of it before this thread
Mini, foofoo, foof, front bottom, fairy, flower - I've heard of these, but never heard anyone actually say in real life.
Private parts - my Mum used this when I was growing up. I find it OK if I'm referring to everything between my legs.
Vajayjay - I do hear it, mostly mockingly, but wouldn't teach it to a child.
Fanny - slightly crude and wouldn't teach it to a child.

Maybe I just live in a really weird part of the UK! Everyone I know says vagina or vulva 🤷

Thank you. I think a while ago a post went 'viral' about a kettle girl telling her teacher that her uncle touched her cookie and no one had a clue what she meant. It was a pile of made up shite but so many people ran with it and said nonsense like 'your child will be less likely to be abused if they know the correct words' 🤯

Yeh there are some silly words but I do use them.

I mean belly button is pretty silly, but oh well.

Naval = belly button
Gluteus maximus = bum, butt, arse, bottom
Little finger = pinky
Breasts = boobs

Genius

I know the etymology @fartfacenotfatface

And I prefer cunt TBH. My point was the sound of the word vagina is not ugly.

As mentioned, it's not a weird argument, I honestly don't mind what words your children use. Teach them to say vulva, it certainly is not offensive to me (why would it be?) and its great that it'll bring you confidence that your children can use the anatomically correct language. I was just commenting that at the point of sexual harm having taken place the actual terms used aren't make or break.

DC is too little yet but we will use penis and vulva/vagina to assure that there's no confusion when talking about them.

I'm also not a fan of flower, foof etc.

We just use the anatomical words vagina/vulva or penis and also 'private parts'. I think front bottom sounds gross.

My daughter used to call it her front bottom. She learned the correct words but that made more sense to her.

Personally I think vulva is rather cute sounding and very easy for a young child to say.

I don't see any harm in using well known regional variations in every day use so long as everyone knows and is happy to use the anatomical names when appropriate. I've never heard foof but one friend's DD did use Minnie and, whilst I'd never heard it used for vulva, I did work out from the context what she meant.

I don't want to shame anyone as it's not your fault if you grew up with hang ups about the female body, but I am surprised that adults go to the doctor only prepared to say they have pain "down there" then - what? Coyly point towards the location of pain whilst the doctor prompts them to discover whether they mean their vulva /vagina/clitoris/etc?? Offer up clues like "when I wee/have sex" and hope they can guess from that??

My son knows he has a penis. For me it's no different to saying hand or leg or eye. It's just the name of a body part 🤷🏻‍♀️

If we had a girl I'd be saying vulva/vagina.

@Zola1 It seems really odd that someone in your position would say anything that may dissuade people from trying to protect their children, whether you think their reasoning is valid to your specific experience or not.

Maybe not ‘make or break’ but potentially helpful. I wouldn’t be putting any parent off doing all they can to raise a red flag sooner and more clearly if the worst was to happen.

We'll bring different words in when they're old enough

And that will be when, exactly? How will you decide that?

I'd never heard 'foof' before. Or some of the other examples given on this thread.

In the worst case scenario, they were sexually assaulted, it needs to be very clear what happened to them. There is also evidence that using correct terminology reduces shame around discussing sex, sexual pleasure, enhances connectedness to one's own body, confidence and body image.

Using euphemisms encourages the idea that talking about a vulva or vagina is wrong, shameful or dirty. Children may well feel it is rude to mention "private parts" and be discouraged from reporting inappropriate touches, or dodgy conversations predators may initiate with them.

Using correct words lays the foundation for healthy adult sexual functioning and the ability to communicate well with sexual partners.

The NSPCC has excellent advice on this topic, as do numerous child protection agencies.

Vulva and vaguna, surely?

It would be a shame not to teach your son the correct terms for his private parts too.

Oh God 🤮

Vulva, urethra is more likely wee hole at first, anus

if they need to tell you for any reason, there’s no confusion with the real name

Really important to teach them the proper words early & they are not embarrassing! For safeguarding reasons, you can check the nspçc website for info on how to talk to children of all ages. There have been documented cases of abuse where opportunities to help children at an early stage were missed because e.g. a child told teacher that X was playing with her 'flower'. (Of course trained abuse staff will be well aware of many possible descriptions but that doesn't help if the original adult disclosed to doesn't understand so therefore it won't be escalated)
Much more important that you get over any embarrassment & just normalise the language.
I've never heard the term 'foof' & regionalisations just add further confusion, no guarantee a teacher would be from your area & know this either .

It wasn't a conscious thing but for my boys, it's 'penis' & 'vagina / vulva' for my daughter. They are now teens / preteens so the boys presumably have their own terminology but when they've to talk to me, it's 'penis' without any self-consciousness

I do remember my DD saying 'front bottom' when small, occasionally but generally we used proper terminology.

So this!

The problem with using vulva and vagina intending to reduce confusion is that so many adult women don't seem to understand the distinction and refer to the whole area as the vagina anyway!
Foof does seem to be the colloquial term round here