Word for toddler girl private parts...

[Blessedbethefruitz]

Weird question, sorry! Huge searchable history on here, I'm not a troll!

With ds it was easy - willy is freely used across the UK.

But I want dd 20 months to have a word to describe her vulva/vagina, for if she's hurt, needs a wee, has a uti etc. Right now she seems to think it's her bottom as I refer to changing her bottom/nappy. I don't want something ridiculous like flower, or something gross like minge or fanny. What's usual in your home/circles/region? She knows when she needs a 'wee wee' from copying her big brother. I could use that I suppose?

Vagina is a lovely word. If it wasn't a word for genitalia it would probably be a girl's name. So why the 'eeeuuuuuwwwww'? I mean it is because it's girls' genitalia, isn't it? 'Willy" is just as boring a word in itself.

It's OK to have a think about that. Why we think cunt is the 'worst word'. Why we shy away from vagina for toddlers. Why we expect girls to wear skirts but then also knickers and bike shorts. There is a lot to unpick. Some of it is uncomfortable. So we call people who think differently a 'brigade' and 'clinical' and 'virtue signalling' and all the other words on this thread. Easier to just reject other women and call them names than think about internalised misogyny.

I grew up with my vulva being called a wee wee and ...wait for it...undercarriage.

I did have vague suspicions as a child about whether my vulva would require a doctor, or a mechanic if it ever became poorly. My mum was shocking about the whole of sex education so Possibly best not to take a leaf from her book (on chickens and rabbits...because that made total sense of the whole thing when I was 13).

When DS was at primary they had the NSPCC in teaching the pants rule,

DM was shocked and said they were robbing children of their childhood. Had to explain that sadly there would have been children at the school for whom that had already happened - and if the NSPCC could help even 1 child realise what was going on for them - and help them break the silence - then they should be talking to every kid in every school.

Anyway, a side note but important one. It could have helped me as a young teen. The rabbit/chicken book sure didn't.

You could have vulva/vagina and a more informal name, but I'd certainly be teaching the real names for all the reasons PP have mentioned. They are just the real names and nothing to be ashamed or offended by.

That was me @BodegaSushi

Why 'ookkkaaaayyyy'?

it just seems so clinical for a toddler. Would you expect them to say they had defecated instead of having a poo or that they needed to urinate?

You're right, I wouldn't (and don't!). But I wouldn't generally use those words as an adult, if I went to the dr with a UTI, I'd say "it hurts when I wee". So there's no distinction between what words a grown up would use vs a child. I guess that's the main issue for me, I don't see a need for adults and children to use different words.

The absolute worst!

Vagina is the internal part. Lots of people use it to mean the whole caboodle but this is technically wrong. Vulva refers to external genitals like labia, clitoris etc. If you only use vagina you're kind of making out like these parts aren't important.

In our house we have told DC that girls/women have vulva and vagina, but day to day we call it a fanny. Doesn't feel weird after a while, I see it as equivalent word to willy and balls.

Vulva and vagina - do you make up silly words for other parts of your children's anatomy?

Likewise, only on MN will someone say ‘foof’ is preferable to vulva.

Surely you can see that for someone who doesn’t use the word ‘foof’, it is a ridiculous word!

My inlaws baulk at us using 'penis'. I think it makes them look childish tbh. They say he's too young. Weird.

The safeguarding squad.. honestly it takes me 1 second to say to a child 'what do you mean by your flower' or whatever. They tell you or point. That's it. I've sat in a whole lot of police interviews for sexual abuse and given evidence before Jurys on disclosures of sexual abuse and helped secure convictions and long custodial sentences. Not one child has ever used the word vulva or vagina to me.

I am a midwife and so many women and men seem embarrassed to say vulva or vagina.
a woman once had pain and couldn’t tell me where. She just kept saying my muff. I had to get her to point to the pain, and when I said “your clitoris?” She asked me what that was.

please educate your children on male and female genitalia, using the correct terms. It’s so important

We say fanny.

We call it willy for boys and willow for girls!

Vagina means sheath (as in, where you'd put your sword) so I'm not sure it's that nice really!

Cunt is Anglo Saxon, it would have just been the only word once upon a time, pre Normans and that. Same as shit - that wasn't rude, it just meant faeces.

All these words are loaded with power and class associations, we see the Latin-derived words as 'proper' and the Anglo Saxon words as vulgar and rude.

The vagina/ vulva should really be named as such right away. The urethra can be known as pee/ wee hole for the purposes of explaining an illness although most little girls will tell you if it hurts when they wee and thats good enough. The whole wider area was always ‘privates’ although I recently discussed with my pregnant adult daughter about some symptoms and we definitely used ‘fanny and arse’ because we’re southern and a bit common 😂 but I think it’s better to use the official terms as much as possible for now.

In our family, we call it by name vulva and vagina. Or by my elderly mum, her Volvo and bits…..

Ok, but those words aren’t offensive. So why not just use them?

Vulva
Vagina
Minky
Lula
Fanny
Twinkle

So many. Take your pick.

Willy isn't a proper word though, so to doesn't work in your argument. Willy isn't a known word for the genitals of boys in the part if the world I grew up in, I don't know which other countries outside of the UK use it.

I actually think it's sexism that has caused the lack of an equivalent word to willy for girls. Everyone (in the UK at least) accepts Willy, but there's no agreement on a similar word for girls.

I have never heard the word food.

i would be deeply ashamed to use a slang word for my anatomy when consulting a doctor. Did you really talk about your foof with your doctor? Surely not

Agree. Sounds great in practice to say all kids should say 'vulva' but in reality everyone I know says 'foof'.

Come on it’s a foof!

I just found it a tad extra is all. I don't think everything has to be 'nothing but the facts', I grew up to know my anatomy perfectly well despite saying 'there's a baby in your tummy' as a child.

@Zola1 With all that you’ve seen, would you still feel weird about a child using the correct word? I find this a really weird argument. Great that you are able to ascertain what the child means in the most horrific of circumstances, but surely that sort of exposure makes you realise just how ridiculous it is that some people think that teaching the word “vulva” is too much?

Everyone I know would say Vulva to a doctor or a friend.

your post is odd.