Need advice more than ever- I want to be sure I’m not overreacting.
As my wife works away, my Mother in law comes down for a couple of days to help look after our son (3 years old) when he is not in nursery- this is something we have had in place for some time.
The relationship between my MiL and myself isn’t amazing (I had raised concerns about her struggling to look after our son and she took it badly and it lead to serious family conflict but that’s a whole other box of frogs)
Earlier this week, I arrived home to find my front door wide open, MiLs car gone , and our son Standing in the drive way visibly distraught and wet.
after I confirmed that MiL was not in the house (taking my son with me) i went to load my son into My car, which was nice and warm.
At that point my MiL drove up the drive way - When I asked her why she had left my son alone and that I had found him outside , she responded that she was sorry but she had told him she would only be a few minutes.
I did some quick maths and came to the conclusion that the nearest shop is 5 mins by car but factoring in getting there , getting the items and coming back, it was 15-20 mins at minimum.
as we went inside she nonchalantly apologies for “putting him in danger “ and went up stairs.
I later confronted her about it again, in a calm manner asking for an explanation.
MiL acknowledged my concerns, again, in a very nonchalant manner and informed me that she would would be leaving and would not be returning.
when I asked, why she didn’t just take him with her she replied “He didn’t want to come”
because I have previously been in a situation where it is my word against my Mil - I recorded the conversation- mainly for two reasons 1. To show my wife the odd behaviour, as I am partially convinced this is a health related thing and 2. To have some evidence about what was said to avoid any shenanigans later down the line.
she then approach my son and spoke to him as if she would never see him again then left.
I got quite angry inside as I felt this was MiL playing a bit of psychological game.
I have spoken to my wife and she will be speaking to her mum when she gets back.
personally I feel that what has happened is a step too far, and until I’m satisfied with an explanation, I will be looking to ensure my son is not left with MiL unsupervised.
to say that I am absolutely furious is an understatement - and MiL nonchalant- stroppy response has really set my teeth to grind.
im equally angry at myself …I saw things that concerned me over a year ago but when I tried to push it , I had MiL, BiL, and even wife telling me I was overreacting and that ultimately lead to a huge family rift.
I keep thinking of little James Bulger and how his parents would have never in a million years expected to experience what happened.