Husband - is this gross or AIBU?

[StillTrying10000]

Hello, so my husband wakes up in the morning and strokes my baby daughters face and picks up toys to give to her, and then plays with her using them. But all before he has been to the bathroom to wash his hands.
I think it’s gross and ask him to wash but obviously that goes down terribly (eye roll, walks out and leaves me to the baby)
All I can think is he’s been scratching his balls all night, let alone anything else (puke). What do you think? Does he need to make sure he holds higher hygiene standards with the baby or am I being over the top protective? Thanks! xx

@teaandtoastwithmarmite because the baby is a daughter/girl, HER not 'their'.

just fed up of seeing it everywhere & my coffee machine is broken

your doctor is an idiot, if this really happened

When the first had my LO I was super anxious about germs and my DH & step kids were more relaxed.
he would teach them it’s ok not to wash when preparing a bottle when I was teaching the opposite. Eventually I relaxed overtime and my LO did get the occupational cold/tummy bug but since starting nursery has not been off sick! Gets the occasional cold they get over quickly etc. basically I think their immune system is pretty good, probably because my DH and step kids are more relaxed about these things.
I still they are all minging at times wash my hands more than them though haha.
but they are so good with LO, keep them happy and entertained etc etc
they all claim I have ocd so trying to find the balance lol.

Anyway my point is i understand your anxiety, but there might have to be some compromise and overtime you might relax about some things… and enjoy the moment for what it is - ie your DH and baby bonding :)

@Alstoybarn did she have garlic to hand??

🤢🤮

@VinEtFromage

I'm just (non caffeinated &) fed up with they/their when it's completely unnecessary.

Oh dear - hope you've had your coffee now. I used "they/them" because I couldn't remember the sex of the baby and "it" seemed rude.

YABVVVVU

In 6 months your child will be licking their shoes.
When they are at school they will lick somebody else's shoes.

This didn't really happen, did it?

Mine was crawling fast by 5 months and regularly grabbing a handful of cat biscuits or having a chomp on the door frame. Has gorgeous teeth now!
mid baby had a serious health condition you will have been given guidance on stuff like this . If not you’re being a bit neurotic.

Children are the epicentre of virus breeding grounds. You are better washing your hands after you touch children....

YABVU. Your poor DH enjoying time with his baby.

My child does this. I feel it’s paypack because I have been OTT with cleanliness 😂
more relaxed now lol. I think having a baby has helped me relax overtime (it’s either that or let it bother me too much lol)

So true 😂

This made me chuckle. I always think rats got a raw deal and it was kids that spread plague. The amount of times I had to send them back to the bathroom to wash hands after using the toilet was unreal.

I had garlic snails once, they were actually quite good!

To be honest, I try not to think about how many things men touch after scratching their balls/holding their penis to wee (given how few wash their hands after doing that too). Otherwise I'd never touch anything.

Sounds like you have anxiety that needs calming. YABU

You need to calm down. The baby will be fine with a few germ but won't be if you keep calling her your rainbow baby. She is not a replacement, would you want her to feel that she has to live in the shadow of a sibling she never knew ? I may sound harsh but i don't mean to be but please do not burden your child.

@Dombasle the dr should be struck off for suggesting gloves; what a stupid thing to say and is everything about why doctors are unhappy about their conditions and how the general public treat them.

@LaMarschallin

sadly not, I remain uncaffinated😪. My coffee machine needs replacing (it's beyond repair) & I can't decide what to buy. I need to walk into the village to have a coffee! (Proceeds go to charity, so I don't mind the cost, but it's rubbish weather, I was hoping the sun might wake up & peek though, but no such luck , yet!)

I decided 5 mins on the naughty step for you! But it wasn't as jarring & you did put some perspective about the Dr situation! So I gave you a 'pass'

😂😂

To be fair given the amount of women who come out of public toilets without washing hands I don’t think it’s a male v female thing!

just think how much people needed telling how to hand wash during covid

YABU

In OP's defence, its odd that her dh wouldn't have the self awareness to think about washing hands after nocturnal bum scratching. Kind of lacks respect for the baby. And the home.
I find stereotypical male behaviour really gross at times anyway. Leaving seat up, bathroom door open while peeing, not always washing hands etc.

@VinEtFromage

Phew!
Also, sounds like rotten luck with the coffee machine - hope that's sorted soon.

I did also like your snail/garlic post - it reminded me of a bit in "Miss Piggy's Guide to Life" where she explains that snails are disgusting but the sauce they come in is delicious: "So, in a restaurant, order 'Escargots" but tell them to hold the snails".

Over-protecting kids from germs leads to weak immune systems.
Apologise to your husband, be a little less precious with stuff like this and in the long run your child’s health with thank you.

@Sirzy ^just think how much people needed telling how to hand wash during covid*

That whole campaign was aimed at men, didnt you know? They were the ones who gave us all covid!!

Boris never washed his hands typical example.