Husband - is this gross or AIBU?

[StillTrying10000]

Hello, so my husband wakes up in the morning and strokes my baby daughters face and picks up toys to give to her, and then plays with her using them. But all before he has been to the bathroom to wash his hands.
I think it’s gross and ask him to wash but obviously that goes down terribly (eye roll, walks out and leaves me to the baby)
All I can think is he’s been scratching his balls all night, let alone anything else (puke). What do you think? Does he need to make sure he holds higher hygiene standards with the baby or am I being over the top protective? Thanks! xx

Christ. Your poor husband 🙁

With regard to wearing gloves when changing nappies. I run a pre-school and was advised on a hygiene course that it is better to not wear gloves unless it is a poonami, you should just wash your hands properly between changes. You actually tend to get contaminates on your hands taking the gloves off.

Did you know that the human body contains more bacterial cells than human cells? So your (mainly bacterial) daughter will be being contaminated with human cells from your (mainly bacterial) partner.
My bacterial self finds that pretty gross.

You have issues OP

OP, you are being way OTT. Is there anyone in your support network who you can talk to about this before it damages your relationships?

Wow everyone’s so chilled about cleanliness! I’m surprised
The doctor told me off the other day for not using gloves when I change my babies solid nappies. I assumed this must be standard for all children and I was just a bad first time
mum- I wonder now if it’s related to her low immune system

I have never, ever heard of anyone being told to wear gloves when changing a nappy. Even with a low immune system. If you had a doctor that 'told you off' over it, I'd be finding a new doctor. Seriously.

Gloves to change nappies!! I've really heard it all now.And you really are being over the top about your husband, please try to chill a bit.

Would knowing a bit about how the natural bacteria a baby picks up during the birth process help ease your anxiety, OP? Because as it moves through the vagina a baby picks up its mother's vaginal secretions and also often a trace of poo, and those secretions are so important that these days many C-section babies are seeded with the vaginal secretions they missed because they didn't come out vaginally. Bacteria play an important role in your child's health and trying to keep everything, including Daddy, sterile, can result in an unhealthy gut biome and a lower immune system.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-43785523

Why would your husband be any more likely to scratch himself than you would be to scratch your gooch?

Do you also wash the toys each and every time before your child watches them?

Jeeeez. If your kiddo is immune compressed never exposing them to any kind of germs is the wrong thing to do.

Omg YABU!!!

But why are testicle any more disgusting than touching a leg or chest? No bodily fluids come in to contact with them (excepting sweat, which is the same as all boyd parts) unless he's a very messy urinator.

Well actually my dh doesn't quite close it properly while pooing but I do know this is gross and didn't want to admit it on MN! I do also think closing the door while peeing isnt too much to expect when it sounds like a horse with a hose.

He isnt just OP probably washes her hands. It's just to do with awareness of others imo.

OP. You do realise humans are animals don't you? And adapted to deal with many bacteria, viruses, fungi and dirt in general? That our very important gut biome is bacteria? Nothing you've told us suggests your daughter should be living in a sterile bubble. Might this be a reaction on your part to her being a rainbow baby and with some issues?

Depends why they said it and when.

We recommend wearing gloves to change a nappy after the rotavirus immunisation for example.

OP, I understand your worries.

Anxiety and these types of worries can be very normal, especially in first time mums or mums of poorly babies.

People are being rather harsh here.

In terms of hand washing, I agree with the consensus that he doesn't need to be washing his hands (unless they are visibly dirty or have poo on of course!) or unless a doctor has said to.

In terms of you asking, this isn't something you should feel bad for asking about.

As hard as it can be, try to focus on the positives and not worry too much. Offering you a handhold xx

Thank you to all of you who gave advice and constructive comments. I really appreciate you taking the time to help.

Those of you who used the following words towards me today are quite frankly all nasty pieces of work:
‘Feel sorry for my husband’, ‘poor husband’ I’m ‘pathetic’ and ‘unkind’ and ‘sound like I hate my husband’ asking him to wash his hands is a ‘horrible way to treat someone’ and I’m ‘utterly ridiculous’.

I don’t feel sorry for your husband or think you are unkind etc , you are trying to do your best for your baby.
But i hope this comes out the right way, I do think you seem anxious and I mean that in the best way possible, because you sound a bit like me… I have relaxed on the hygiene thing now but I still worry about a lot of other things!
it helped to talk to my husband about my anxiety in general and so he was more mindful of that.

You are being very unreasonable and extremely over protective.