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Original poster

Swimming pool changing rooms dilemma

159 replies

Canyoumakemeporridge · 31/07/2023 16:47

Recently signed up for pool and gym membership. Got DS10 swim membership too. Changing rooms are seperate sexes.
Reception said I could take him into ladies with me. There's 2 cubicles in ladies change but most ladies just get dressed at the benches/lockers.

I've taken him alone twice so far and taken him into ladies changing. I go in first and make sure nobody naked, I post him into a cubicle and get him out when it's safe. Last time we went I saw a sign that said no boys over 7 allowed in ladies changing.

He won't go in men's changing on his own and I don't want him to either.

There's toilets he can change in near reception but he'd still have to go through one of the changing rooms to reach the pool.

What would you do? Does anyone have any thoughts about how we can do this? His dad came once so that was fine as he was with him, but it's going to be me and DS alone mostly at pool. The men's changing have no cubicles.

He's an awkward age where he's still wee but too big to be in ladies...

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Hedonism · 31/07/2023 22:42

All of you who have 10yo sons and think it's completely fine - would you want to be getting changed in front of their mates? I know I wouldn't want to be getting undressed in front of my ds's friends.

bythere · 01/08/2023 00:17

10 years is too old to be changing in the opposite sex room. Adults and older children as well are entitled to privacy from someone of the opposite sex at that age.

Nancy155 · 01/08/2023 06:21

I find it really bizarre that people think a 10 year old boy is going to be paying any attention to women and girls getting changed in the changing room. They are children, they get changed and are probably in and out within 5 minutes barely glancing at anyone else!

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ArcticSkewer · 01/08/2023 06:26

Nancy155 · 01/08/2023 06:21

I find it really bizarre that people think a 10 year old boy is going to be paying any attention to women and girls getting changed in the changing room. They are children, they get changed and are probably in and out within 5 minutes barely glancing at anyone else!

oh well, there we go, you find it bizarre.

It's not permitted anywhere I have ever been in the UK for a 10 year old male to be in the women only changing rooms so it doesn't matter whether you find it bizarre or not.

Perhaps you'd like to campaign for more open changing rooms? Or did you have a cut off age in mind? 12? 14? 16? 18?

greenteaandmarshmallows · 01/08/2023 06:32

Nancy155 · 01/08/2023 06:21

I find it really bizarre that people think a 10 year old boy is going to be paying any attention to women and girls getting changed in the changing room. They are children, they get changed and are probably in and out within 5 minutes barely glancing at anyone else!

They might do though. It's a problem in women's loos when boys try to peek under the doors when their parent doesn't supervise them

yogasaurus · 01/08/2023 07:00

Nancy155 · 01/08/2023 06:21

I find it really bizarre that people think a 10 year old boy is going to be paying any attention to women and girls getting changed in the changing room. They are children, they get changed and are probably in and out within 5 minutes barely glancing at anyone else!

I coach 8-11 yo’s at a sport club. Some would most definitely be interested in paying attention to the opposite sex, it’s a natural curiosity at that age, but needs handled appropriately.

MissAtomicBomb1 · 01/08/2023 07:35

Nancy155 · 01/08/2023 06:21

I find it really bizarre that people think a 10 year old boy is going to be paying any attention to women and girls getting changed in the changing room. They are children, they get changed and are probably in and out within 5 minutes barely glancing at anyone else!

Bless you! I teach aged primary children and believe me many boys absolutely would be interested in looking at women's bodies! I'm sure your son is very innocent but you can surely see that you are in the minority on this thread who think it's ok.

CurlewKate · 01/08/2023 08:15

As I always say in these threads, it's not about demonising boys, or accusing them of being perverts or whatever hyperbole people choose to interpret any concerns. It's about girls having the right to privacy and dignity. And not be taught that they should budge up to accommodate boys.

delboy76 · 15/01/2024 01:50

All children differ at what age they actually become "aware" of the opposite sex. Generally girls are more often attracted to boys at a younger age than boys are to girls. As a youngster at the age of 10 myself, I was definitely "aware" In fact, when I was about 9, when we used to bathe in front of the fire in a tin bath, I used to slide up and down in the bath on my tummy, as kids do, At some point I was aware this was now beginning to feel nice. Soon after standing up to dry in the towel my mother was holding, it was obvious what was happening. My mum quickly covered me up. So, I think your son is definitely now too old to be in with you in the ladies changing rooms at the age of 10. Yes you need to find an alternative swim with family cubicles.

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