Swimming pool changing rooms dilemma

[Canyoumakemeporridge]

Recently signed up for pool and gym membership. Got DS10 swim membership too. Changing rooms are seperate sexes.
Reception said I could take him into ladies with me. There's 2 cubicles in ladies change but most ladies just get dressed at the benches/lockers.

I've taken him alone twice so far and taken him into ladies changing. I go in first and make sure nobody naked, I post him into a cubicle and get him out when it's safe. Last time we went I saw a sign that said no boys over 7 allowed in ladies changing.

He won't go in men's changing on his own and I don't want him to either.

There's toilets he can change in near reception but he'd still have to go through one of the changing rooms to reach the pool.

What would you do? Does anyone have any thoughts about how we can do this? His dad came once so that was fine as he was with him, but it's going to be me and DS alone mostly at pool. The men's changing have no cubicles.

He's an awkward age where he's still wee but too big to be in ladies...

This thread is the maddest i’ve ever seen. Of course a 10 year old child can go into the ladies’ changing rooms with their mom. He is a child.

But he was fine changing in front of them and seeing them changing when his dad was with him?

He could go in with his trunks on under his trousers and a spare pair of pants to change into afterwards. When he's changing afterwards, he can simply face the wall (or ideally a corner) and keep his back to everyone, then he will see nothing and they will see very little, especially if he takes his trunks off under a towel or something.

Not seen his own father naked in ten years of life? Honestly irresponsible parenting.

Well, yes. The clue's in that sign you referred to saying that no boys over 7 are allowed in ladies' changing.

@Upsetrethis thank you 💕

I wouldn’t care less if a mum brought in her 10 year old boy in so I’d ignore any pretend “outrage “ nonsense on here.

You might not ‘care less’. I would complain

We turn up with swimmers under our clothes.

At first, the boys used to just walk straight through and take their outer clothes off poolside, but then they decided that was more embarrassing than taking their outer clothes off in the mens and bringing them through to poolside where I meet them - having stripped at lightening pace myself, and put the dry clothes in a big bag (we decided not to attempt lockers yet!).

Once we've finished swimming, they mostly dry off so they're not dripping, and then either put a onsie or one of those hooded towels on poolside, and we walk out to the car and change/shower at home.

No way. There will be 12 year old girls in that changing room who DON'T want a 10 year old boy looking at them. Those girls have the right to get changed in a single sex room

That's a real pity. Most boys have seen at least their same sex parent naked and it would be much less of a big deal for your son if he had.

He's too old for the ladies.

I don’t understand why a male child is uncomfortable changing in front of other males? So he’s happy to be around naked women and girls, but not naked men? His dad has never taken him to a urinal? He’s never changed with his dad anywhere? Never changed with the boys at school? How does this happen?

He absolutely cannot go into open female changing rooms at ten, he’s going through puberty, when I was ten boys were very interested in female bodies and sex, it’s not appropriate.

Look mens change rooms, men’s locker rooms and men’s toilets are skill sets your husband/partner/uncle/grandfather need to introduce him to.

This thread is the maddest i’ve ever seen. Of course a 10 year old child can go into the ladies’ changing rooms with their mom. He is a child.

No, it's the female change.

What about 10 year old girls in the women's change - are they allowed to feel embarrassed about getting changed for swimming in front of classmates?

It seems very odd to me that the mens changing room has no cubicles at all. I'd be confirming that with the centre, despite what your DH says.

A big towel to change under, and just chuck on undies and onesie or jogging bottoms is the best way, then shower at home. DD often does this after swimming, and at least you're not faffing around for ages.

To be honest a 10 year old boy is probably more likely to make women and girls uncomfortable by inadvertently unsubtly starting at them in the way children do, than (most) adult men in a mixed changing room who would be likely to be facing the wall and getting on with changing as quickly as possible.

I'm not changing in front of so. One else's 10 Yr old, and I can't imagine my 9 Yr old or 14 Yr old girl being v happy about it either.

Lots of pools they could just walk thru the changing area & go to the public toilets off reception to change, if you would allow that. Disabled loos may be free for a quick change (I am courting fire by suggesting that, I know).

Totally get your dilemma my DS is 10. Thankfully we do have family changing rooms, but if we didn’t I’d not feel comfortable him using the ladies but equally I feel he’s a bit small to be in the men’s by himself, it’s an awkward age.

Would there be an option for him to pop one of those swimming poncho tops and flip flops on poolside and take him to the loos to get dressed?

Mone went from 8.

Sorry op no help here but just solidarity, all common sense goes out the window on mn with these threads- yes, apparently you parent and keep an eye on your children but age 7 you should shove them into a room full of strangers to get changed while they help and look after their children in the other room!!!

I have a very small ten year old who used to HATE the men’s - teenagers pushing by, young boys being mean and men standing nearby getting changed. the people on this thread are so lucky they’ve never actually dealt with a small boy basically changing soaking wet cos he’s scared. His older brothers are there now so he’s fine but most don’t have that luxury

The people on here can say all they want, it’s scary for smaller boys in the men’s, sure I heard on the radio the other day of all the instances of smaller kids in secondary not using boys toilets or changing room because they’re afraid (ds15 said he totally understood when he heard it- I was incredulous)

There was nobody else changing. I have explained that above xx

I feel exactly the same as you do, I don't want my ds changing in a room full of naked men and I know he can't be in the women's and I don't want him changing in front of anyone without a cubicle, frankly.

We go to a pool with cubicle changing and used family cubicles until at about 8/9 he started changing in the cubicle nearest to me.

I also ask him never to use a urinal in a men's toilets, only a cubicle. My brother was deliberately flashed at by a male with an erection as a grown man in a public toilet, I just feel so worried about my son going into open men's rooms solo so I go further for mixed sex individual cubicle changing.

Is he not going to find his own physical changes worrying if he's never seen a naked male relation? I'd hate my teen boys to get their only notions of adult male nudity from porn. Seriously you might want to give this some thought.

Ten year old children are just that - children. Saying that a ten year old boy will be ‘looking’ at the girls is sexualising the child unnecessarily. The kid will be with his mom, changing. Yes, girls have the right to get dressed without being uncomfortable or at risk, of course they do. But you can’t liken a primary school aged child changing with their parent to hordes of random men coming into the ladies’ changing rooms and staring at people. People cope when swimming at the lake / beach don’t they? Where there are no changing rooms? People cover up with towels etc, it’s normal human behaviour. Once the child gets to secondary age then I guess it becomes a different matter, but a ten year old with his mom, this is not unreasonable or unusual.

It is very unusual in the UK.