Swimming pool changing rooms dilemma

[Canyoumakemeporridge]

Recently signed up for pool and gym membership. Got DS10 swim membership too. Changing rooms are seperate sexes.
Reception said I could take him into ladies with me. There's 2 cubicles in ladies change but most ladies just get dressed at the benches/lockers.

I've taken him alone twice so far and taken him into ladies changing. I go in first and make sure nobody naked, I post him into a cubicle and get him out when it's safe. Last time we went I saw a sign that said no boys over 7 allowed in ladies changing.

He won't go in men's changing on his own and I don't want him to either.

There's toilets he can change in near reception but he'd still have to go through one of the changing rooms to reach the pool.

What would you do? Does anyone have any thoughts about how we can do this? His dad came once so that was fine as he was with him, but it's going to be me and DS alone mostly at pool. The men's changing have no cubicles.

He's an awkward age where he's still wee but too big to be in ladies...

By 10 my kids would have been mortified to be on the opposite sex changing rooms.

It's too old. He shouldn't be in with you.

Sorry this was in reply to someone who said their boy went in the mens at 8. I wondered if they went alone or with an older make. Maybe I quoted wrong person sorry x

I take it you've never read any of the regular 'boy in women's toilet' threads then?

This issue comes up so often I'm surprised there isn't a board for it.

Ds (8) will not willingly set foot in the women's changing rooms or toilets and hasn't for a while now. As far as I know all his friends are the same.

He just goes in the men's when I take him and his sister swimming (limited cubicals, mostly open changing) but after his swimming lessons which finish at 7.30 on a school night, he just throws his poncho towel on, wriggles out of his trunks, dries enough to put his pants and tracksuit on and showers at home. Takes him roughly a minute.

I never saw my mum or dad completely naked. It really doesn't have to be a thing. If you're happy to be seen naked fine and if you're not that's also fine.

I'd agree with earlier posters that it's a safeguarding issue sending any child alone into a changing area. I'd do as others suggest and just get DS to throw on a dry robe and some flip flops and take him.home to change.

That would have taken my son about 15 minutes! And while they're in there there's nothing you can do about it.

Can't he just do what my step brothers do and wear his bathing trunks under some shorts like undies? Ten is more than old enough to be changing alone. You have to encourage him to be more independent and sadly that means changing alone in the men's changing rooms at the swimming baths

I would get him into swim kit at home with clothes (onesie?) on top. He can do a quick change either poolside or in the loo on the way in.

He will have to walk through the mens to the pool, but he is going to have to learn to cope with that very soon, certainly before secondary school trips etc so think of this as easing him in.

If you can, take a dry robe poolside and he gets out of the water, puts that on and comes home in it or perhaps get changed in loo.

I'm confused.

I also think it’s really crap that male changing rooms are so
badly equipped compared to females. Why ? My sons all tell me that they don’t have cubical sand separation in showers and no hairdryers whereas they womens all have this

You don’t think there’s anything wrong with a male child being scared to see other males naked? It’s what his body is turning into and he’s scared to see it.

I just find it so odd that people think it’s normal for boys to see naked women and girls and not naked men and boys.

*and

@Elsiebear90 he's not seeing females naked either. He doesn't want to see anyone naked. He's a wee boy x

He hasn't seen either parent naked. Me and my husband both haven't seen our own parents naked.
Didnt know that was wrong.

Dry robe and send him into the men's with a rape alarm. Or change in the toilets and walk through the men's to meet you at the pool.

The reality, whatever anyone else says about it all being fine, is that as a vulnerable child, he is at risk from predatory men in the men's. And although you'll be told that the risk is "miniscule", it probably isn't. And he might not even tell you if anything at the less serious end of the spectrum happened because he'd be embarrassed. But he's too old to change in the women's so you and he need to come up with other ways to keep him safe.

Possibly a 9/10 year old girl

For some reason I’ve seen a lot more stories of boys being taking into women’s chasing rooms/toilets at older ages than girls seem to

Because an older girls using the women's changing rooms would be entirely expected and not something to start a thread about? 

What is there to be confused at @Canyoumakemeporridge , as parents he really should have glimpsed side eyed or outright seen his dad naked to be introduced slowly to what normal male genitalia looks like. To be introduced in an age appropriate way as to his own upcoming bodily changes.
as soon as my boys could pull up their own track bottoms they started going in appropriate male facilities (ones that were quiet, like coffee shops, restaurants etc) and yes by 5 in the boys change room as part of swim lessons and club. Airports where everyone is in a rush are fine for boys as well.
I suggest the male in his life steps up to the parenting plate.

Partly because women are more likely to take their children swimming and partly because men pose more danger to children than women do.

I know someone who takes the nearly 10 year old step daughter in the men’s changing rooms with him after swimming (no cubicles) and apparantley I’M the weird one for saying that’s innapropriate!!

If one engages a few brain cells, it might become apparent why unattended children are at greater risk in men's than women's changing-rooms/toilets.

I struggled with this exact issue with my son though, luckily had a poolside toilet so that solved our issue but I can also recommend a dry robe type thing or a onesie and then get changed when home.

I meant I don’t here as many stories of girls using the men’s at that age if that makes sense

Yeh that makes sense

See my comment slightly further up 😢