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Original poster

Should we pay?!

376 replies

Mumlife80 · 25/07/2023 19:54

Ok...so need some advice plz...I was watching my sisters two boys...age 10..and 7...i have a lively 3 yr old and while they were eating at the table my 3 yr old knocked the 7yr olds glasses onto the tiled floor breaking the frame under one of the lens...the cost to repair them is £75 and my partner is steadfast against paying for them while i think we should...my sister i think is expecting us to pay for them...what would you do??...my partner believes that because i was doing her a favour looking after her boys that should warrant not paying...also that our boy is only 3 and didnt know better...he thinks my sister is out of order expecting us to pay!! What do you all think? Thanks

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arethereanyleftatall · 25/07/2023 21:49

How often are you looking after her children op? And is it reciprocated in some form or other?

Because if it's loads, I actually agree with your dh.

I would be offering to pay for the glasses, but if she's taking the piss with childcare, then that would stop. So it's possibly not in her interest to make you pay.

Otherwise you're essentially paying to look after her kids if your ds makes a mistake!

BigBeeee · 25/07/2023 21:50

Next time she wants you to look after her kids I would tell her I was sorry but I couldn't afford to as I'd have to pay if anything gets broken.

I hope you haven't been looking after your children for free if she is billing you for the broken glasses.

Also, the NHS replaces kids' glasses if they are broken or lost.

Original poster
Mumlife80 · 25/07/2023 21:51

amiold · 25/07/2023 21:44

@sandyhappypeople no I didn't. Apologies everyone I don't know if I've glitched or just missed it but yeah behaviour needs addressed. If I was the sister I wouldn't send my child there if that's the case. Probably not the first time somethings happened and that's why sister wants the money.

My 3 yr old has never grabbed glasses of anyone b4 this...my partner wears glasses and never had issues with him...
Also...i never agree to look after her kids...most of the time she lands with them and i feel ive no choice...thats why my partner is so frustrated..its not the money at all...its her attitude...i WANT to pay and most likely will...i was curious as to what other people would do in this situation
Im a pretty seasoned parent...my 3yr old is my fourth so to anyone that assumes my parenting is inadequate then LOL

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PeachF · 25/07/2023 21:53

My niece did the same thing, pulled my sons glasses off his face snapping the frame. My brother immediately offered to pay but my niece is only two and these things happen so I declined and said I'd pay no worries.
I would have offered to pay straight away too if it had of been the other way around and I'm sure my brother would have politely declined my offer the same as I did but morally, it's the right thing to offer.

I guess it depends financially too, if I knew such a repair was a huge burden for the parent, I would insist on footing the bill even if they declined. Perhaps your sister can't really afford £75?

arethereanyleftatall · 25/07/2023 21:54

What so she just turns up at your house with her dc, then leaves?!? Often ?!?

PeachF · 25/07/2023 21:54

I've just read your latest comment though and perhaps with your sister being pretty selfish and dropping her kids on you, I wouldn't 😂🫣

HundredMilesAnHour · 25/07/2023 21:55

Mumlife80 · 25/07/2023 20:29

He grabbed them off the 7yr olds face and threw them on the the tiled floor thinking it was funny...

Then you definitely pay.

NotBotheredAnymore · 25/07/2023 21:56

Your child deliberately grabbed them off a child's face.
Your child deliberately threw them on the floor.

Of course you need to pay for them. What kind of question is that?!?

And your child needs to be taught that he should never ever touch them. What if he had grabbed a random strangers glasses on the bus and broke them, or run up to another child in the park?

OhComeOnFFS · 25/07/2023 21:57

You have four children and she dumps hers on you?

I would pay the optician, not her, and then I'd tell her that I wouldn't mind her children again.

Original poster
Mumlife80 · 25/07/2023 21:58

PeachF · 25/07/2023 21:53

My niece did the same thing, pulled my sons glasses off his face snapping the frame. My brother immediately offered to pay but my niece is only two and these things happen so I declined and said I'd pay no worries.
I would have offered to pay straight away too if it had of been the other way around and I'm sure my brother would have politely declined my offer the same as I did but morally, it's the right thing to offer.

I guess it depends financially too, if I knew such a repair was a huge burden for the parent, I would insist on footing the bill even if they declined. Perhaps your sister can't really afford £75?

I immediately offered to pay but she said they could get them fixed for free but then after coming back from opticians she told me no...they cost 75 to fix...i said to her i will talk to DP about it...she never said anything so im assuming shes expecting payment...i need to clear it up with her

OP posts:
Batalax · 25/07/2023 21:58

Yup offer and continue the minding but cut back a fair bit.

Original poster
Mumlife80 · 25/07/2023 21:59

arethereanyleftatall · 25/07/2023 21:54

What so she just turns up at your house with her dc, then leaves?!? Often ?!?

Yip...alot...or else its a phonecall to say shes on her way etc...

OP posts:
WisherWood · 25/07/2023 22:00

Mumlife80 · 25/07/2023 20:29

He grabbed them off the 7yr olds face and threw them on the the tiled floor thinking it was funny...

I was leaning towards you paying anyway but with that detail, yes, you pay.

arethereanyleftatall · 25/07/2023 22:00

Pay. Then on the next phone call 'no'.

amiold · 25/07/2023 22:02

@Mumlife80 as I said you need ten sets of eyes. You know your situation best. If you want to pay then pay, why do you need to speak to your husband for that to be allowed?

I get your point though. You're burdened with her kids and due to an accident it's cost you money. I imagine you feed her kids too? Stop baby sitting for her

Tapasgoofy · 25/07/2023 22:03

Mumlife80 · 25/07/2023 20:29

He grabbed them off the 7yr olds face and threw them on the the tiled floor thinking it was funny...

Why do you even need to ask…. Your son broke them on purpose so
of course you should pay!

sandyhappypeople · 25/07/2023 22:03

Mumlife80 · 25/07/2023 21:59

Yip...alot...or else its a phonecall to say shes on her way etc...

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So why are you going along with this?

ZickZack · 25/07/2023 22:03

Mumlife80 · 25/07/2023 20:29

He grabbed them off the 7yr olds face and threw them on the the tiled floor thinking it was funny...

Was on the fence until this comment. Definitely your responsibility and not an accident

Toobusytoocare · 25/07/2023 22:03

I was going to say not to pay if they were just knocked off table but it clearly wasn’t an accident so I would offer to pay.
Having said that I personally would have bought cheaper frames for a 7 year old !

TomatoSandwiches · 25/07/2023 22:06

If she's a cheeky fucker with dropping her children off and expecting free childcare then it's not much of a stretch to think she could have seen an opportunity to get £75 out of you op.
I would need a receipt before paying as others here have insisted they have never had to pay for their children's glass repairs before so why does your nephews need paying for?

Original poster
Mumlife80 · 25/07/2023 22:06

Toobusytoocare · 25/07/2023 22:03

I was going to say not to pay if they were just knocked off table but it clearly wasn’t an accident so I would offer to pay.
Having said that I personally would have bought cheaper frames for a 7 year old !

As far as im aware they are designer glasses...my sister is well off

OP posts:
xprincessxjanetx · 25/07/2023 22:08

You should be paying or at least offering it to your sister. My 3yo DS is severely autistic, non-verbal and has very little comprehension and I would still pay if he did this. It isn't about whether it's deliberate or not, it's the principal.

The childcare is a separate issue and you shouldn't allow that to cloud your judgement on this issue, but you definitely should address the childcare issue as well as it isn't suiting you any more.

arethereanyleftatall · 25/07/2023 22:10

I wish you'd included that they were designer glasses, your sister is well off, that your son ripped them off his face, and that she dumps her kids on you for childcare all the time in your op, op.

I think it then would have been a unanimous pay for the glasses then tell her to fuck off with the childcare.

TomatoSandwiches · 25/07/2023 22:11

Mumlife80 · 25/07/2023 22:06

As far as im aware they are designer glasses...my sister is well off

Show quote history

I'm sure not paying for childcare keeps her in the green!

Separate issues obviously, pay for the glasses after getting the receipt and start putting your foot down with random drop offs if it doesn't suit you.

tt9 · 25/07/2023 22:11

op... I would describe grabbing glasses off someone's face and throwing on the floor intentional. not exactly an accident! perhaps in need of a little loving boundary setting?

either way, should pay for replacement...