Should we pay?!

[Mumlife80]

Ok...so need some advice plz...I was watching my sisters two boys...age 10..and 7...i have a lively 3 yr old and while they were eating at the table my 3 yr old knocked the 7yr olds glasses onto the tiled floor breaking the frame under one of the lens...the cost to repair them is £75 and my partner is steadfast against paying for them while i think we should...my sister i think is expecting us to pay for them...what would you do??...my partner believes that because i was doing her a favour looking after her boys that should warrant not paying...also that our boy is only 3 and didnt know better...he thinks my sister is out of order expecting us to pay!! What do you all think? Thanks

@mrsm43s maybe, but if it was my child that this has happened to I would get new glasses rather than a repair. That's all.

Nope, you don't need to have ten sets of eyes and hands to stop a 3 year old pulling a pair of glasses of and throwing them on the floor. Just normal, appropriate supervision, and frankly, by 3 they should already know that's not acceptable behaviour.

I think your partner is being unreasonable. I would pay, especially as he’s pulled them off your nephews face and thrown them on the floor because he thinks it’s funny.
The childcare is a separate issue.

I do think I would be asking to see the receipt before paying her the money though!

Ahh, I see what this is. Night honey, hope you feel better for this 😘

This is the hill I die on with my two year old, she is forbidden to touch my glasses, knock them, or grab at them, they are fairly robust glasses but I've literally glued them together about 8 times now from when she broke them as a baby (understandably). Glasses are bloody expensive and if you're short sighted like me it's a massive pain in the arse when they break. she knows well and good now that glasses are completely off limits, and fun happy mummy, turns into sad unhappy mummy, so she doesn't seem to bother with them at all now, if she even tries to pick them up or touch them gently I just give her a warning alongside the look of doom and she leaves them alone.

In fairness to OP, if no one else wears glasses around the 3 year old, they may not have learnt this lesson so early on though!

I think you should pay.

I also think you should have a conversation with your sister about how the ages of the children mean the regular childcare is getting to be too much. Maybe it’s time to just keep swapping care for one another down to a minimum for a bit. Emergencies and the very occasional date night instead of a regular arrangement.

It wasn't an accident. Your child did it deliberately. Yes he's only three, but it's not like he sat on them by accident. Your DH being angry at your sister makes no sense.

I'd tell her to get them fixed and give me the receipt so I can pay for it. I'd be surprised if it costs £75.

I missed this update, you 100% need to pay. That isn’t an ‘accident’, your DS is young yes but it wasn’t an accident. Even more shocked that your DH wants to disown your sister over it now the CF!

Have you read the OP's update (drip feed)? Snatching glasses off another child's face and throwing them onto a tiled floor 'because it's funny' isn't an 'accident' in your book surely?

exactly, however lenient you are with your child in other ways, no touching of glasses has to be taught and taught well.

It might be that the 3 year old has no one with glasses in his family, but even so, this is a rule that should be very clear to them

He may be like me, I almost always take them off to eat, or any other close-up activity. It's the reason that I constantly lose mine!

Oooh OP you called someone Karen.

Awful.

Pay for the glasses, stop being such a twat.

once the misogynistic slurs come out that is the end of any rational discussion.

You should pay as a MN fine for describing your three year old as lively.

Accidents happen, 3yo behave age appropriately which sometimes leads to things getting broken. If the 3yo hasn't had much access to facial accessories then they won't have learned not to touch them. 3yo can be fast!

But at the end of the day, someone is out of pocket due to the behaviour of your child (age appropriate and adequately supervised or not). So you should pay.

If your sister is a cheeky fucker re child care, that's a seperate issue and needs addressing separately.

@sandyhappypeople no I didn't. Apologies everyone I don't know if I've glitched or just missed it but yeah behaviour needs addressed. If I was the sister I wouldn't send my child there if that's the case. Probably not the first time somethings happened and that's why sister wants the money.

You pay, or offer to.

Due to the information you have provided.

Could have been a stranger on the bus or a cafe, then what?

But, if I was your sister I would probably decline, and buy you a safety harness so they eat together

And look at the nhs links others have sent and show them to her.

You have two separate issues:

Your child broke another child’s glasses (of course you should pay)

You are providing a lot of free childcare (you should review if that works for you and whether you should be charging/saying no)

The two are largely independent of each other unless your 3 year old is a holy terror and really shouldn’t be around other people at the moment. In that case you should still pay for the glasses but refuse to do childcare on the grounds he can’t be trusted around other people because of his violent/destructive tendencies.

My children both wear glasses and are forever breaking them and/or losing them. I’ve never had to pay to fix or replace them. And they are always fixed or replaced quickly and I don’t even go to a cheaper place like specsavers which is likely to do this for free too.

In addition to this, one of my children has glasses that are too expensive for the nhs to cover the full price (due to disability, not because I want designer) and even them glasses I don’t pay to fix.

its a rubbish situation to be in but I would pay out of embarrassment that your child did this on purpose (even if they don’t understand what they are doing)

This changes everything. Of course you should pay.
Don't let it ruin your relationship with your sister. Just do the right thing.

Your partner sounds like an ass.

At least offer to pay and see what she says. Maybe agree on half. My nephew broke 2 things in one day in my house, one a birthday gift my 11 year old had just gotten. My nephew is 4. It wasn't intentional. My sister offered to pay but I didn't accept. It was an accident. But I know people's circumstances are different so offer to pay. I wouldn't refuse to mind the kids again if she makes you pay but I would cut back hugely.

Yea, you need to pay for the glasses.

Pay for the glasses.
Your child deliberately broke them