Should we pay?!

[Mumlife80]

Ok...so need some advice plz...I was watching my sisters two boys...age 10..and 7...i have a lively 3 yr old and while they were eating at the table my 3 yr old knocked the 7yr olds glasses onto the tiled floor breaking the frame under one of the lens...the cost to repair them is £75 and my partner is steadfast against paying for them while i think we should...my sister i think is expecting us to pay for them...what would you do??...my partner believes that because i was doing her a favour looking after her boys that should warrant not paying...also that our boy is only 3 and didnt know better...he thinks my sister is out of order expecting us to pay!! What do you all think? Thanks

Not quiet an accident, then. In this case I would absolutely pay.

You have a lively 3 year old = your child was dicking around at the table and damaged something.

Is "lively" another word for naughty these days? He pulled them off the 7 year old & deliberately threw them & thought it was funny. Pay up!

I would pay for them if it were me

It's costing her, in the long run, if she no longer has you as her handy babysitter. I think it was a bit mean of her to take the whole amount, tbh. Splitting it would have been fairer.

Stick to your guns now about the babysitting!

Definitely you should pay.

That is just stupid behaviour and not remotely accidental.

Absolutely.
Whenever someone inserts an adjective like ''Lively'' or ''Boisterous'' you just know the kid/s are likely to be a pain to be around.

This. Two of mine wear glasses. Thankfully they’re not too hard on glasses but if the frames get bent or broken or it lenses get badly scratched they’re replaced under NHS. I too have to pay extra for thinning. The only way I’d pay for frames would be if they were a brand like Rayban or Tommy Hilfiger.

If I was in anyone’s house and my child broke something I would certainly feel it was my responsibility. My child is my responsibility and if my child broke something then it’s my responsibility if he breaks something. Your husband may well not want to pay but doing a favour for your sister that costs her £75 is an expensive favour.

Mmmm I’d want that verified. I think either the optician or your sister might be wrong. My daughter had her eye test today. The optician checked her glasses and they were very slightly twisted - I hadn’t noticed. She probably sat on them. The legs were undamaged. We were told to pick new frames as if they tried to straighten them out they might be weaker. My two kids also have a second spare pair in case of accidents. I think for this second pair the lenses are free but I pay for frames which are no non designer and usually cost between £20 to £40.

I think your DH isn’t being very nice about this. If the boot was on the other foot and your sisters child had came to your house, snatched your DHs glasses and smashed them would he brush it off not expect her to replace them??? Sounds like he is just looking to get a dig at your sister and trying to drive a wedge between you.

I’d paid if I knew for definite that she was going to be out of pocket £75.

I hope your sister doesn't develop a very loose definition of 'an emergency'.

Of course you did the right thing in paying up OP. You or your child breaks something then you pay up. Your partner was unreasonable.

However, sounds like it will be £75 well spent if you end up doing less unofficial childminding!

Absolutely you should pay it wasn't an accident your child deliberately pulled them off and threw them while your there teach your child ( and husband) that kind of behaviour is not OK

Of course your child didn't know better, he is three! But that is not the point. Damage costs money whether it is deliberate, accidental or caused by someone too young to realise what he is doing. You are responsible for damage caused by your child, it is one of the many expenses of being a parent.

You are responsible for damage your children do.

Yep they think it in some way excuses their behaviour, usually because they haven't bothered to parent and try and teach them how to behave. When called out they usually use the line "They're only little so don't know" well start making sure they do know! It doesn't go in via osmosis it goes in via decent parenting and expectations to behave at the table.

Well yes it sounds as if the sister will lose out in the long run!

Or maybe she'll just find someone else to dump her kids on?

If it's not covered by the NHS I'd probably pay. If your sister says he'd lost them he would get a free pair. Dd3 is 15 and has lost her glasses before and they were replaced for free. A few months ago she broke a lens ( rock climbing) and they were fixed for free.

Yes, I have 4 dc but good parenting means by the age of 3 they understand not to grab things and throw them. Obviously a one year old wouldn't! Discipline and boundaries need to be introduced in an age appropriate way but it's no use waiting until they're older.

If she asks I would either

1. pay
2. offer to pay half.

but then in future for any further free childcare state clearly you cannot be held responsible for any breakages and recommended child comes in old glasses and old clothes.

(if me i would thank sister for offer of money but decline as kids break glasses all the time).

OP has paid @Noodles1234 and sorted childcare issue with her sister

I would absolutely offer to pay. As far as your husband, the way I see it you are not “helping out with childcare”, you are having family over. The cost of childcare in the UK totally skews our perspective on how normal it is everywhere in the world to have extended family spend time together.

She has paid @Catza and it is a bit more than just having family over, sister is doing it a lot as OP is a SAHM, but she has had words with her now to stop taking advantage

your sister can claim a new pair of glasses for him, for the NHS. You should be paying any excess. If she’s trying to claim the entire cost off you, she’s a CF. Your child needs to learn about not snatching glasses from peoples faces.