Do you Judge a person by the size of their house?

[Jazzhands7]

My kids friend got picked up by her friend’s Mum after coming over after school. She’d never been to our house before but we’d had pleasant conversations on the phone and at school.

However, when she picked her daughter up she looked absolutely disgusted at the size of our house. That’s the only thing I can think of? I keep my house insanely clean and well kept.

Our yard is a bit messy but that’s because it’s going to be levelled soon and new landscaping put in.

If you are a person that judges someone on the size of their house what is going through your head because I genuinely don’t understand it?

Needless to say I think my child has lost a friend because of it which I find really sad.

How do you know it was the size that was the issue?

How do you know she was judging the size of your house? Honestly, if your house as clean and tidy as you say, if I were that woman I’d be thinking “I need to up my game” - I really struggle keeping my place super tidy and feel like DD (and sometimes DH) leave a trail of destruction behind them. You’ve assumed she’s judging you but she may have just had a crap day before coming to collect her DC or is equally judging herself?
if she is judging the size of your house then better you found out now because you don’t need to associate with people like that quite frankly.

How do you actually know any of this is true?

I don't assume anything about people, if you assume someone is being judgemental about you without knowing that says more about you to be honest

You really want to accuse her of judging.
😉😁😁😁

If I walk in to an “insanely” clean house my first thought is normally “god, I could never invite them to our house, they’d judge me so much for it”.

I think you’re making a weird leap. “Needless to say” your child has lost a friend?! Even if she was judging your house, which is not confirmed, why can’t your kids be friends?

There was a pretty obvious disgusted look on her face as she was looking around my partner noticed it too.

I am in no way saying she is a bad person. I just personally don’t understand the judgement towards people that respond like that. I genuinely don’t.

Also you are clearly being judgmental by the response to my post which goes against what you just wrote previously to that.

I have no idea how you can possibly tell she was disgusted at the size of your house! That seems an odd assumption to jump to.

In all likelihood she probably wasn't even disgusted/judging anything at all, she may have been thinking about absolutely anything else and didn't realise she had a look on her face.

How weird Absolutely not. If the family is going to be hosting a child or teen of mine I am on the lookout though to see if you seem like a decent reliable person so guess I am judging that.

Because it was big or small? Sorry did you say before that
It was a school friend's mum. Assuming your DC is at a state school, local houses are different but pretty similar. Unless she really lives in a mansion and you didn't know.

Is your house big or small? This is very strange.

I don't judge people on the size of their houses, no.

I judge people by their sense of humour, hygiene, and manners.

I do not care about size of house at all, but if the front garden was a very neglected dump I would be a bit worried about leaving my child there as that says to me that the parents can’t be bothered to look after anything properly. And I wouldn’t leave my child in a house with a dog unless I knew it well.

It’s possible her expression was nothing to do with you. I have a friend who often glares at everyone including strangers, when she’s thinking about her job. It’s so embarrassing as I see others think “why does this stranger hate me?!”

Maybe she was judging you on your insanely clean house? Or maybe your choice of flooring? Or your curtains? Or your lack of pets? Or your pets? Or whatever?

Sorry OP, but I just find it strange that you are so sure that she was judging the size of your house!

She could just have a resting bitch face.

Perhaps it smelt?

And no, I don't judge people on the size of their houses.

You didn't mention what theyd had for school dinner perchance?..

Neither do I. I don't know anyone who does. I would only judge someone's house if it was filthy snd smelly.

No op. No one does.

What a random assumption you have made

how on earth did her ‘disgusted’ look equate to her jduging your house size!? (Not saying something didnt disgust her as we werent there but to assume its down to house size is a bit odd )

are you projecting your feelings of your house onto the woman?

I judge people by how many bookcases they have. (Also quite shallow, I know).

Might have been judging the decor?

I would never judge a house size, or mess or cleanliness because life happens.

However, I have a face which means no matter what I am thinking about it shows- it is probably the fact it was so clean, she was thinking shit I better up my game.

Honestly? I really, really don't think this is a thing. I think you must have misunderstood. Invite the child again and see what happens.

I suspect you’ve misinterpreted. She may have been thinking god mine should be so tidy. You also don’t say if it’s big or small. It’s hard to understand but I do wonder if you’ve got an issue with the size of your house which you are projecting. And why would you child loose a friend, kids don’t care about that stuff. It’s generally the adults and the owner not the visitor.

id think carefully if you’ve an issue about your house

Do you insist on a full house tour to audit the number? Bedrooms included?

I'm assuming you don't have a shelf fetish and it's yhe books you're interested in, do you quiz then to make sure theyve been read? What about ebooks or library readers?

It must be a minefield coming to a judgement

Perhaps she just has an RBF.