Do you Judge a person by the size of their house?

[Jazzhands7]

My kids friend got picked up by her friend’s Mum after coming over after school. She’d never been to our house before but we’d had pleasant conversations on the phone and at school.

However, when she picked her daughter up she looked absolutely disgusted at the size of our house. That’s the only thing I can think of? I keep my house insanely clean and well kept.

Our yard is a bit messy but that’s because it’s going to be levelled soon and new landscaping put in.

If you are a person that judges someone on the size of their house what is going through your head because I genuinely don’t understand it?

Needless to say I think my child has lost a friend because of it which I find really sad.

So just to clarify for us all. Regularly you meet people and get so friendly with them they invite you to their home, and you go. But up to this point, with your over riding love of books, you do not question if they read or not. And then once you go to their home. If you do not see books on display, you bin them off. This is what you’re telling people?

@Fidelina

So you love to read, and you love it so much that you would only ever consider friendships with fellow avid readers. Bit weird, but ok, your choice.

But how to find these people? Talk to them? Perhaps mention a book you're reading? Nope. You just check the downstairs rooms in their homes for books.

Doesn't matter what the books are or if they've ever actually read them.

I have a degree in Literature but I don’t have books on display 🤷‍♀️

It's so insanely improbably that she was judging you on the size of your house- and to the extent that it was visible on her face- that I think it really must be something else. Either that's just her face or there was some interaction with you that bothered her that you didn't notice or anything else, frankly- it sounds as if maybe you're self-conscious about your house and projected that onto her, because there is really no reason why a nice, normal person would appear openly contemptuous of a perfectly ordinary house.

Excellent posts @Janieforever.

Before kindles were invented my BIL once asked me where all my books were (in a sneering "you don't have many books, do you" kind of way, which is normal for him).

We had four large bookshelves full of books at the time, so I pointed out that we didn't have room to display any more books and we had a perfectly good library down the road.

I'm not into material possessions like he is and all new fiction books are on my kindle.

I still prefer non fiction as books, so my downstairs bookshelves are mainly full of recipe books and various other non fiction. I keep fiction that I think I might read again, but recycle any others by donating to charity and other fund raising causes as I just don't have the space.

Oh, and incidentally @StellaJohanna I have a lot of paintings on my walls - mainly painted by my very talented grandmother and uncle.

This "on display" thing is weird. My books are visable on my bookshelf. It's the convenient place to put them so I can take one to read. I'm not "displaying" them any more than I'm "displaying" the shoes in my porch or the mugs on my mug tree or my kettle, toaster any other item in my home that's visible. Do people put anything other than artwork, ornaments and photos "on display"?

Dd has a newish friend and their house is insane. There’s wealthy and there is next level which they are. Lovely normal girl but my god!! Dd says she’s quite self conscious about it. She happily stays at our normal house.

She doesn’t sound like a good person to me. Hi

The performative book display posts are in response to the superior posters who think that people who don't display books on bookshelves don't read.

Here are some examples:
mildlydispeptic · Today 07:28 - I judge people by how many bookcases they have. (Also quite shallow, I know).

Monster80 · Today 08:34 mildlydispeptic · Today 07:28 I judge people by how many bookcases they have. (Also quite shallow, I know). - This

floodywell · Today 08:58 mildlydispeptic · Today 07:28 I judge people by how many bookcases they have. (Also quite shallow, I know). - I'll get kicked for agreeing with you, but I agree with you.

StellaJohanna · Today 10:42 mildlydispeptic · Today 07:28 I judge people by how many bookcases they have. (Also quite shallow, I know). - LOL same. No bookcases, no art on the walls - tells you a lot.

Do you see why posters are getting defensive about these sneery remarks?

I also keep my books on bookcases because that is where they live. I have even more books on my kindle.

And I agree. All very shallow !!! Real readers would discuss books with friends and wouldn't need to see a "display" of books to know they read.

Glad my friends aren't so shallow 😉.

I meant to respond to the comments saying books out is performative. I've never heard such a take
It's strange that people think this. Do they think a kettle on the side screams "look at me! I make tea!" Or toilet paper visible in the bathroom is saying "my bum is clean!" People put stuff where they like it kept.

Snap! I never realised my visitors were mentally categorising me as some sort of illiterate lump because the walls aren’t covered in books.

MN always reminds me of Jerry Seinfeld saying “People keep them [books] in their house like they’re trophies.”

@Maree1986

I meant to respond to the comments saying books out is performative. I've never heard such a take

It's interesting that so many avid readers are struggling with reading comprehension on this thread.

No one has said that having books out is performative

However, when she picked her daughter up she looked absolutely disgusted at the size of our house. That’s the only thing I can think of?

at your ability to interpret this woman's face, into this conclusion.
Then start a thread, talking about her being judgemental

Exactly. And we don’t need to do we. We’ve kind of proved we can find our way around a book 🤣