Do you Judge a person by the size of their house?

[Jazzhands7]

My kids friend got picked up by her friend’s Mum after coming over after school. She’d never been to our house before but we’d had pleasant conversations on the phone and at school.

However, when she picked her daughter up she looked absolutely disgusted at the size of our house. That’s the only thing I can think of? I keep my house insanely clean and well kept.

Our yard is a bit messy but that’s because it’s going to be levelled soon and new landscaping put in.

If you are a person that judges someone on the size of their house what is going through your head because I genuinely don’t understand it?

Needless to say I think my child has lost a friend because of it which I find really sad.

Maybe it is just her face, if you don't know her well you cannot be so sure you are interpreting her face correctly!

I only judge if someone's house is a bomb site or filthy.
I once walked into my friend's house (she has a demanding job, a baby and a husband who doesn't pull his weight) and genuinely thought the house had been burgled! I had to actively work on adjusting my face so that my reaction didn't show! And of course all I thought afterwards was 'bless her, she's struggling to juggle everything'.
But judging the size?! Odd. You could live in a stunning, architecturally-designed 2-up 2-down, or a massive 6-bed detached shit hole!

All of my bookcases are in the study which is always kept shut so your judgement would be inaccurate at my house.

How very odd. Do people actually have to show you their books and if they don’t you judge people who have been kind and welcoming enough to invite you into their home? Mine are in closed cupboard not in the living room.

how horrible.

Must be her resting bitch face OP. People always think I'm livid when I'm not!

No, never, and it sounds like you’ve misunderstood

Well if your assumption is true then you're obviously better off without people like that in your life. We used to live in a tiny cottage in a posh village and i was always uncomfortable bringing people back, but more because it was so bloody cramped and parking was a nightmare. If anyone judged us because we chose a tiny house in a beautiful location over a bigger house elsewhere then that's their issue, not ours. (Ironically, we eventually did give up and bought a new build elsewhere as DD started to get bigger and needed more space)

Kids will be friends with who they choose to. As much as parents like to think otherwise, they take no notice.

Maybe she hated your decor?

'Insanely clean' makes me think of Mrs Hinch...

An insanely clean house would make me reluctant to invite you to my house for fear that you'd judge me and I'd worry that my child might make a mess at your house so the friendship might cool but it wouldn't be to do with the size of the hosue

Some people do judge by material measures. My MIL looked down her nose at my flat when we first met. I know she judged it because she told me!

But she is considered the poor relation in her family with her perfectly nice 3 bed terrace. Instead of breaking the cycle of making people think they are worth less for what they have, she passed on the baton of judgement.

More likely it was the decor she was judging, also I used to have a friend who described her house as ‘insanely clean’ and would tell us how long she had spent cleaning her house but it definitely wasn’t and it smelled quite strongly of wet dog 😂

How would she even know the size of your house, I assume at most she went into your living room and kitchen only? Mine looks like it has 2 floors at the from the front but is actually 3.

Is your house big or small?

Most of my books are upstairs.

I think in the overwhelming majority of houses using your eyes can tell you how big they are 😂

Most of us don't live in TARDIS

And on my kindle.

I don’t understand why your dd has lost a friend. As long as the parents are ok to have play dates, you don’t have to be friends with them. Just cordial.

How bizarre to do that. My home is full of books, and not a bookcase in sight. You will not see the books either. I have something which I believe is called a cupboard.

You are making a massive assumption OP, and declaring your child can no longer be friends with hers.

You have no idea what she was thinking, and you are being ridiculous

Why do you think she was disgusted by the size of your house, if you say it was just a bit messy?

What size is your house? Tiny? Or large?

Weird conclusion to come to.

@VisionsOfSplendour yes, the mantle of judginess rests heavy on one's shoulders, but I take pride in my work. No points deducted for plank-and-brick bookcases, but bonus points for saying, in. Rory Stuart voice: "I'm just re-reading <title>..."

This. Perhaps you have a lot of grey.

Don’t you know the people who invite you into their home? Do you often go to randoms home?

oddest thing I’ve seen on here.

Let it float over you OP. You have a house. You've made it a home.

I have reached that age where I don't care if people judge my shabby small house. I lived with my parents when my DC was tiny. That invited judgement I can tell you.

If somebody looks at your house and wrinkles up her nose, then you know that she's not surrounding her self with friendships based on connection or respect. She wants friendships that fit her lifestyle.

To answer the question in the title, I don't judge but sometimes I wonder how they got to where they are if on the face of it circumstances are the same as mine. In the circumstances you describe pretty sure you've jumped to the wrong conclusion and maybe that's just her face .