Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6

Original poster

Should my kid still pay rent if they are on holiday

147 replies

Claire2437 · 07/07/2023 04:05

My daughter is currently at university and working part-time some months she earns a good wage on top of her student loan and some months she doesnt, when she started university she wasn't working so we agreed she would give us £100 a month. Because her wage changes so much we've never changed this. Her boyfriends family live in another town from us and she is about to go stay with them for a month while she is off uni. My husband and I cant decide if we should still charge her the £100 while she is away. In some ways it feels unfair if she is not here but my husbands reasoning is its teaching her real life that if we went away for a month we couldn't phone our mortgage company and not pay them just because we wont be there.
Sorry for such a long post just looking for some advice on this.
Thanks

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

NaturalStudy · 07/07/2023 04:16

Do you need the £100? I would hope someone at university would already understand the point your DH is making and wouldnt need it 'teaching' to them. Unless she is wildly irresponsible I wouldnt be charging her anything.

WindowsSmindows · 07/07/2023 04:18

I can't believe you charge her anything at all but certainly not if she's not going to be there.

OrangesAndLemming · 07/07/2023 04:24

i wouldn’t change anything. If she was renting privately she would still pay whether there or not.

Having said that like pp I’m very suprised you are charging your student daughter. This is most unusual, typically it’s one of the other, working and paying rent OR student full time. She’s not going to be there forever so you shouldn’t be basing whether or not you can pay the mortgage on your student daughters contribution - she will also be able to get on her own two feet much quicker if you allow her to save that money (or you save it for her, it’s over £3000 in a 3 year degree, plenty for a rental deposit and first months rent in most areas…)

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families General parenting

Ponderingwindow · 07/07/2023 04:40

I wouldn’t charge rent to a child attending university. It’s my job to subsidize them financially through a first degree.

As long as they are a full-time student and taking studies seriously, I would provide as much financial assistance as possible.

Overthebow · 07/07/2023 04:46

I was going to say yes still charge as when you’re on holiday you have to still pay rent/mortgage, but actually I can’t believe you charge at all if she’s a uni student so no I wouldn’t charge.

Honeychickpea · 07/07/2023 04:52

So I guess it's a newsflash to many on Mumsnet that quite a lot of people can't afford to carry their kids through university? The middle class bubble displays again.

Putdownthecake · 07/07/2023 05:07

Hi op, it doesn't say in your opening but does your daughter live at home for her course?

You will get very different answers if she's living away from home for term time

Tourmalines · 07/07/2023 05:14

No , she’s not there so she shouldn’t have to pay anything. She’s not ‘renting’ a room off you, she’s paying board . So not there , no pay . That’s how I see it .

greenspaces4peace · 07/07/2023 05:21

Doesn’t sound like your husband is her father…

Mummyoflittledragon · 07/07/2023 05:41

Do you need to charge her rent? That would be my starting point.

PumpkinsAndCoconuts · 07/07/2023 05:42

I can see both sides tbh.

what are you doing with her ‘rent money’?

some people I know put it into a saving’s account to give their child later in life (only an option if you don’t actually rely on the money, obviously).

Harebrain · 07/07/2023 05:47

Our DD lived at home whilst at Uni and paid us £100 per month rent just like the Op. It was a contribution towards energy costs, food, etc,. She’d have paid much more if she’d been in student accommodation and was a token payment. She wasn’t the only one of her friends to do this; it’s not unusual.

BatheInTheLight · 07/07/2023 05:59

Tourmalines · 07/07/2023 05:14

No , she’s not there so she shouldn’t have to pay anything. She’s not ‘renting’ a room off you, she’s paying board . So not there , no pay . That’s how I see it .

Agreed. Plus, If you can't get a little beneficial treatment from your own parents, who can you get it from?

Husband should be told that this situation isn't like a private rental arrangement and that they shouldn't be taking money for nothing.

FinallyLeavingDenver · 07/07/2023 06:10

No, of course she shouldn’t pay when she’s not there. That’s not at all comparable with you having to continue to pay your mortgage when you are on holiday, that’s a ridiculous argument by your husband.

Northernsoullover · 07/07/2023 06:17

A lot of people lose tax credits and child benefits when children leave FE. My friend did. She didn't charge her daughter but it was awful to watch her struggle while her daughter had PYT parcels arriving every day and takeouts. With reduced student finance for living at home plus a pt job she had 1k per month disposable income and my friend practically zero.
Its not always such a terrible thing to ask for a contribution.

HerMammy · 07/07/2023 06:18

MN don't seem to be aware that many ppl cannot afford to have earning adults living free forever. Paying keep/digs is very commonplace in the real world.

Willmafrockfit · 07/07/2023 06:20

well how did you manage before she went to university?

LaylaLjungberg · 07/07/2023 06:22

Of course she should. £100 is nothing to contribute and it does teach valuable lessons. The replies on this are hilarious.

someone asking if he’s are actual father. What’s posses people to say such nonsense.

Rupiduti · 07/07/2023 06:23

Honeychickpea · 07/07/2023 04:52

So I guess it's a newsflash to many on Mumsnet that quite a lot of people can't afford to carry their kids through university? The middle class bubble displays again.

People aren't asking op to carry their child through university though? Parents should never have children on the basis of them paying rent at 18. I'm assuming is op's daughter was not living at home, they wouldn't be renting her room out to someone else would they?

So no, they shouldn't be profiting £100 from their daughter when she isn't there.

If my parents were in financial trouble, I would help them out where I can as that is what family do of course. It doesn't sound like they are though.

FinallyLeavingDenver · 07/07/2023 06:25

A lot of people lose tax credits and child benefits when children leave FE. My friend did. She didn't charge her daughter but it was awful to watch her struggle while her daughter had PYT parcels arriving every day and takeouts. With reduced student finance for living at home plus a pt job she had 1k per month disposable income and my friend practically zero.
Its not always such a terrible thing to ask for a contribution.

Not when they’re not going to be there though! OPs daughter won’t be adding anything to OP (and her husbands) bills if she’s not there.

Willmafrockfit · 07/07/2023 06:25

op you have to make the decision yourself,

pilates · 07/07/2023 06:27

No, but I wouldn’t be charging rent in the first place.

Willmafrockfit · 07/07/2023 06:27

well of course i struggled when the child benefit finished but i wouldnt dream of charging a student with a part time job

MikeWozniaksMohawk · 07/07/2023 06:27

Maybe it should be suggested to her that she should offer that money to her BF’s parents as a contribution to the extra costs of food etc in their household while she is there for a month.

LoisPrice · 07/07/2023 06:27

If your dd is living at her parent house/home whilst studying and working part time, paying rent. Then when she goes away, does she move all her belongings out if the property? Give her key back, vacate the room?

if not then, rent needs to be paid.

tbh student rents need me are £200 a week, £800 a month for 11 month contracts. £8800 in rent is far different from £1200 for all year round

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6