Should my kid still pay rent if they are on holiday

[Claire2437]

My daughter is currently at university and working part-time some months she earns a good wage on top of her student loan and some months she doesnt, when she started university she wasn't working so we agreed she would give us £100 a month. Because her wage changes so much we've never changed this. Her boyfriends family live in another town from us and she is about to go stay with them for a month while she is off uni. My husband and I cant decide if we should still charge her the £100 while she is away. In some ways it feels unfair if she is not here but my husbands reasoning is its teaching her real life that if we went away for a month we couldn't phone our mortgage company and not pay them just because we wont be there.
Sorry for such a long post just looking for some advice on this.
Thanks

My parents charged me bed and board when I was home for uni in the holidays, and I was working. I don’t think it’s unreasonable, but maybe drop it to £50 for the month she’s away. I’d have to pay my rent at my uni residence, and my parents, it was tough, but my parents could never have afforded to sub me , I was lucky enough to be on a full grant at the time.

She should give it to the BFs parents.

I think teaching lessons are important but there’s a line.

She won’t be there to use the electricity, water or food etc so you won’t lose out financially.

She will have to pay the BFs parents though as she’ll be using their utilities and I don’t think it’s fair to pay twice.

Poor kid. Parents wrangling how they can fleece money from her while she’s away…

@Ponderingwindow
I wouldn’t charge rent to a child attending university. It’s my job to subsidize them financially through a first degree. as long as they are a full-time student and taking studies seriously, I would provide as much financial assistance as possible.
You do know some ppl cannot afford to finance uni completely?

I can't believe you're charging your student daughter anything at all? She's still a student. She will need all the money she can get.
Her part time job will be for her clothes/ toiletries/ makeup / seeing friends and enjoying her student life.
To charge even when she's not there is just disgusting.
I honestly cannot believe what I've just read.

I can understand people not having the money to pay for a degree but if you could afford to not charge your child to live at home before they went to uni, surely you could wait three more years while they complete their education? I am all for charging rent to working adults but not to a student who is getting into debt to get their education. The OP is adding £3600 over three years to her child's financial burden. Unless you cannot live without that money, I don't think that is fair.

Oh God, if you don’t need the money don’t be such a pair of fucking tightwads. Hope you’re not skint in your old age and expect her to look after you because you’ll be out of luck.

Lol ok this is real life, she can temporarily let on the sly without telling her mortgage company 🤣 Lots of people do this! What a silly man.

I’m not middle class but certainly don’t charge my child rent whilst they’re in uni. They pay for their own social life and buy theirselves food but unless I was absolutely struggling I wouldn’t take it.

You’ve never heard of people charging their kids keep before they leave home? It’s certainly not a rare thing!

You should be paying her.

Quite mean to charge her when she is not there.

I really can’t believe you are charging your daughter anything at all. This isn’t the purpose of a student loan. All this rubbish on here about teaching financial responsibility! We supported our children financially throughout university and didn’t charge them board when they returned home. Yes we were fortunate to be able to do this but it was an expense we knew that was coming and we started saving when they were young. We didn’t have more kids than we could afford! Both children now have excellent financial responsibility. We encouraged our children to do degrees that led to well paid jobs for their own benefit.

What’s wrong with charging a token amount?

What?

At least you recognised your fortune whilst judging 😂

I find this culture of charging our children to live in our homes messed up. Unless you need the contribution, it feels inappropriate.

Totally agree

I cannot believe it either.

She has a student loan and she pays some if it for you for accommodation in her own home ? so, effectively she is loaning money, on which she’ll have to pay interest, to pay her parents board ?

i know there are life lessons but I feel sorry for your daughter.

I can’t believe on MN the parents who don’t support their children while at Uni. Some parents really cannot afford to but others would rather have expensive holidays / go to the pub/ have takeaways. Then the children at uni just follow their parents example and go out all the time! In other cultures more parents make sacrifices. This is why we are doing so badly as a country. It is horrible to start your working life with a huge debt. This just maintains the class system. The rich just get richer. The poor get poorer. Rant over

If I've understood this correctly she's at uni but locally so she lives at home. If that's the case the maintenance loan (which will be lower than if she was living away) is intended in part to cover living costs so she should pay some of it to you. Whether £100 a month is fair and reasonable I don't know- but sounds like it may well be. But students living away in halls only have to pay rent for 42 weeks of the year I think, so not including the summer holiday and I presume the maintenance loan reflects that and I'm guessing the "at home" loan is similar. So the real issue is what should she pay over the summer and on what basis? In theory any rent/board will be coming from her part time work rather than the loan so depends what she's earning. Also for the month she's at her boyfriends she ought to be contributing to rent/board there and not paying twice. Your husband's point that she would have to pay rent/mortgage elsewhere if there or not is a bit feeble. In halls (at least at my son's uni) you don't pay for the summer when you aren't there. She doesn't have a tenancy agreement or mortgage and if she's not there she's not investing the bills or eating your food. If you really "need" her contribution so much maybe you should look at increasing your own income. Once she's finished uni and moves out she isn't going to be contributing to your household too.

Sorry realised I was projecting a bit. I went to uni a long time ago when it was grants not loans. I wasn't eligible for one because of my parents income and my dad was annoyed about that ( not my fault and he was the one who insisted i must go to university) and said I should get a summer job and pay them rent over the holidays. He was a bit gobsmacked when I got a summer job which included accommodation and didn't come home!

The idea is that you financially support your children through uni. People who have to work through uni generally have a lower mark than those fully supported by parents.

I understand not everyone can do that which is fine, but to charge them whilst students is wrong.

I totally understand charging adult children for their keep, but not whilst at uni.

You can't charge her for not living at your home for a month. You say it will prepare her for when she leaves home but she is still at home and should be treated accordingly. Charging her £100 for a month she isn't there is extreme. No extra costs for you so there should be no charge.

I’m questioning the suggestion that they should PAY her.