Should my kid still pay rent if they are on holiday

[Claire2437]

My daughter is currently at university and working part-time some months she earns a good wage on top of her student loan and some months she doesnt, when she started university she wasn't working so we agreed she would give us £100 a month. Because her wage changes so much we've never changed this. Her boyfriends family live in another town from us and she is about to go stay with them for a month while she is off uni. My husband and I cant decide if we should still charge her the £100 while she is away. In some ways it feels unfair if she is not here but my husbands reasoning is its teaching her real life that if we went away for a month we couldn't phone our mortgage company and not pay them just because we wont be there.
Sorry for such a long post just looking for some advice on this.
Thanks

Poor kid.
I take it that your husband is not her father.

Looking at it another way.

She is only paying £1200 a year for her board ?
Even the 'live at home' maintenance loan is a lot more than that.
It is a bit like paying membership or subs for something, divided equally across 12 months, rather than a higher rate for the days you are there.

Like people who work in schools get their wage divided into 12 equal monthly instalments rather than supply teachers who get a higher daily rate, but nothing in the holidays. Or self employed people who have to factor their holidays breaks and sick pay into their daily or hourly rate as they get no income when they aren't actually working.

She needs that explaining to her, and explaining that she is already being heavily subsidised by her parents.
I agree with your dh...... if she chooses to go on holiday, she can't just stop her monthly payments for her board. Same as if she were making payments for a car, they don't stop because she doesn't use it for 2 weeks - it is there to use whether she chooses to or not.

She's your daughter for heaven's sake. Did you charge her for the years when she was under 16?

Yes, pay her, as in financially supporting her through uni.

That’s coming from a place of economic privilege. I’m also sure that there will be cost to parents. Student loans don’t cover fees.

Yes student loans do cover fees. The fees loan isn't means tested so everyone is entitled to it. The maintenance loan and what it should cover is what is being discussed here.

I think charging rent to your Children is awful. It’s transactional and probably makes them feel insecure. It would have made me feel hurt and angry.

Student loans don’t cover fees.

What do you mean? They do in England. They are paid directly to the university.

A young person from a low income family will receive £700 a month to "maintain" themselves food, clothes travel etc do not cost anywhere near that much. Of course they should pay towards their food and household bills.

What a weird way of looking at things.

I paid board to my parents from when I started work after my O-levels, and it wouldn't have crossed my mind to ask to stop when I did my degree a few years later.
It didn't make me feel insecure, hurt or angry, it made me understand budgeting a bit better and made me feel that my parents respected me as an adult. It also made me appreciate the fact that the board that I paid them was MUCH less than I would have been paying out, even if I lived in a shared house or lodged in someone's flat.

My adult dc have paid board when they have lived at home as adult, and have also appreciated the fact that they then had FAR more money than they would have had if they were paying a commercial rent, bills etc.
It really is a very, very normal way to live.

If you did O levels then you probably went to university with a grant and no tuition fees. Times have changed.

it is a loan,
so pay the parents out of the loan seems wrong to me

If you did O levels then you probably went to university with a grant and no tuition fees. Times have changed.

Yes, I did my degree during the time when everyone lost 1/3 of their gross income to income tax and NI, rather than just those who went to University having to pay more tax.

However, all of my dc have paid fees and taken out the loans, and the two who have lived at home have been brought up to expect to pay their way in life and have come to us to initiate the conversation about how much they should contribute to the household. They are aware that is what the maintenance loan is for...... you living costs.

Yes but the loan is fir the most part to cover the costs of food , utilities , wifi etc. Only a small portion is meant for clothes , travel and entertainment.

I don't get this. My son moved into a student village for uni. But it's saving me more money him not being at home!! He doesn't cost me anything while there

I don't get this. My son moved into a student village for uni. But it's saving me more money him not being at home!! He doesn't cost me anything while there

Well you are either low income so he gets a higher loan or he's at a uni with very low accommodation costs.

My sons maintenance loan didn't even cover the student halls - which were 168 per week! He worked alongside his studies but still needed topping up at times.

When we (me and dh) retired DS1 was 3rd yr and DS2 was 1st year. Then we didn't need to give them anything as they got a much higher maintenance loan based on our reduced income.

DS2 is about to start a masters in London. His maintenance loan covers his rent but not bills or living. He won't be able to work this time and his savings won't last long so we will have to top him up again for the next two years.

Yes, but those aren't the OP's circumstances, @nokidshere

My parents didn't take anything off me when I was at college and living at home.

She won't be using your electricity, gas, water or eating your food. What would she be paying for exactly? I think it would be mean to charge your DD when she's not there. Would you still want to charge her if she moved out? Because for a month she will have moved out.

Yes, but those aren't the OP's circumstances, @nokidshere

I know. I wasn't replying to the OP.

When my DD was at uni we paid for her, not charge her money. When she came home during her holidays we were just thrilled to see her and would not charge her. Once a DC is out of education and working full time and still living at home, I think that is the time to accept a contribution from them towards food and utilities.

Yes he gets a higher loan than some but not as high as others. The rent is £5000 odd per year. Leaving him 3k odd for other living expenses.So he is there for about 38 weeks. That's roughly £80 a week with bills paid. Plus he works in holidays for "treat" money car insurance etc. Not poverty stricken

And although he gets higher maintenance loan it does also mean that he has more to pay back . The kids from wealthier families end up with less debt

No, it’s not weird at all to have a different perspective. Perhaps it’s growing up in America where this just isn’t done. And my Welsh husband’s parents didn’t make him pay anything. I don’t find it normal. I think it’s sad.

I think being at work and full time education are two different things. Yes keep should be paid for being at work but not when in education.

@Samlewis96
The kids from wealthier families end up with less debt

Not just the ones from wealthier families, but also families who realise the value of education and have saved for their children to go to university. These parents have gone without other things while saving and in doing so have taught, by example, their children valuable economic lessons. These families realise that if their children have to work while studying they will not do as well.