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Original poster

Should my kid still pay rent if they are on holiday

147 replies

Claire2437 · 07/07/2023 04:05

My daughter is currently at university and working part-time some months she earns a good wage on top of her student loan and some months she doesnt, when she started university she wasn't working so we agreed she would give us £100 a month. Because her wage changes so much we've never changed this. Her boyfriends family live in another town from us and she is about to go stay with them for a month while she is off uni. My husband and I cant decide if we should still charge her the £100 while she is away. In some ways it feels unfair if she is not here but my husbands reasoning is its teaching her real life that if we went away for a month we couldn't phone our mortgage company and not pay them just because we wont be there.
Sorry for such a long post just looking for some advice on this.
Thanks

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Westfacing · 07/07/2023 07:53

when she started university she wasn't working so we agreed she would give us £100 a month.

I'm surprised you charged her rent when she wasn't working.

SkankingWombat · 07/07/2023 07:54

If you need it, charge it. If you don't, I would be suggesting she pays £20 to cover her proportion of standing charges at home, and offers £80 to her BF's parents towards food etc for the month (or 25/75? Vary the split as seems reasonable to you)

Hercisback · 07/07/2023 07:55

Do people not realise that low income families NEED this contribution?

Child benefit stops, that money needs to come from somewhere.

OP I'd charge her.

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Westfacing · 07/07/2023 07:55

I think she should give the £100 to the boyfriend's parents, who are being very generous by hosting her for a month!

Westfacing · 07/07/2023 07:57

If the OP and her husband are skint or on very low wages I'm sure she would have said so.

Westfacing · 07/07/2023 07:57

If the OP and her husband are skint or on very low wages I'm sure she would have said so.

ohtowinthelottery · 07/07/2023 07:59

She won't be using your food or electricity so no I wouldn't charge. She's not contributing to your rent/mortgage, she's making a token payment to your variable costs.

Soontobe60 · 07/07/2023 08:00

I would say that she shouldn’t pay you whilst she’s staying at her BFs parents, but she should pay them!

CurlewKate · 07/07/2023 08:01

It depends whether you're charging her rent because you need the money-in which case yes, of course. Or if it's one of these strange "they have to learn" things people do. In which case, no. And stop charging her rent at all while she's a student.

GoodChat · 07/07/2023 08:04

Westfacing · 07/07/2023 07:57

If the OP and her husband are skint or on very low wages I'm sure she would have said so.

Why? So people can jump in with the 'your income isn't her problem' line?

Willmafrockfit · 07/07/2023 08:08

Hercisback · 07/07/2023 07:55

Do people not realise that low income families NEED this contribution?

Child benefit stops, that money needs to come from somewhere.

OP I'd charge her.

and if she wasnt working, as it is she is working part time

Whichwhatnow · 07/07/2023 08:26

I'm assuming that 'rent' is actually 'board', i.e. a contribution towards the food and gas/electric she uses. These threads always irritate me because so many people jump on the word rent and make out that parents are 'profiting' from their kids when actually they've got a pretty good deal (and would be paying for food at uni anyway, probably a lot more than £100 a month! Plus actual rent for halls - seems to me OP's DD is probably better off financially than the vast majority of students...). I can never work out if it's a genuine misunderstanding due to the terminology used or people are being deliberately obtuse to get a dig in at the OP.

If the above is correct OP then I'd probably not charge her while she's away. She's not actually going to be costing you anything extra for that month so it doesn't make sense to charge - it's not like a private rental or mortgage.

Of course if I'm wrong and this is actual rent (with food on top/bought separately by her) then I take the above back!

TrudyProud · 07/07/2023 08:41

Yes charge her. If she were in halls they'd charge her regardless of if she spent one night there or not.

It's £100 she won't miss it and anyone including her who believes she could live cheaper elsewhere most certainly would.

Don't let mn try to shame you. You are perfectly within your rights to ask. She's within her rights to say no then she can move out FT

OngoingConfidence · 07/07/2023 08:51

How come so many parents don't charge their kids rent? I still live at home, I've been paying £300 rent out of my student loan to my mom. When I start working full time, that will go up to £500. I'm jealous of people who get to live rent free 😅

Starlightstarbright2 · 07/07/2023 08:51

Honeychickpea · 07/07/2023 04:52

So I guess it's a newsflash to many on Mumsnet that quite a lot of people can't afford to carry their kids through university? The middle class bubble displays again.

This exactly .

Peony654 · 07/07/2023 08:52

MikeWozniaksMohawk · 07/07/2023 06:27

Maybe it should be suggested to her that she should offer that money to her BF’s parents as a contribution to the extra costs of food etc in their household while she is there for a month.

I agree with this, as the extra cost of having her with you (food, showers, laundry), will transfer to the BF parents for that month

Tessisme · 07/07/2023 10:40

I am old, but when I was in further education my parents didn't charge me rent. When I started working full time, I started paying rent. And when I went on holiday, they gave me a couple of weeks off paying because they were kind and could afford it and wanted me to have more money for my holiday. DP tried it with his parents and I think the response was something along the lines of 'Away and shite', which roughly translates as 'definitely not' in Norn Iron speak😅

Frankenpug23 · 08/07/2023 11:50

LoisPrice · 07/07/2023 06:27

If your dd is living at her parent house/home whilst studying and working part time, paying rent. Then when she goes away, does she move all her belongings out if the property? Give her key back, vacate the room?

if not then, rent needs to be paid.

tbh student rents need me are £200 a week, £800 a month for 11 month contracts. £8800 in rent is far different from £1200 for all year round

Which actually her parents may have to contribute towards if she was living away - as the student loan will not cover accommodation, food, travel etc… even with a part time job. It all depends on how much loan the student is entitled too.

My son is at Uni living at home with us - his loan would not cover his travel, books, uni supplies, uni field trips etc.. he has a part time job too - but I would never dream of charging him rent! I think unless you need the money then no, she is a student.

The poster should not be charging rent while she isn’t there shes 18 let her have the money for a bit of fun!! or for buying her boyfriend’s parents a gift.

NewNovember · 08/07/2023 11:51

Ponderingwindow · 07/07/2023 04:40

I wouldn’t charge rent to a child attending university. It’s my job to subsidize them financially through a first degree.

As long as they are a full-time student and taking studies seriously, I would provide as much financial assistance as possible.

What do you think a maintenance loan is for? The clue is in the name.

Willmafrockfit · 08/07/2023 12:04

but it is a loan, better not to use it if you can get away with it,

Forestfriendlygarden · 08/07/2023 12:06

What is the council tax situation OP?

Are you being charged bedroom tax - for the empty room - I'm not facing this situation yet, but I do know students are exempt whilst they are at uni but not in the holidays?

If this is the case then bedroom tax might be a considerable amount - for you to pay.

I think the main thing is maintaining a secure base 'just in case'. Plans change, illnesses happen and people fail courses - I would expect in our house to maintain a room for DD at least until she has finished her course and probably after that, but I think a balance of needs here is important.

celticprincess · 08/07/2023 12:19

It’s up to you. When I was at uni from second year we rented a house. In order to stay in that house we had to pay the rent over the summer. The bills would have been minimum with no one there those months. Some of us did come and stay odd weeks. But no food to buy etc once home. But first year in halls we only paid rent up til we left in the June and other than our deposits for the house next year we didn’t have rent that summer. However I’ve never lived at home and had to pay rent. My kids aren’t that age. If the £100 is basically covering the food they eat for the month then don’t charge them. If you rely on that to pay your own bills then you’re saving from them not being there and eating. They aren’t in the real world anyway and £100 a month rent isn’t real world so can’t compare.

TwilightSkies · 08/07/2023 12:29

Depends whether you actually need the money, or your husband is just trying to assert control.

Morphingirl · 08/07/2023 12:34

When I lived with Nan I paid her rent whether I was there or not .

Shimmeringshadow · 08/07/2023 12:37

I probably wouldn’t charge her but if you do can you put it in an ISA for her

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