Why are gender roles viewed negatively?

[reddragon7]

I read and see so many threads and real life examples, where men and women feel the need to be “equal.” The man about to become a father, refuses to become the main earner, even when he has the means, and insists that his wife also work and contribute financially. Doesn’t this seem imbalanced to anyone, and that society is being brainwashed to accept this as the norm.

I have nothing against a woman wishing to work post-children, however, I don’t understand why society and some men put pressure on their wives to work, if she would rather stay home with the children. This has now become and expectation. If a woman is contributing financially, it is never really 50/50, as she is also doing most of the domestic work.

People condemn gender roles as though they are ancient, but seem to forget that, biologically and psychologically, women are naturally better caregivers to children. They are the ones pregnant, produce all these hormones, and better equipped to raise a child than a man. Of course, there are exceptions, but as a general fact, people seem to ignore this.

In view of all this, I believe more men should offer to be financial providers, giving women the option to not work after children, as childcare costs aren’t exactly saving them much anyway. Otherwise, it feels we are moving away from our gender roles, which may actually be more helpful in a marriage, than people make out.

Wow, how condescending and patronising. Get off your pedestal.

I said gay couples can do what they want. Not my business

So it’s not actually anything to do with what is best for the children then.

Out of interest, what sort of work do you do, OP?

They are the same sex, so in that sense I think 50:50 is fine.

Even though you think 50/50 is actually bad

I apologise if my question offended you. It wasn't a criticism - I am ND myself (adhd).

I was trying to understand if there was an underlying reason for the way you are coming across. Apparently there isn't.

So I can only conclude that you're just stunningly lacking in self awareness or you're deliberately trying to wind people up.

I didn’t say they have to go 50:50. I said it’s hard for me to have a stance on them because I’m not pro homosexuality. I am only talking about male-female dynamics in a relationship.

I quoted your words where you stated that something you feel is detrimental in relationships is 'fine' for homosexual people

If you want to change the rights of people in society but you dont consider how that will impact all of society you are discriminating

You were happy to have an opinion where people are disabled, or unmarried mothers. Are you disabled, or an unmarried mother

If gay couples make that choice for themselves, I have no say, since I am only discussing heterosexual dynamics. I’m talking about men/women gender roles, I can’t really comment on same sex marriage, when they’re the same gender.

And no, I am neither of the two.

Which is why people are bringing up homophobia.

Since you think women should have this legal right in marriage, presumably you also want same-sex marriage to be illegal

But you did comment. you said something would be fine for them that you think is detrimental

Not once did I use the word “detrimental.” I said I think provider/nurturer roles are better in a heterosexual marriage. But that I have nothing to say about homosexual marriages, since they are not in a male/female relationship to begin with. So the choice is clearly up to them.

Your initial point was that women are biologically wired for nurture and childcare, men are not.

which justifies your opinion that marriages should follow gender roles: men provide, women nurture.

so why people are asking you about homosexuality: if you believe gender roles are driven by biology, do both men in a gay couple go to work? Who nurtures the child? If both females in a gay relationship want to stay home as per their innate biological drive, who finances?

the question being that if gay couples’ roles within a relationship aren’t driven by innate biology, then what is it about heterosexual couples that means their biology is different?

if a gay woman manages to work and support her family financially, how does that fit into your theory that biologically women are driven to sah, and should therefore have the “right” to do so?

again you can’t back up your own opinions with any sort of sense.

You didnt use the word detrimental I was summing up all the words you did use

But to be clear, if you feel that traditional gender roles are more beneficial, does that not stand to reason that non traditional gender roles are less beneficial? Otherwise what is the entire point of the thread?

So therefore you are fine with saying that gay couples should be 50/50 which you think is less beneficial

I am curious though as to whether you would like to comment on children from same sex relationships being happier. Not in terms of same sex relationships, but because it was pinpointed that children were happier in an environment where parenting and housework are shared more equally

https://bmcpublichealth.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/1471-2458-14-635

@reddragon7 You have explained yourself perfectly clearly and respectfully on the subject of homosexuality. You come across as respecting other people's lifestyle but at the same time maintaining your own beliefs. It is a very sensitive and controversial topic and I understand why other people feel upset by your comments but at the same time, your views are your views and should likewise be respected.

🧦

@bossonext What does the sock mean?

You study child phychology? What's that?
One would imagine if you studied something you might actually be able to spell it.

I disagree.

I absolutely respect the OP's right to hold views that are different to my own. And I respect her right to organise her own life in whatever way she chooses.

However, I cannot respect her views because i perceive them to be sexist and homophobic, and sexism and homophobia are fundamentally incompatible with my personal values.

Do you really believe that all views should be respected equally, regardless of how abhorrent others might find them? If someone held views that were racist, would you argue that everyone else should respect these views?

I understand where you are coming from and I respect your standpoint. I also appreciate you being kind in your response, despite disagreeing with me.

I believe that everyone is entitled to their own views on whatever subject that may be. However, once they start harming others, then that is where a line has been crossed. I don't feel it is possible or appropriate to police other people's thoughts and values as they are personal to each person.

As a bisexual woman you would like me to respect homophobic views?

I respect the OPs rights to have any beliefs she wants. I don't have to respect those beliefs any more than I do any other beliefs I don't believe in like sexism, racism etc

I cannot answer that question for you as it is your personal decision.

For me personally, I would respect anyone's views on any subject, in the sense that they are entitled to hold those views and it would not really be my business to question those beliefs unless I was invited to do so.

Not all views deserved to be respected.

I don't respect sexist or homophobic views and I make no apologies for that.

Since when should we be respecting sexist or homophobic views??

For me personally, I would respect anyone's views on any subject, in the sense that they are entitled to hold those views and it would not really be my business to question those beliefs unless I was invited to do so.
I think it IS people's business to question beliefs. Anything else means thinking it's acceptable for people to express any intolerant beliefs they like and be free from criticism. A world without challenge is not a world I'd want to have.

If someone holds racist views, they're entitled to, but they are likely to be robustly challenged.

If someone, like OP, holds homophobic views, they're entitled to their opinion. They are likely to be challenged and the challenges are likely to be robust.

If someone has views about gender based on silly stereotypes that are harmful, they are not entitled to have no challenge to those beliefs.

When the OP puts those opinions on the internet on a chat forum and repeatedly says she is inviting other people's views and opinions I can't understand why you think I wasn't invited to do so?

It's not like she was having a chat in her living room with her DH and I broke in to join in the conversation