Sons dad fractured 3 of my sons ribs

[lockdownmummax]

Looking for advice,

Long one, on Wednesday morning I noticed my baby was unsettled and had a cut on his ear, he was grunting and I noticed a bruise on his hand, I took him to GP and she called social services, we where referred to hospital for suspected child abuse, I really thought some sort of freak accident happened, I never suspected my then partner ( sons dad ) at the time at all, however scans revealed 3 fractured ribs, on Saturday my sons dad told me he thinks he's done this out of a moment of frustration as he couldn't settle our son... he squeezed him, we told the police, the police arrested him yesterday morning, he is out and waiting to give another statement and charges

However social services have informed me today I am not aloud to be around my 2 children unsupervised, they will stay with my mum, I can't take them home or anything I am devestated as I haven't done this and told the police when my sons dad told me,

I am also struggling to come to terms with this as my sons dad is not an aggressive person and really never suspected this, anyone know what will happen with social services will I get to take my children home eventually

OP I can understand you are concerned about your baby’s dad having access to him. Work with SS, ask to go on a parenting course, look at courses or programmes which might help you recognise why you’ve chosen these men ( or why they chose you) Wise up as much as you can.
You can be a single mum and bring up your children well and safely.
Atm you’re in shock. Make notes of everything you’re told by the police, SS, doctors etc as there will be information overload.
I hope your baby recovers well from the injuries.

Apologies OP, for some reason the app didn't load 90% of the comments on this thread so I wasn't able to see any of your updates. I'm really sorry you're in this position.

Social services will want assurances from you that you will leave him plus will need to check all your children’s background with the GP , hospital , school etc . If there are no other worries then I can only assume you will be allowed go have them back but under a protection order for a while .
you need to do everything possible to make sure SS knows you will follow their lead .

Given the horrible circumstances, you've done everything right OP. I'm sorry some are giving you a hard time.

Just remember that at the moment the police and Social Services are just gathering information to ensure that you are able to provide the children with a safe environment at home. Taking your DC away from you, temporarily is the safest way they can do this properly. It certainly sounds like you can provide a safe gine, assuming you cut this man out of your lives.

Thankfully they are with your own Mum, rather than with foster carers. Presumably you can be with the children there, as long as your Mum is there too?

@Fladdermus 's post is excellent in terms of giving you key points to adhere to, to get your babies back.

Thanks @PipMumsnet Your intervention is definitely needed here.

To anyone who is here to have a pop at the OP, go elsewhere and spread your toxic views. How dare you abuse a mother who's had devastating news and done her absolute best to safeguard her children.

How dare you blame her for the actions of an adult male.

Just how dare you in general! If you disagree with me, go back and read each post made by the OP carefully so you actually understand the full picture before going off half cocked again.

I'm actually disgusted with some posters on here. Truly disgusted.

This.

Why on earth would you want him to have access to a child he has abused?

SS will be very firm on this. If you allow him anywhere near your children they will be taken into care.
Don't let this happen

She's not saying she wants him to have access, she's saying that a lawyer has told her that it is possible that eventually she will have to allow him access, and if that is the case she wants it to be supervised.

It's all in the post that you quoted

I’m so sorry your going through this OP and I hope your poor baby recovers quickly, physically I mean.

You have done the right thing firstly in taking your baby to be checked and calling the police as soon as your partner told you what he’d done.

You must be in shock, but it’s imperative that you engage fully with social services and keep this monster away from your children. Don’t make any excuses or try and defend him, even in passing, by saying he’s not an aggressive man. He is, you just didn’t realise what he was capable of.

Are you married? If so consult a solicitor about divorce proceedings. If not, make arrangements as soon as possible to have anything of his removed from your house.

Social Services will be looking at you to protect your children now, any suggestion that you won’t do so will be seen as failure to protect and because of the significant risk of harm here there’s every change the children will be removed from your care.

You sound like a good mum, wishing you strength x

She has left him. She's with her mum now. What she presumably means is that she will make it formal.

This.

I am unsure why people are being hard on the OP. What more could she do? Yeah we all say we would beat the shit outta any man who would do that to our kid, but realistically, we can only call the police and expect SS to do some form of investigation on both parents. Exactly what is happening. OP is obviously still processing what happened and she could even end up with a form of PTSD or such. How many times on MN do we read posts where the OPs husband/partner did something completely unexpected (usually cheating tbh, this is much worse).

OP please understand that, thank God, not many of us have experienced what you have. Some posters are lucky enough to not understand how the shock of such a traumatic and unexpected event can leave a person cold, unsure of how to act and unsure of what's coming. Please just focus on healing for yourself and your kids. This man has shown his true self; he's a monster. You're not a monster, that's why you can't understand why he did that. I am so sorry. Gather strength from the fact your child is safe and will be okay.

@saraclara glad to hear it. I found this thread incredibly hard to read. OP has my full sympathy. What an awful situation to be in

I felt so sad reading this. The poor baby.

I hope you manage to stay with your kids and that cunt never gets to be near them again.

Of course he is in pain! My H was in a motorbike accident and he broke 3 ribs. It was agonising for weeks I am horrified by your story. These abused and dead baby stories make me sick to my stomach. I hope your H gets payback.

OP, please don’t feel you have to defend yourself here. You’ve had a terrible shock and done all the right things. You are not responsible for a man’s actions. I hope the baby continues to heal and that SS clear things up quickly and get your children home to you.

Thank god you acted as you did. Dd and I sat in on a Crown Court trial the man had murdered the baby. The mum was on trial too. We watched the professionals give their evidence GP/ pathologists etc. Truly awful. Dad looked like an insignificant little drip of man you wouldn’t give him a second glance.

I’m so sorry this is happening to you and your poor little baby.
I’m so disappointed in so many of the replies to you. Some of them have been absolutely disgusting.
You have done everything you could possibly have done. At 11 weeks old, babies tend to cry a lot and it would have been very easy for you to have put this down to colic etc but as a vigilant mother, you took him to the GP. You reported the abuse as soon as you were aware of it.
The authorities will see the positive actions you have taken to keep your children safe.
Try to access support from a relevant charity.
Follow the guidance of the authorities.
Well done. Stay strong and keep doing what you are doing.

@GreenFingersWouldBeHandy

your comment is not needed.

yes very clearly he is aggressive but before he told me this I did not see it.

@NormaTheWife

it's hard watching him like this, I do see improvements though which I am glad about, I have been asking doctors lots of questions about this they said they would heal themselves quite quickly and I have to handle him as normal but I am scared any time I am picking him up...
He has to return for a scan in 2 weeks to see if they are healing

OP - i know you're in shock, but eat something and look after yourself

Your baby needs you - he doesn't want his mum poorly.

You will both get through this. Work with SS and do as they say. Let the police deal with XP. Have nothing to do with him.

Take care.

I hope your baby heals quickly and you get the support you need to keep this man out of your lives, OP.

Please try to get help so you can figure out why you keep choosing men like this.

Don’t interact with these posters.
You don’t have the headspace for their nonsense.
Take the positive advice offered and ignore the posters who only want to take a few words you’ve written completely out of context to twist in a way in order to be able to abuse you.
It’s a sad and worrying way for someone to go about entertaining themselves but that’s their problem. Not yours x

You did the right thing by going to the gp and reporting it.
He hasn’t shown you his aggression but obviously he can’t cope as a parent. I hope you can leave. I’m sure you are in shock and never expected to find yourself in this situation.

They will heal naturally but it will be positional pain. As he is so young then you will be able to control this to a great extent. Poor little mite!