Sons dad fractured 3 of my sons ribs

[lockdownmummax]

Looking for advice,

Long one, on Wednesday morning I noticed my baby was unsettled and had a cut on his ear, he was grunting and I noticed a bruise on his hand, I took him to GP and she called social services, we where referred to hospital for suspected child abuse, I really thought some sort of freak accident happened, I never suspected my then partner ( sons dad ) at the time at all, however scans revealed 3 fractured ribs, on Saturday my sons dad told me he thinks he's done this out of a moment of frustration as he couldn't settle our son... he squeezed him, we told the police, the police arrested him yesterday morning, he is out and waiting to give another statement and charges

However social services have informed me today I am not aloud to be around my 2 children unsupervised, they will stay with my mum, I can't take them home or anything I am devestated as I haven't done this and told the police when my sons dad told me,

I am also struggling to come to terms with this as my sons dad is not an aggressive person and really never suspected this, anyone know what will happen with social services will I get to take my children home eventually

we had been in hospital all this time, today been discharged kids are at my mums I am going there tonight my mum came to my home with me I'm staying here for an hour or two to pack some of our stuff and my mum called worried about my mental health and she is worried she's left me alone incase I do something silly, it shocked me when my mum said that and gave me a big realisation I need help with this bedsuse I'm going to struggle to cope with this
Heart breaking never ever ever thought I would experience something like this

@lockdownmummax
You have my sympathy and you have done exactly the right thing. I believe you when you say your ex (coz that's what he is now) has show no signs of aggression in the past. I gather from other posts your daughter's dad was aggressive. Your mistake was to think that abuse is always obvious. It's possible that you've been incredibly unlucky with your partners but I think it's probable there are indicators that you've missed. If you have had an unhealthy childhood it's possible you're not equipped to recognise these signs and need help.
It may not be your fault you didn't know, but it's now your responsibility to make sure anything like this can never happen again. They'll always be bad men about. Don't invite them into your life. Speak to the Police or Social Worker about The Freedom course. This will be the first step to protecting your children and yourself.
X

He might say it was a “moment” but how does that explain fractured ribs, a bruised hand and a cut ear? Three separate areas of injury.

sons dad is saying he squeezed him in a moment of frustration...

He's lying.

He broke a tiny defenceless 11 week old baby's ribs I'd call that pretty darn aggressive.
There's no choice nor 2 ways about it you have to get rid. There's no coming back from this.

^ This ^

Fucking hell this is pm distressing to read, I'm shaking. I can't imagine how distraught and angry I would feel in your situation.

Simply speaking, it's rare social services allow mum to keep children when they're aware dad has abusing mum, but when it's actually an 11 week old I'd see no hope of keeping them at all if he's still in your life.

For your childrens' sake, I hope this is all resolved as best it can be, and the bastard is locked up as he deserves.

He is an evil, aggressive monster that should never be allowed near children again (even supervised). Do whatever you can to never see him again and put your children first. Thank god they are safe with your Mum and I hope your poor baby recovers quickly ❤️

@Fladdermus
I hope the police will find the truth in their investigations,
I really do not want to beileve he has done this more than once or has beat him up, I'm struggling to picture the squeezing thing I think if I find out more has happened it will tip me over the edge but again I need to know the truth

A moment of frustration can do a lot of ireparable damage.

You're strong, you've already got through so much and you'll get through this too.
What's obvious from you posting history over the years is that you are a good mum.

I'm so sorry this has happened to you and your newborn baby. I'm sorry also that so many people are talking to you so unkindly. You must be absolutely shellshocked and feel like you don't want to believe it and feel like you are dreaming. Wishing you strength and calm to do what you need to.do upending your life and leaving him. Your baby is lucky to have you to be strong for him.

Op you did everything right in calling the police straight away and getting your baby medical attention. I truly hope he heals soon.

Some of these comments are despicable. @BadAngel op has not protected a child abuser in any way! He admitted to her what he'd done and she called the police on him straight after! How is that protecting him?!
@LavenderFields7 your comment is absolutely pathetic and you should be embarrassed.

Realistically OP, the Local Authority will probably seek an Interim Care Order for your children to remain with grandparents whilst care proceedings are initiated. The overall timescale is aimed 6 months but can be longer depending on complexities. You will be offered supervised contact likely 3 times per week and if your parents pass an assessment they may be well deemed suitable to offer additional supervised contacts. Work with your social worker, accept the risk and focus on what needs doing. You absolutely need to sever ties with this man as your social worker and the courts will be looking at your capacity to safeguard your son.

I'm sorry but this made me feel physically sick to read. Doesn't matter if it was a moment of frustration or whatever. The man you thought you knew is a lying, violent piece of shit who hurt an innocent 11 week old baby. Justifying it as anything else is wrong. No decent human being hurts a baby. Ever.

@lockdownmummax

on a slightly different tangent & I'm sorry to 'go there', but is your Mum part of the problem or part of the solution?

women who choose men who are abusive have most often come from homes where abuse occurs.

how certain are you that your Mum has your back?

regarding wanting answers and hoping they don't show there's been any previous abuse... that's understandable. It sounds though, like you're hoping they find something that exonerates your Ex. It is possible, but it's extremely extremely unlikely, so you need to try to accept that he did this & you don't cause broken ribs in tiny babies without a shocking amount of force, certainly not by 'squeezing' when frustrated. Prepare yourself for the report to come back worse.

who else lives at your Mums?

@MarchMadness23 I didn’t see it as them picking on the OP but can understand what you mean because I saw it written over and over and thought the same thing but felt no need to say anything because I didn’t feel like it mattered, nor would it make the slightest bit of difference so can see it being seen as them being pedantic.

The responses just made me think they thought it was being asked as a random question as it wasn’t exactly clear they thought it was as you have said, just that it doesn’t belong here.. But I understand.

This

Tragic and horrifying on so many levels.

’supervised’. Please tell me you don’t really believe this monster should ever be let anywhere near your children.

🙄 Didn’t say she did. Try reading my posts.

But I don’t think that OP telling police should be applauded, which is what the pp said. It would what any normal, loving parent would do if you had this info.

FFS. Read the thread. OP is worried the courts will grant access in future.

This. Seriously how many times does the supervised access query need to be explained. Would hate for some people on this thread to ever be on a jury.

I'm a pedant, but you're a twat.

OP, you have done everything right up to this point. What you have to do now is prove that you can do everything to keep your children safe. This means not being in a relationship with anyone else. You don't need anyone else.

I expect your partner is devastated but one awful mistake is all it takes
WTAF? He's an abusive bastard, not someone who "made a mistake". @AnyFucker

Poor little baby. This is sickening. Please please get him away from your family.
I hope the father...I use that term loosely...goes to prison and somebody bigger squeezes his ribs and worse.

WTAF? He's an abusive bastard, not someone who "made a mistake"

100% this.

Did you have any therapy or do the freedom programme after you broke up with your abusive ex?