Sons dad fractured 3 of my sons ribs

[lockdownmummax]

Looking for advice,

Long one, on Wednesday morning I noticed my baby was unsettled and had a cut on his ear, he was grunting and I noticed a bruise on his hand, I took him to GP and she called social services, we where referred to hospital for suspected child abuse, I really thought some sort of freak accident happened, I never suspected my then partner ( sons dad ) at the time at all, however scans revealed 3 fractured ribs, on Saturday my sons dad told me he thinks he's done this out of a moment of frustration as he couldn't settle our son... he squeezed him, we told the police, the police arrested him yesterday morning, he is out and waiting to give another statement and charges

However social services have informed me today I am not aloud to be around my 2 children unsupervised, they will stay with my mum, I can't take them home or anything I am devestated as I haven't done this and told the police when my sons dad told me,

I am also struggling to come to terms with this as my sons dad is not an aggressive person and really never suspected this, anyone know what will happen with social services will I get to take my children home eventually

i do hope lo recovers quickly

As others have said, @lockdownmummax please ignore the judgemental posts and don't respond to them. The rest of us will be reporting them, and the mods are being very responsive in taking them down.

Some people really are hard of thinking.
She isn't all that coherent - that might be because she's in shock, worried sick for her baby and not phrasing things correctly but it's clear she had no prior indication that this man was in any way abusive and as soon as she did, she called the police.

OP noticed the baby was poorly on Wednesday and brought him to the GP right away. GP noticed the injuries and referred baby to hospital, social services and notified police.

OP gave the police a truthful statement on Friday.

On the Saturday, her partner finally admitted that he had hurt the baby the day before she brought him to the GP.

The OP then immediately contacted police again to update them with this new information, and police acted accordingly. They got her keys off her ex and she has no intention of being with him ever again.

She asked a lawyer if her ex might be successful in getting access in the future - because she's terrified that might happen.

Presumably in real life given that she's able to stay at her mothers with her kids, social services see a woman who was absolutely blindsided by this, has been truthful, contacted professional services immediately and is fully cooperative.

Poor little guy, hope he continues to improve.

Have SS said anything about the next steps on their side? If you’ve got a contact I’d be inclined to get in touch with them and tell them everything you’re doing to ensure he can’t get access. I’d look at changing the locks to your house and telling them that too. It must be worthwhile you being proactive and showing them you aren’t hiding anything

if it was me i`d work with SS best you can .
press charges on him make a plan to move if you can cut all contact .
go court if need be as he is a danger to the child . i could keep my temper down if it was my partner .

The only person to blame is the monster who has done this.

However, as the daughter of a monster like that, and a mum who didn’t protect me from men like him, I think women like me just want OP to try to change her behaviours to help her and her kids. That’s the only thing women can power over, because they sure as fuck won’t change these bastard men.

COULD NOT keep my temper down

OP
I haven't read through all the message on here, but was shocked to see so much victim blaming in the ones I did. And yes, I would also consider you to be a victim in this horrific scenario.

Reach out to womens aid for advice and work with social work. They only remove children from homes where there is a significant risk, so now is the time to prove yourself to them that you are a good Mum (and it sounds from your posts that you are) and that there will be no contact with your baby's Dad.

Good luck, and don't forget that support is out there

Posted to soon.

And these men will probably never change.

I hope your little one recovers quickly.

Really?

You thought a thread about a seriously abused baby was the place for this?

Fucking google it.

How awful OP, so sorry this is happening to your children and you.

I hope he heals well and that you can get your head around this.

🙄

OP we never see the covert monsters amongst us.

concentrate on your baby and yourself. Do everything social service ask. Block your ex for now. Change the locks. Tell the school exactly what is happening.
change your passwords on everything bank accounts etc
contact all mutual friends and explain the police are involved and it is very serious and ask them not to pass on any messages to you or the children - same with his family.

ask social services and gp for immediate counselling

You're not allowed to sing aloud in class. Not really the place for this question though.

There is no misunderstanding, we all understand. I hope he goes to prison for a long, long time. That poor defenceless baby and your other vulnerable children are at risk too. Never, ever,ever see this scumbag again.

Jesus

Baby ribs are bendy and so for him to have fractured him he must have assaulted him
with some degree of force

he attacked a defenceless baby

it is inexcusable

you shouldn’t let your children anywhere near him, hopefully you will be able to persuade the authorities you are not a risk as long as you keep away from him.

There are some appalling responses on here.

On the face of it, OP is someone who has a history of becoming involved with abusive men and would benefit from some professional help to break this cycle. Despite this, she has done the right thing. She fought to stop her daughter's abusive father from having access to her, and she immediately called the police and ended the relationship with her son's father in light of this abusive incident. And yet here she is being questioned, spoken down to, treated with aggression and villified. On a parenting forum.

Is it really any wonder that domestic violence is so hard to escape and so hard to seek support for? When victims come onto sites like this for support from other parents and have their language picked apart, past threads dug up (and completely misconstrued) and are made to feel responsible?

@GoodChat

Let's face it, that poster wasn't concerned about their spelling. Just another way to kick someone when they are at a very low place already.

Nothing usually surprises me on here anymore but this thread has been a very very sad eye opener.

I honestly don't understand why you are getting so much blame here. The reality is humans can be incredibly cruel and hide it well. Others snap. It may well be his first time abusing a child (there is always a first but people forget this). You may not have been able to predict this was going to happen but you should be applauded for calling the police and protecting your children. This is not your fault op it is his. He took the decision to do what he did and it doesn't matter whether he intended to or not what matters is he did and you are doing the right thing by getting legal advice and calling the police. It is very easy to criticise for you saying about access but it's down to the law as to whether he would be entitled or not. If he gets it then policiticians need to review the law and make the amendments to protect children. If he is likely to get access maybe consider writing to your MP

👏

I cannot comprehend anybody hurting a child let alone an 11wk old baby 😭 I hope your dc gets well soon and you and your other dc get as far away from your ex as possible

Quite frankly, this must be extremely traumatic for OP and posters piling on to make her feel worse are absolutely despicable.