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Original poster

Husband pushed 4 year old over who fell and banged his head

372 replies

Wishbub · 20/03/2023 17:54

Not sure this is the right page, but i really don't know what to do. Husband has a bad temper which mainly results in shouting and some hitting of our 4 year old. Today was the worst, my son fell and banged his head, he now had a large lump on the back of his head.

I told my husband that this is physical abuse of a child, which he ridiculed, saying it was just an accident. I told him I have to protect our son, so he's said that he'll kill himself and be out of our way.

I'm currently breast feeding a small baby and feeling incredibly unwell, I don't know what to do...

OP posts:
Bex268 · 20/03/2023 19:45

Ffs this reads like he hits your son often. I can’t stand this! Women who allow this to happen, or men for that matter. Protect your son! How can you seriously not do something? You seem to be more concerned about your husband being an attention seeker and saying he’ll mill himself. If you don’t protect your son, and you see the abuse happening, you’re a terrible terrible parent who doesn’t deserve children.

and btw whether you’re breastfeeding or unwell, totally irrelevant! Nobody gives a crap!

Melbourne12 · 20/03/2023 19:46

Fucking hell.

Situations like this make me so furious. Absolute shitebag behaviour from a grown man to do that to a 4 year old.

I can’t write what I hope happens to him.

beachruns · 20/03/2023 19:46

Just one other thing to add. Non accidental head injuries are fairly obvious on a child.

there are ‘normal’ bruise patterns when they fall over etc but being hit from behind is not in keeping with a normal injury.

journeyofsanity · 20/03/2023 19:47

If you do not call the police and leave your H YOU ARE FACILITATING VIOLENT ABUSE of your child. Your dc will never forgive you.

beachruns · 20/03/2023 19:47

So even if you don’t get it checked out someone else might see it.

RachelAndRoss · 20/03/2023 19:48

God this is terrible. You need to kick him out/leave him pronto.

Threatening to kill himself is an abuse tactic.

You must assume responsibility and get your son away from him. Perhaps Contact a woman's shelter for advice in the meantime?

Good luck OP!

EineReiseDurchDieZeit · 20/03/2023 19:49

This man is not worth losing your children to foster care OP. Make the right choice.

Melbourne12 · 20/03/2023 19:49

Bex268 · 20/03/2023 19:45

Ffs this reads like he hits your son often. I can’t stand this! Women who allow this to happen, or men for that matter. Protect your son! How can you seriously not do something? You seem to be more concerned about your husband being an attention seeker and saying he’ll mill himself. If you don’t protect your son, and you see the abuse happening, you’re a terrible terrible parent who doesn’t deserve children.

and btw whether you’re breastfeeding or unwell, totally irrelevant! Nobody gives a crap!

Correct.

Bbq1 · 20/03/2023 19:50

Op isn't coming back.

Zone2NorthLondon · 20/03/2023 19:50

Take the toddler to A&E a head injury needs checked out. Call police from A&E . leave him

ToWhitToWhoo · 20/03/2023 19:51

You need to take your son to A&E. A bang on the head could, if not monitored, cause serious damage, which in some cases doesn't show up immediately. It needs to be checked out, even if he seems fine.

And you do have to take yourself and your children away from this man. He has hit your child more than once; and, even if this occasion was an accident: if a decent parent injures their child by accident, they are horrified, remorseful, and very concerned to avoid a repetition. They don't just dismiss it.

Doesthepopeshitinthewoods · 20/03/2023 19:51

mainly results in shouting and some hitting of our 4 year old.

He routinely takes his bad temper out on your four year old and regularly hits him?

You leave the fucking abusive cunt. And phone the police.

The threat to kill himself is absolute bullshit designed to control you, sadly cunts like this never kill themselves, he’ll think way too highly of himself.

Suzi888 · 20/03/2023 19:52

That poor child. Abused by one parent whilst the other stands by. Stop having babies with this scum bag.

Cocobutt · 20/03/2023 19:52

Husband has a bad temper which mainly results in shouting and some hitting of our 4 year old.

This is awful OP!

He is a bully.

Why is being single worse than your son receiving his abuse?

I would never let anyone treat my DD the way he does.

He is in the wrong but you are just as much to blame if you allow this to continue.

If you don’t want him then put him up for adoption so he doesn’t have to live in fear everyday.

RachelAndRoss · 20/03/2023 19:53

OP you better be reading this. Please take action and leave that abuser, that poor little boy cannot defend himself!

floodbez1878 · 20/03/2023 19:53

I can't imagine being able to live with myself seeing my 3 year old hurt or anxious if my husband was pushing or hitting her. Which he wouldn't in a million years. The thought makes me feel physically sick. Your poor child.
You owe your husband absolutely nothing, you owe your children safety and protection. Please get help.

Ofcourseshecan · 20/03/2023 19:53

Spendonsend · 20/03/2023 18:01

If i understood correctly, i would take myself, the baby and your son to hospital. I would say what happened and ask for their immediate help in contacting police and support services and say you cant go home. etc. If you can pack an overnight bag, id, any cash etc for yourselves do. Otherwise just go.

This.

Cocobutt · 20/03/2023 19:53

Also if he threatens to kill himself tell him you are ringing the police.
If you genuinely think he’s going to Jill himself then actually ring them.

Melbourne12 · 20/03/2023 19:57

What’s Mumsnet’s approach to things like this? They must have her name/IP etc. Do they not get involved?

Lbnc2021 · 20/03/2023 19:57

If anything happens to your child and you knew about it and done nothing then you’ll also be jailed for causing or allowing the death of a child. Fuck his suicide threats, start being a mother.

EasternEcho · 20/03/2023 19:57

My heart is breaking for this 4 year old. I don't think OP is coming back either. The fact that she has allowed this to go on, and qualifies her post with how unwell she is feeling, instead of focusing on how unwell her 4 year old with a bump on his head, being shouted at and hit must be feeling doesn't bode well.

Merlinsbeard83 · 20/03/2023 19:58

My sil partner was like this ,they tried to hide it. But one day he pushed one of the children and they fell into a door and broke their collarbone. They told the ambulance man it was daddy . And the kids were removed by social services. She stood by her partner and he refused to get any help . He had alcohol problems as well . The kids have now been adopted.

BlackFlyChardonnay · 20/03/2023 19:58

Your 4 year old needs checking out at the hospital.

He has brainwashed you in to thinking his temper is no big deal. The reality is that he is abusing your child and you aren't doing anything to stop him.

You need to protect your kids.

justwantobeamum · 20/03/2023 19:59

Be a good mother. Protect your babies. How on earth have you allowed this to happen after the first time? Any man did that to my baby, he wants to kill himself? Good, he’ll be out your way for good then and can’t do any more damage and would save me a job of killing him myself and keep me out of prison. Win win.

Thoughtful2355 · 20/03/2023 19:59

Tbh im actually crying thinking about this poor baby being abused :'( I want to protect them all. Poor babys, i havea 3 and 4 yr old and they frustrate me a lot but i could never harm any of them, theyre poor little innocence