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Original poster

Husband pushed 4 year old over who fell and banged his head

372 replies

Wishbub · 20/03/2023 17:54

Not sure this is the right page, but i really don't know what to do. Husband has a bad temper which mainly results in shouting and some hitting of our 4 year old. Today was the worst, my son fell and banged his head, he now had a large lump on the back of his head.

I told my husband that this is physical abuse of a child, which he ridiculed, saying it was just an accident. I told him I have to protect our son, so he's said that he'll kill himself and be out of our way.

I'm currently breast feeding a small baby and feeling incredibly unwell, I don't know what to do...

OP posts:
NotMeNoNo · 20/03/2023 20:25

I suspect the OP is in quite a vulnerable position herself and may not be able to just grab car keys and head to A&E with baby in tow, with a defensive and violent man in the house. It might be helpful if ppl could explain how she can access help without putting herself & DC in further danger. Would police come to the house if called?

cadink · 20/03/2023 20:26

I know you're breast feeding OP so probably feeling fragile - but he's abused your son. It will get worse. Please leave immediately - do it for you son. It's physical abuse and if you stay you're complicit.

Janemact · 20/03/2023 20:26

She’s right. Speak to you best friend, gather your stuff & go. The suicide threats are standard for wife & child beaters.

Aberdeenusername · 20/03/2023 20:27

Exactly . Is anyone on here work for the police? Would they do anything if this was reported?

Tropicaliyes · 20/03/2023 20:27

Reporting this thread will get MNHQ’s attention a lot easier and quicker and the more that do so hopefully the quicker the OP can get some help.

Mammyloveswine · 20/03/2023 20:28

You are allowing your husband to physically abuse your child... please remove yourself and your vulnerable children now.. go to the police..

If you continue to let this happen you will lost custody of your children (best case scenario)., worst case your children will be killed at the hands of their monster of a father.

mummylondon16 · 20/03/2023 20:28

The things you’ve said ( aggressive, hitting a poor little child, threats to kill himself, and you being post natal) are all risk factors on the domestic abuse checklist. As others have said your son could get seriously hurt or die, at best this is scarring him for life. Be the better parent and get out: as soon as you are able get together what you need and go to GP or social services. Take it from someone who put up with too much and has spent years trying to repair her children’s lives. If you can get him out now and take safety advice from local DV services ( check he’s not able to get in or access your accounts, get a camera and alarm fitted, take advice from professionals). If that’s too dangerous contact women’s aid to create a safe leaving plan. Do it for your children they need you

LilLilLi · 20/03/2023 20:28

The OP can dial 999 and not speak. When connected press “55”. While this is not a verified way of accessing help, enough people know about it that not speaking and the two beeps would hopefully be enough to raise concern.

Alternatively, while I do think the child needs medical attention immediately the OP could wait until her partner is asleep to call for help. She could text a friend, even contact @mnhq with her details so a call can be made on her behalf.

It is frightening, I can’t imagine how scared and vulnerable the OP must be but the police will help her, medical staff will help her.

thisisasurvivor · 20/03/2023 20:28

TwilightSkies · 20/03/2023 17:57

Police.
Let him kill himself the fucking prick.

Yes the fcking prick

Please call police asap

Get him out

Get him arrested

Tilllly · 20/03/2023 20:29

Aberdeenusername · 20/03/2023 20:27

Exactly . Is anyone on here work for the police? Would they do anything if this was reported?

Yes
If OP tells the police what's happened and explains she's frightened of what he'll do, they will

strawberrysunrise · 20/03/2023 20:31

I've reported the thread too as it's too alarming to just discuss on a message board.

If genuine the OP and her children need help immediately.

Tilllly · 20/03/2023 20:31

I'm a bit worried that OPs partner may have seen her posting here

MyMumsOnMN · 20/03/2023 20:32

I've reported the thread. Hopefully it's seen by them and something can be done.

Babykingincoming · 20/03/2023 20:34

I hope you and your children are ok 😢 it is really strong of you to post about what has happened, and we’re here for you as you get out of this situation. It sounds like he is trying to manipulate you with his response rather than show remorse and you will be better off away from him. I know it may seem impossible but there’s lots of services that can help if you don’t have relatives or friends to rely on. Try this page for support www.nhs.uk/live-well/getting-help-for-domestic-violence/ xxx

Gremlins101 · 20/03/2023 20:34

Get the hell out of there,OP! You have to protect your children and yourself. And make sure he isn't allowed near them.

beachruns · 20/03/2023 20:34

I’m pretty sure MNHQ actually can’t do anything. I mean I post using a fake throwaway Hotmail account from my iPhone. Never even use my real name.

I know in the dim and distant past there was a poster threatening suicide. Actually twice I can think of. MNHQ didn’t get involved and twice it was a troll.

This is horrifying to read but they can’t (and won’t) do anything more than post links and encourage OP to get real life support.

Boymamabee · 20/03/2023 20:37

If you’re not physically able to take your kids and walk out, act normally with your husband so he doesn’t suspect anything and contact a family member/friend asap (!) and ask them to contact the police on your behalf. Screenshot your post to make it quicker and forward it to more than one person.

Your son needs medical attention!

LilLilLi · 20/03/2023 20:41

beachruns · 20/03/2023 20:34

I’m pretty sure MNHQ actually can’t do anything. I mean I post using a fake throwaway Hotmail account from my iPhone. Never even use my real name.

I know in the dim and distant past there was a poster threatening suicide. Actually twice I can think of. MNHQ didn’t get involved and twice it was a troll.

This is horrifying to read but they can’t (and won’t) do anything more than post links and encourage OP to get real life support.

There was a poster years ago that was suicidal, MN did get help to the poster and emergency services attended - I don’t know what the outcome was.

AlwaysGinPlease · 20/03/2023 20:42

TwilightSkies · 20/03/2023 17:57

Police.
Let him kill himself the fucking prick.

This. Better that than he kills you and the children. Evil bastard. You MUST call the police. If social services get wind then you may lose them anyway if you're doing nothing about the abuse.

Brokendaughter · 20/03/2023 20:47

Some hitting?

The first time he tried that you should have phoned the police & left.

Staying now makes YOU an abuser too, because you know he's hit your poor child MORE THAN ONCE & he will 100% definitely do it again.

Leave or phone Social Services & tell them you are choosing to stay with a man who has hit your child on multiple occasions, causing a head injury this time & you are not seeking medical attention for it.
What do you think they will do?

There is no excuse if your lives are not in danger at this exact second.
It doesn't matter if it's hard.
He hit a child who is supposed to be in your care.
Protect your children or give them to someone who will.

Snugglemonkey · 20/03/2023 20:48

If anyone hit, or pushed my child, I would've ringing the police. I strongly suggest you do so. Then kick him out obviously.

Tropicaliyes · 20/03/2023 20:49

beachruns · 20/03/2023 20:34

I’m pretty sure MNHQ actually can’t do anything. I mean I post using a fake throwaway Hotmail account from my iPhone. Never even use my real name.

I know in the dim and distant past there was a poster threatening suicide. Actually twice I can think of. MNHQ didn’t get involved and twice it was a troll.

This is horrifying to read but they can’t (and won’t) do anything more than post links and encourage OP to get real life support.

Like others have mentioned your IP address is still on show regardless if you use a old throwaway hotmail account which you just said you use on your iphone… all these are tracked easily by the police, so should MNHQ even send this and the appropriate info to the police it would be no problem for them to be found. And I’m hoping this is the case.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 20/03/2023 20:51

You cannot stay with this man. Your son is in danger. And so are you.

Could you call Women's Aid?

Melbourne12 · 20/03/2023 20:56

I’m impressed with those of you who say if someone hit their child they’d phone the police.

I would too, of course, but I think I’d rip their fucking throat out first.

I’m a relatively new Mum and the protective instinct is like nothing else.

StaunchMomma · 20/03/2023 20:58

Get dressed, pick up your babies, either drive or ring a cab and get to the nearest hospital. Get your child checked over and tell them everything.

They will help you from there.

Hopefully he will be arrested and you can get the locks changed or move out yourself.

If you allow him to do it again then you could lose your kids and/or be prosecuted yourself.

You must act now, OP.

I'm so sorry you're going through this.