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Original poster

Husband pushed 4 year old over who fell and banged his head

372 replies

Wishbub · 20/03/2023 17:54

Not sure this is the right page, but i really don't know what to do. Husband has a bad temper which mainly results in shouting and some hitting of our 4 year old. Today was the worst, my son fell and banged his head, he now had a large lump on the back of his head.

I told my husband that this is physical abuse of a child, which he ridiculed, saying it was just an accident. I told him I have to protect our son, so he's said that he'll kill himself and be out of our way.

I'm currently breast feeding a small baby and feeling incredibly unwell, I don't know what to do...

OP posts:
ScrollingLeaves · 20/03/2023 20:12

and some hitting of our 4 year old

I only got that far.

Everyone knows now there must be absolutely no hitting and terrorising.

purpledalmation · 20/03/2023 20:13

The easiest way round this is to take the child to A&E and tell them what happened. The matter will be taken out of your hands then, and safeguarding measures will come into force. The police will be involved as will social workers, but you won't have the anxiety of contacting them yourselves, which would be extremely stressful for you

IllogicalLogic · 20/03/2023 20:13

Threatening suicide is a question in the domestic abuse questionnaire police use.

It's a part of the abuse to keep you 'obedient'.

Wake up OP. In the nicest possible way.

Melbourne12 · 20/03/2023 20:13

OP, if you’re anywhere near Glasgow or the surrounding areas, DM me. Get your babies out of that bloody house.

UnshakenNeedsStirring · 20/03/2023 20:13

MarnieDg · 20/03/2023 20:08

OP isn't coming back.

I doubt she will do the right thing either :(

Those poor children.

Things like this haunt me, I'll be thinking of him for weeks

Sadly you are right. The abuser will continue to hit the poor kids and OP will keep having children and making excuses. I think sometimes bullies pick their victims. People like OP who will simply not get up and do the right thing and continue to moan and whinge. I feel so heartbroken for the poor child in this situation. Poor innocent victim paying the price

TwigTheWonderKid · 20/03/2023 20:15

"Husband has a bad temper which mainly results in shouting and some hitting of our 4 year old. "

"Mainly"? OP it sounds like this is happening so frequently you are getting used to it and normalising it. But you must know it's not normal or right. Does he hurt you too?

Hellybelly84 · 20/03/2023 20:15

I cant read all the replies as its too upsetting for me to read.

Leave. Now. The day you brought a child into the world is the day you agreed to protect them. He is physically abusing your child and your children deserve a home they feel safe, loved and secure. Your children are better away from this man. He may have mental health issues (which it sounds like) which is even more of a reason to be somewhere safe with your kids whilst he seeks help. I agree with the posts above, go to A&E now. You are not in trouble, you are protecting your children. The staff will be trained to help and support you. You dont leave a child with a head injury without seeking help.

LilLilLi · 20/03/2023 20:15

You call the police and you stop allowing your child to be abused.

Because that’s what it is. Child abuse. And as it stands now, by doing nothing you are complicit. When (not if) social services become involved you are failing to protect and at real risk of losing your child.

What if next time he hits his head a bit harder and doesn’t wake up? This is serious.

Do not put a fucking man above your poor, poor child.

StewPots · 20/03/2023 20:17

@mnhq Please can you verify this thread and let us know if there’s any help you or us as users can give to protect this poor child?

Can we send this to the police or a safeguarding team in the hope it gets seen? Obviously appreciate confidentiality but this has to come second in this instance surely???

StewPots · 20/03/2023 20:19

I’m not into troll hunting AT ALL but if there was EVER a thread that I hoped was a fake… this is it. Not saying it is but a child’s life is at stake and if this is real then surely something can be done??

LilLilLi · 20/03/2023 20:19

StewPots · 20/03/2023 20:17

@mnhq Please can you verify this thread and let us know if there’s any help you or us as users can give to protect this poor child?

Can we send this to the police or a safeguarding team in the hope it gets seen? Obviously appreciate confidentiality but this has to come second in this instance surely???

I agree, this is incredibly upsetting is there anything that can be done?

OP, if you are anywhere near Nottinghamshire I’ll happily come and get you and the children and take you wherever you need to go, via a hospital. I even have room here for guests.

Please do something tonight.

Greenfairydust · 20/03/2023 20:20

Call the police, report him and have your son checked out at the hospital.

Your partner has assaulted your child and it is your responsibility to act.

If you don't as others have said you are an accomplice in child abuse.

If you are scared of him, go in another room/bathroom/garden and ring 999.

LilLilLi · 20/03/2023 20:20

God I really hope this isn’t real.

iaapap · 20/03/2023 20:20

If you get your 4yo to hospital, you will have evidence of this, as well as a medical check.

regardless, take photos of the injury

EineReiseDurchDieZeit · 20/03/2023 20:20

I have reported it as well in the hope of getting the OP practical support

UnshakenNeedsStirring · 20/03/2023 20:21

LilLilLi · 20/03/2023 20:20

God I really hope this isn’t real.

I cannot imagine someone would lie in this way. I am so heartbroken for the poor child.

GatoradeMeBitch · 20/03/2023 20:21

If he wants to kill himself, let him get on with it. He's an adult, you're not his mother.

But you are mother to two small children, one he is already abusing, and the other will probably start soon. Get your children to safety. And absolutely get your 4 year old checked over ASAP. Please be truthful and tell them your DH did it. It will help to keep them safe in the future.

Jade31 · 20/03/2023 20:21

Confidentiality comes last. If someone told you this in real life it should be reported as safeguarding a child is everyone’s responsibility

dammiejodger · 20/03/2023 20:22

'Some hitting'? So he's done this before? Your poor son! Leave. Let your so-called husband do what he wants. What a nasty bully.

Tilllly · 20/03/2023 20:22

@Wishbub are you ok?
Can you update us about your wellbeing and your children's?

Gingernaut · 20/03/2023 20:22

Husband has a bad temper which mainly results in shouting and some hitting of our 4 year old

Take the child to hospital and call the police from there.

If the abusive twat kills himself, that's on him.

Hiddenvoice · 20/03/2023 20:22

Protect both your children and yourself by leaving him. Contact women’s aid, get support from them. He is abusive and is hurting your child. If my dh did this then I’d be contacting the police and he would be out the door.

He is emotionally blackmailing you by saying he will kill himself. He physically is hurting a 4 year old, he’s a grown man who should not be hurting anyone.

Please take yourself and your children to safety!

YukoandHiro · 20/03/2023 20:23

You have to leave. I'm sorry you feel so awful. Do you have any family you can stay with while you make a plan and recover from birth?

SnoringPains · 20/03/2023 20:24

OP if you come back to this thread, can you post which area of the U.K. you’re in and see if anyone here can pick you up? I’m sure plenty of us would be willing, it could save your sons life.

Cornishclio · 20/03/2023 20:25

You know what you need to do. Any hitting is unacceptable and is causing your son to be fearful and risking serious injury. I know it must be hard with no family nearby but you really have no option other than to report him to the police and then get yourself and your children to hospital to get your son checked out. He could have a serious head injury.

The very fact your husband ridiculed you and this has happened before is enough to make this serious. As for the threat to kill himself I would ignore that. It is an attempt to get you to ignore his awful behaviour.